Wonder what life is like in Bagram?

Want a peek into what life is like for our soldiers serving in Bagram, Afghanistan? There’s a web site called ilovebagram.com (ILB) where soldiers post their comments about life over there. Here’s some of the funny quotes I wanted to share with you:

  • Because when the local mosque does the call to prayer it sounds like somebody is choking a flock of geese.
  • Because I walked by a dead bird and knew for a FACT it had been eating the local food.
  • ILB because black mold is a form of interior decoration.
  • Because of the ash that falls like snow on us from the burn pit which we were told is NOT harmful to us, meanwhile, I have a letter from the Army that says we may have long-term health issues. VA CLAIM..HERE I COME!!
  • Because this place is so bad I got a care package from an inmate in Pennsylvania.
  • ILB because no one who draws women in port-a-johns has ever taken an art lesson in their lives.
  • ILB because the carefree optimism of the new folks that arrived last month is now firmly replaced by the “Bagram 1000-yard stare”.
  • Because I left 3 months ago and am still finding sand and dirt in places where there shouldn’t be sand and dirt.
  • ILB because the best thing to do on my “day off” is to go to work.
  • Trying to find a shower that drains is like Russian Roulette, but instead of a bullet you get athletes foot.
  • First place I’ve been where it makes more sense to wash your hands before you use the latrine than after.
  • ILB because it taught me to appreciate anywhere else.
  • b/c I feel like I’m on Fear Factor every time I go into the dfac (dining facility)
  • ILB because there are directions on how to use the toilets, and people still mess it up.
  • My favorite perfume scent is now Febreeze.
  • Because the only thing worse than getting soap in your eyes, is getting the water in your eyes.
  • Rockets, mortars, Taliban breaching the wire…yet nothing strikes terror in my heart the way dropping my BlackBerry on the portajohn floor does.
  • Because no where else but Bagram will you see a Soldier carrying his M4 at the ready with his right hand, while in his left he sips an iced mocha-latte through a straw.
  • Because just last night I got a parking ticket in a war zone.
  • Because there is a sign that says Burger King is open but no one knows where.
  • Because you have to use old water bottles, taped together, as AC ducting. Makes the tent looks like a gerbil cage.
  • Because this site could be used by Congress as a professional bulleted white paper on how to save 60 billion dollars.

Warning: If you go to the web site, you will find language that may be offensive. After all, not all aspects of serving over there are a pleasure. You’ve been warned 🙂

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7 years ago

Sounds like a veritable garden spot.

7 years ago

This could be the S.S. of Chicago in a parallel universe !!!!!!!!!!!!

7 years ago

My daughter’s been there for almost three months now. Says it is a filthy s**thole.