Wife From Hell.


A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says,’ I clocked
you at 80 miles per hour, sir.’

The driver says, ‘Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60; perhaps 
your radar gun needs calibrating. ‘ 

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: ‘Now don’t be silly, 
dear — you know that this car doesn’t have cruise control.’ 

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife 
and growls, 
‘Can’t you please keep your mouth shut for once !! ?’ 

The wife smiles demurely and says, ‘Well dear you should be thankful your 
radar detector went off when it did or your speed would have been higher.’ 

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector 
unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, 
‘Woman, can’t you keep your mouth shut?’ 

The officer frowns and says, ‘And I notice that you’re not wearing your 
seat belt, sir. 
That’s an automatic $75 fine.’ 

The driver says, ‘Yeah, well, you see, officer, I had it on, but I took it 
off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back 

The wife says, ‘Now, dear, you know very well that you didn’t have your 
seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you’re driving.’ 

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket, the driver 
turns to his wife and barks, ‘WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??’ 

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, ‘Does your husband always 
talk to you this way, Ma’am?’ 

‘Only when he’s been drinking.!!’ 

~Steve~                               H/T Our Miss May


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7 years ago

She definitely qualifies for that title ! Nothing like pouring gasoline on a fire .

7 years ago

Could have been worse , she could have said ; ” Only when he beats me ” !

7 years ago

That’s like the old joke. Do you still beat your wife..LOL

7 years ago

That was one of the best I have read. It gave me a permanent smile.

7 years ago

Glad you liked it. LOL

7 years ago

or ex-wife…

3 years ago

Reblogged this on kommonsentsjane and commented:

Reblogged on kommonsentsjane/blogkommonsents.

Love it.


3 years ago

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