You too can be an illegal and get mucho benefits!

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On Monday, June 24, 2013, the U.S. Senate passed an amendment to the Gang of 8 immigration reform amnesty for illegal aliens bill, S. 744 – Border Security, Economic Opportunity, and Immigration Modernization Act.

The amendment effectively is now the substitute bill. (See “Amnesty – and the Traitors among us.”

The amnesty bill prompted Donald Ruppert, an Iowa resident to send the following letter to his senator. (To verify the letter’s authenticity, I did a people search and can confirm that there is a Donald C. Ruppert, age 86, who lives in Burlington, Iowa.)

H/t FOTM’s beloved pnordman.


illegals demand free stuffPhoto taken at a pro-illegal “immigrants” demonstration in Arizona in 2010.

The Honorable Tom Harkin
731 Hart Senate Office Building
Phone (202) 224 3254
Washington DC , 20510

Dear Senator Harkin,

As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for only three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I’m excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year.

Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as ‘in-state’ tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver’s license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me, given that I still have college age children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative.

Thank you for your assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent, (hoping to reach ‘illegal alien’ status rather than just a bonafide citizen of the USA ),

Donald Ruppert
Burlington, IA

Get your “How to Become an Illegal Alien” forms, now!!
Call your Internal Revenue Service at 1-800-289-1040.

Please pass this on to your friends so they can save on this great offer! 😀

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0 responses to “You too can be an illegal and get mucho benefits!

  1. Let ‘s just see. Years ago I lived in USA…although I was a resident legally the jobs that were offered to me because I came from another country were very low paying jobs. Below minimum wage I was treated like a piece of dirt and had to put up with lots of crap and offensive language and was often ridiculed and made fun off.. Determined to educate myself through hard work… I held five jobs and I still had problems trying to save any money it took me a very long long time before learning to speak English and put myself to school….I guess all the years I worked my butt off should come with some type of recompense .. well thanks God I no longer live there and just want to let you know that your remarks lack insight and awereness of what it must be like for somrone to come to another country to be treated unfairly after all you cannot possibly remrmber what experiences your great or great grandparents had to go through whrn they themselves came to the land now you are claiming as your own..because if you are not a Native Indian then your ancestors came from elsewhere and so are you…

    • karmami,

      I am a naturalized U.S. citizen who came to America as a foreign student, from a poor refugee family. Like you, English is not my native language. Like you, I worked in minimum-wage jobs — graveyard shift in a tenderloin diner where I was happy getting a 25c tip; in fast-food A&W Drive-In; deep-fryer and dish-washer in an artichoke diner; in a shoe-store; and selling Avon cosmetics and Fullerbrush from door to door. So you can spare me your lecture because I know FULL WELL what it means to be a struggling immigrant.

      All work is noble. There’s nothing wrong with minimum-wage jobs, so I’m baffled by your self-pity. I’m grateful for the minimum-wage jobs I had, at a time when I was an undergraduate student with no real marketable skills.

      Unlike you or me, what Mr. Ruppert’s letter addresses are the freebies given by this Amnesty bill to ILLEGAL aliens in the United States. What part of “illegal” do you not understand? Sure looks to me you might benefit from a refresher course in English language comprehension.

      • And spelling 101!….re: thanks God , somrone , remrmber , whrn …………That’s why they have the spell-check option on your computer ! Even I know that !

      • Self pity refers to someone who like you came from somewhere else and just because you became a you think yourself as superior with a sense of entitlement. Please spare me , like I previously stated I have moved on successfuly with my life but knows what is like struggling .just because I made it does not mean that I will or have forgotten others less fortunate I do not live in USA . do not want to live there

        • Pray tell what is my “sense of entitlement”?

          You’ve now achieved the level of being comical in your obtuseness at comprehending the difference between “legal” and “illegal”.

      • One more thing. .since you understand English so much better than me…and I do not like to write vulgar terms.. perhaps you are smart and can figure out abbreviations.. .GFYourself …you are not superior than those you are pointing your fingers to . You are one of those things that might stick to the sole of my shoes when I walk in places where there are dogs running around….♥♥

        • You know, karmami, the more you spew, the more you reveal your true face and, in so doing, you are rendering a disservice to your pro-illegals stance. And to think you actually describe yourself as “driven by kindness and compassion“! Too funny.

          Seriously, please get some help, because your hostility is eating you up like acid.

      • After almost bringing me to tears listing all the hardships you went through in life, you have the nerves to tell someone else to spare you a lecture……..Always try to practice what you preach my man.By the way, I am sure you took advantage of government loans and other benefits available to people going to school during your time period and your hypocritical ass did not turn any of them down.People like you who hate their own kind make me sick to my stomach because your feelings of self hate usually wind up affecting the lives of many people.Why don’t you just shut your big mouth and give someone else a chance at the same opportunities you took advantage of and,if you can’t do that,you can always take a long walk off a very short pier with your hands and feet tied together……..Asssholey

        • Hey, Oriol,

          You poor man, you have severe problems with reading comprehension. Did I say those minimum-wage jobs I had were “hardships” I went through in life? Do read my comment again. I specifically stated that all work is noble, including minimum-wage jobs, and that I am grateful for those jobs because at the time I had no real marketable skills and those jobs enabled me to get through my first two years in junior college.

          As for “taking advantage of government loans,” I took out a total of $2,000 in loans for the entire 10 years of my undergraduate and graduate school education, after which I immediately began repaying the loan, month by month, which I completely repaid one year after I received my Ph.D. degree.

          I feel sorry for you, for you are so filled with hatred and venom, you must be seething with rage every minute of the day. I’m just happy that FOTM is helping to send your blood pressure over into lethal territory.

          Have fun while you sink into the abyss! 😀

          P.S. Just so you know you haven’t put one over us, I know your other alias “christianslayer1955.” What delusions of grandeur!
          Oh, and another thing: It is a federal crime, punishable by up to 5 years in prison and a fine of up to $250,000, to transmit any communication containing a threat to injure the person of another, via the Internet and e-mail (as well as the telephone, beepers, and other means of communication). Should any reader of this blog threaten harm to our writers, we will report you and your IP address to the police.

          The following information on commenter Eric Jean Yves Oriol, aka christianslayer1955, has been turned over to law enforcement:
          IP address: in Miami, Florida
          E-mail address: eoriol76@
          If you doubt that LE will come after you, read this:

          • Man, this post is really bringing out a lot of angry leftists. I thought the left was all about love and tolerance. Isn’t that what they say they’re about? It appears that they’re really quite emotional.

      • Ditto Dr. Eowyn! Karmami, you are so presumptive, believing that you are the only one that has ever had a difficult life as an immigrant. My relatives were immigrants, and I know they had hard lives as they used to tell me about their work. Not once, not once, did I ever hear them complain about their journey; they expressed to me their joy in coming to this country. Get out of your chosen state of victimhood.

    • The ” Native Indians” also came from “elsewhere.”

      • Yes but that is what the name implies they were homegrown and here first… By the way just a clarification I am not a Native from North America ancestors come from a tribe in Latin America territories …and I owe nothing to any of you…

        • Based on your own statement: “they were homegrown and here first”, you just made the case against our current imigration reform. We, current US citizens, are “here first”. We don’t want our hard-earned tax dollars supporting others who are not citizens, not paying taxes, and, in many cases, not even working.

          You say you don’t live in the US. If you are in a Latin country, why not use your passion and energy to improve the economic conditions there so people don’t want to run away and come here? Just asking.

          • Why did you come here…didn’t you said that you just became USA citizen…oh ! I forgot most Latin American counties do not tolerate faggots ! …I mean anal tasting subjects and cochinos anal fuxkxrs….Didn’t you also stated that you were proud person from Iowa or something like that….jajaja is all you said is true then now you are even denying your roots…what a truly pitiful waste of skin shit you are. No more comments from you …I don’t want you close by…I don’t want to smell like you !

            • Dr. Eowyn is right. You need help.

              • I am sure he is giving it to you !

                • karmami, you are freaken out of your mind. You speak gibberish. Have the mouth of a drunken sailor hell you even look like a sailor. You said
                  “You made it” What ever you “Made” is meaningless with a mind that works like yours. Hell we can’t even put lipstick on a pig here.
                  Get lost you loser.

                  • Think you should use your mouth to do what you do best. .maybe just wash it after with bleach. …that is the only product that kills germs contained in fecal matter. …

                    • Karmami, my message to you isn’t being received, so I’m repeating it:

                      The more you spew, the deeper the hole you’re digging for yourself.

                      PLEASE GET SOME HELP.

                      (Offered in sincerity and in the spirit of charity.)

                  • I hope that’s not a real picture of karmami ! If so , I’ll start buying stock in the Eveready battery co .

  2. “(To verify the letter’s authenticity, I did a people search and can confirm that there is a Donald C. Ruppert, age 86, who lives in Burlington, Iowa.)”

    You really believe an 86 year old has college-age children still driving his car or just accept that as part of the letter’s sarcasm?

    • Maybe his family started having babies later in life or adopted.

    • Number41 You know we try and check facts for authenticity and as you can see Dr. Eo did just that. I read it the first time and did not catch the grandkid part either. But to me I don’t think it matters.
      In this case the letter could be completely bogus and yet every fact it takes on is a truth. Could just be great sarcasm. 😆

      • Good observation, Steve! By obsessing about age, Number41 is missing the letter’s message.

        Thank you, DCG and Steve. You rock! 😀

        • I’m not “obsessing about age”, just the claim that the letter is authentic.

          It sounds more like a smart-ass letter I would write – throwing in a jab at SCHIP for good measure. Although I wouldn’t call myself a “customer” of the IRS. “Victim” is much more appropriate.

  3. Reblogged this on

  4. wow.. did this ever get uuuuugly!

    truth hurts and so on? ;o)
    You guys and ladies hold no punches. That’s what I love about ya’ll!!
    (stated in her her sweet southern drawl)


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