Who's Reading What

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The other day, we were told by Pew Research that the Internet has taken over the print media as Americans’ source of news.
Of course, that doesn’t mean that no one is reading newspapers anymore. So who’s reading what? Fellowship of the Minds always stands ready to be of assistance. Here’s a handy guide!
H/t our beloved Miss May 😀
~Eowyn

An Easy Guide to Who’s Reading What

  1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.
  2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.
  3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country, and who are very good at crossword puzzles.
  4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don’t really understand The New York Times. They do, however, like their statistics shown in pie charts.
  5. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country and did a poor job of it, thank you very much.
     
  6. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren’t too sure who’s running the country and don’t really care as long as they can get a seat on the train.
     
  7. The New York Post is read by people who don’t care who is running the country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.
  8. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country, but need the baseball scores.
  9. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery store.
     
  10. The Seattle Times is read by people who have recently caught a fish and need something to wrap it in.
    11. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn’t mind running the country, if they could find the time from indoor tanning, teeth whitening, and botox — and if they didn’t have to leave Southern California to do it.
  11. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren’t sure if there is a country or that anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped people-of-color feminist gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender atheist dwarfs who also happen to be illegal aliens from any other country or galaxy — provided of course, that they are not Republicans.
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0 responses to “Who's Reading What

  1. My husband faithfully reads his Wall Street Journal every night for waaaay too long!! He certainly does not run the country, but we might be a great deal better off if he did!!! Heck, maybe then I could pretend to be an elite, or maybe First Lady. I LOVE fashion, and I know I could do betterthen MOO. I do not even need a wig…..I must wake up–these are not good thoughts this early in the AM.

     
  2. Too funny!

     
  3. They forgot one.
    The AJC, known affectionately around here as the Al Jazeera Urinal-Constipation, is written by idiots like Cynthia Tucker for other idiots who voted to replace the idiot Cynthia McKinney with an even bigger idiot – Hank (Guam is going to capsize!) Johnson.
    -Dave

     

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