You've come a long way baby: Cosmo recommends chocolate buttholes for a V-day gift

cosmo
Cosmo: What do you get for the man who has everything? How about a chocolate version of your butthole! Now, of course Edible Anus chocolates aren’t modeled after your specific anus (if you want something like that, you could always get your anus bronzed), but they may as well be, because who could tell the difference?

Sure, you could just get him a regular box of chocolates for Valentine’s Day, but would that remind him of how he should probably make a point to eat your ass* some time tonight? Probably not. So this year, give the gift of “Yep. This is seriously a butthole that tastes like candy and when it melts looks like poop.

No doubt Lena Dumham (I was raped by a republican) has this on her list for her boyfriend.

I’ll stick with a more romantic option:

vday dinner

DCG

*To each their own. Butt, there are some serious consequences to fecal-oral transmission!

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0 responses to “You've come a long way baby: Cosmo recommends chocolate buttholes for a V-day gift

  1. Just when you thought society could not go any lower…..

     
  2. Revolting and Disgusting. Why is there this concerted all-out (no pun intended) effort by the media & pop culture pushing (no pun intended) for anal sex? My guess is the LGBT agenda.

     
  3. Absolutely disgusting!!!

     
  4. Seriously? The faux sophistication that was once associated with flauting norms and decency has reached its logical conclusion. I await the pendulums swing back.

     
  5. Ewwwwwwwww!!!

     
  6. At first I suspected this was possibly going to be an article about homosexuals celebrating Valentine’s Day. At least I have some relief that this is about heterosexuals.

     
    • Julia,
      How is heterosexual anal sex and all its attendant SERIOUS medical consequences any better than anal sex between queers?

       
      • Believe it or not butt sex is being promoted between heterosexuals as a form of safe birth control, so is oral anal sex. They re not informed it’s also a good way to contract hepatitis, and a host of 3rd world Montezuma’s Revenge bugs including amoebas
        Also prolapsed anus, tears in intestinal walls, etc
        I was attending a lecture on male/female sexual health and the doctor made a humorous but pertinent point on avoiding illness
        “why do you think God placed the anus and mouth at opposite ends of the body”

         
      • You mean besides the fact that it’s NOT about homosexuals? Both are not how things are supposed to go,but one is farther off the mark than the other.

         
    • anal sex is a sin and unhealthy regardless of who does it

       
  7. As gross as it can get, but the information regarding fecal-caused infection and disease put the article to good use.

     
  8. Some body parts are exits, not entrances.

     
  9. Er, no…

     
  10. Why do you post these filthy articles on this “christian” flavored site?

     
    • edible anus is filthy indeed…don’t blame the messenger. What is done in the dark shall be brought to light….shine the light on evil and it’s deeds. We, as Christians, need to know what satan and his followers are capable of; so they can not continue to tell us they are normal and then do this stuff in the dark….many are fooled…look to God’s word for guidance on life. Thank You DCG and Dr. Eowyn for this post.

       
      • MomOfIV, thank you for that exquisite reply regarding why we need to know the depths of perversion that those who are unGodly are willing to put out in the public. You need to know so that if your children, grandchildren come across this, you are prepared with a ready answer for them.

         
    • To expose the goals of the mainstream media. And, in this instance, to make fun of feminism…

       
      • DCG, I stand behind you 100%, you do all of us a hugh favor in bringing the full truth of what’s out there that we need to know. Please continue to enlighten us.

         
    • As Christians, there is even more reason why we should keep ourselves informed of this filth and evil. How are we to “put on the armor of God” if we don’t even know our opponents and their deeds?

       
    • Oh, grow the hell up.
      Reality isn’t always a tiptoe through the tulips.
      In fact, most of the time it’s a trek through steaming piles of bull-squeeze.
      -Dave

       
  11. this is definitely a way to get me off chocolate…ohhhh GROSS!

     
  12. The real butt holes are the perverted liberal loons who have turned America into a giant lunatic asylum. The term “perverted liberal loons” is actually redundant.

     
  13. I wonder if this isn’t also a psychological operation, that is, it is using something universally loved, chocolate, and trying to tie it to the visual image of the rectal orifice to cause pleasurable association between the two. Before anyone says my watch is a few seconds short, they should remember the homosexual movement also did this, with the Rainbow (and to a lesser extent the word “gay”) they took something universally loved, and tried to associate the perversity movement with it as much as possible, which has had the results we see today.
    It doesn’t help that chocolate also produces responses in the body loosely similar to those produced by orgasm and other pleasure responses. But then that is cosmo, the same filth rag that is marketed in grocery stores across the country often without the proper censorship placard in front of it, and usually within eye-level of children and tweens. In this way stores are complicit in corrupting minors as well, when they could simply opt not to carry the despicable thing.
    Needless to say, why would anyone even try to make a regular sexual practice out of rectal stuff? The tissue there just isn’t built for that, whereas tissue elsewhere is… not to mention the hygiene concerns.

     
  14. Speaking of chocolate a-holes, maybe we could send a box to you-know-who. 😉
    -Dave

     
  15. Right you are….. I suspect it’s his favorite ‘candy’……
    Hide a Hershey Kiss inside and call it a ‘roid.
    ‘Cosmo’ ….. a filthy rag if ever there was one.

     

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