Where have all the husbands gone? – Take the poll!

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rabbit wedding cake top
Marriage rates in the United States and the UK are at an all-time low.
According to Peter Lloyd in a series in London’s Daily Mail, Britain’s marriage rate is at its lowest level since 1895: “The state of matrimony is not just ailing. It is dying out faster than a mobile phone battery. For an army of women, Mr. Right is simply not there, no matter how hard they look for him.”
In an op/ed for Fox News, May 1, 2015, Suzanne Venker writes that things are no better this side of the Atlantic. According to Pew Research Center, the share of American adults who’ve never been married is at an historic high—and men are more likely than women to have never made it down the aisle (23% vs. 17% in 2012).
Venker asks “What gives? Why are men here and abroad avoiding the altar in spades?,” and offers two reasons:

1. Because they can: Men used to marry to have sex and a family. They married for love, too, but they had to marry the girl before taking her to bed, or at least work really, really hard to wear her down. Those days are gone.
When more women make themselves sexually available, the pool of marriageable men diminishes. “In a world where women do not say no, the man is never forced to settle down and make serious choices,” writes George Gilder, author of “Men and Marriage.”
Scoff if you wish. Call me a fuddy-duddy. But how’s that new plan working out?
2. Because there’s nothing in it for them: What exactly does marriage offer men today? “Men know there’s a good chance they’ll lose their friends, their respect, their space, their sex life, their money and — if it all goes wrong — their family,” says Helen Smith, Ph.D., author of “Men on Strike.” “They don’t want to enter into a legal contract with someone who could effectively take half their savings, pension and property when the honeymoon period is over.Men aren’t wimping out by staying unmarried or being commitment phobes. They’re being smart.”
Unlike women, men lose all power after they say “I do.” Their masculinity dies, too.
What’s left of it, that is. In the span of just a few decades, America has demoted men from respected providers and protectors of the family to superfluous buffoons. Today’s sitcoms and commercials routinely paint a portrait of the idiot husband whose wife is smarter and more capable than he. (This is one of my pet peeves. ~Eowyn)
There was a time when wives respected their husbands. There was a time when wives took care of their husbands as they expected their husbands to take care of them.
Or perhaps therein lies the rub. If women no longer expect or even want men to “take care of” them — since women can do everything men can do and better, thank you very much, feminism — perhaps the flipside is the assumption that women don’t need to take care of husbands, either. And if no one’s taking care of anyone, why the hell marry?
For women, the reason is obvious: kids. Eventually most women decide they want children, no matter how long they put it off to focus on their careers. So they often nab the best guy they can find, usually the one with whom they’re currently sleeping, and convince him to get married.
If the man refuses, we call him, as Smith notes, a “commitment phobe.” But is that fair? Perhaps these men know all too well that women initiate the vast majority of divorces — anywhere from 65-90 percent, depending on demographics. And when they do, they take the kids with them and hang hubby out to dry with the help of a court system that’s heavily stacked in their favor. In the past, Mom got the kids because she was home with them doing the thankless, unpaid, mountainous work associated with that role. Today, neither parent is home, so there’s no reason the default custodial parent should be Mom.
So remind me, why would a man marry today?
No, really. What’s in it for him?

To the above two reasons for the declining marriage rate, I’ll add a third:
3. Government welfare: Women, especially those low on education and skills, don’t need men to support them and their kids any more. They have the Welfare State — government as their husbands who provide for them without expecting or demanding anything in return.
The traditional man-woma) family has been the bedrock of societies and human civilization itself. With the corrosion of the family, people become more and more atomized and isolated. That, in turn, empowers the state even more.
See DCG’s post, “Feminists are insufferable: Let’s stop idealizing the home-cooked family dinner“.
Let’s hear from you!


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0 responses to “Where have all the husbands gone? – Take the poll!

  1. Kevin J Lankford

    It crossed my mind just the other day watching some promotion on T.V.. Almost in every instance, whether some advertisement for some ridiculous product, a promotion for a restaurant or fast food franchise, vacation resort, well no matter what, a man and woman, and perhaps child or two are viewed in the presentation, but it is the woman voicing all the excitement and attraction of the experience and adventure while the man just stands in silent wonder.

  2. traildustfotm

    Great photo. The Rabbids are very funny.

  3. Out of my family and my girlfriend’s immediate family, we have seen 5 divorces in 3 years, 3 of which were our parents. Both of our fathers have been taken to the cleaners in regards to the courts.
    Tell me again why guys want to get married?

  4. I could write a book in response to this but I won’t. Maybe the best short answer I can give is something I said to a friend recently.
    We were discussing homosexuals and how most homosexual men we knew through our places of employment were very polite, considerate, caring, sociable, humorous, self-assured (meaning they did not have that ‘I am worthless’ attitude or ‘I can’t do anything right’ attidude or let the ‘little woman take care of it attitude), work hard, clean, neat and, although had numerous ‘girlie girl’ qualities, also had an air of manliness around them that you do not find in the heterosexual world. My comment to my friend was “it is a shame that hetrosexual men do not work as hard on developing their personalities, their personal habits, education and work skills as homosexual men do!”

    • Please tell me that was a sarcastic comment.

    • Because, I mean, I can write a book in response…

    • It’s that kind of statement that makes men say, “screw it”. Most men are certainly not that way.

    • MA in MO,
      Sodomites are more masculine than heterosexual men? Really? I don’t know where you worked or what part of the country you live(d) in, but what you describe does not accord with my life experiences, at work or otherwise.

      • Five years for a privately held corporation, thirty-three years for a very large midwestern state university system’s upper echelon — fifteen of which were for the head honcho of the university’s medical center. Working at a large state university gives one a whole range of experiences, challenges, dealing with people from all ethinic groups and a lot of ‘you gotta be kidding!’ My rural roots run deep because it kept me very grounded in this very liberal, far left of left environment.

        • I’ve spent my entire professional life teaching in state and private universities. Not only had I encountered very few homosexual men, I have not found them to be more attractive & masculine than heterosexual men. Perhaps your impression has more to do with your taste in men?

    • Believe you’ve answered the Male poll question there…

    • Living close to New Orleans, I am acquainted with many homosexual men. In fact, I grew up with some of them. I personally have not found them on the more masculine side of the spectrum. Indeed they like to give that impression, growing beards, becoming physically fit, etc. They are very cynical and many of them really dislike women. Many times I have heard them laugh and brag about how they made women make fools of themselves. Not all of them want to come out of the closets and they enjoy having women think they are heterosexual. Polite, considerate, caring? Wait until you get to know them really well. I can’t help but laugh. They have the worst tempers of anybody I know. Just yesterday I happen to cross one of them in my neighborhood and he called me a raging bitch.

  5. It’s rather simple , ” Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free ? “

  6. Also , notice the rabbits ……Man is smiling and the woman is p’od with a weapon in her right paw . Must be some of that feminist training on display .

  7. Looks like Dorothy Parker was right—a good man IS hard to find. And so is a good woman!

  8. It is horrible the decay that is pervasive in our society. Just look at the (I think) Verizon ads–they show a woman, who is very smart vs a man, who is unfortunately a total smuck. I cringe each and every time I see these ads which demean “white men.” It is very sad, but I can see why men are hesitant to get married–because women suck the daylights out of them. The worst thing that ever happened was that Uncle Sam became the “bread winner” for all these single women who just keep having kids, and having kids, and having kids!

  9. What I’ve noticed is that usually a Woman will marry a Man because he’s a good man,a good compromise,with the idea that she can eventually make him into the kind of Man she REALLY wants,but the Man won’t change who he is. A Man will marry a Woman because she’s perfect for him,she’s everything he’s always wanted,but THEN,she CHANGES.

  10. Marriage used to be about confining the act of sex between husband and wife (truly about making love), and the result was procreation. Women used to worry about finding husbands to care for and love and to father children. Men used to want to be protectors and providers and have wives and children to love. Marriage was about a man and woman working together, raising a family in love and in Christ.
    “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” Genesis 2:24
    Today, sex is promoted, abortion is promoted, sodomite behavior/homosexuality is promoted, “sexy” is promoted, alcoholism is promoted, masturbation is promoted, bondage is promoted, all about “me” is promoted. Society has replaced marriage with sex. The values of husband, wife, children…the institution of marriage, has become a peculiarity in and of itself. Marriage, where once glorified, is now a bother and nuisance. Society has divided male and female through equal rights and feminism (basically communism), the judicial system, education, etc….and we all know “A housed divided shall not stand”.
    Men would court their potential spouses, and women would pull the reins in regards to sex, and couples had chaperones to ensure nothing improper happened between the two. Men felt they were getting their feminine prize and women felt they were getting their knight in shining armor. They knew sex outside of marriage was wrong because it was against God’s desires, showed no commitment, resulted in disease, produced children, and was frowned upon by society. People used to be responsible, sexually moral, and went to church regularly.
    Church was a strong part of their sexual and moral discipline. Today, church attendance has dropped and so have values and morals. Now, women spread their legs at the drop of a condom or pill and offer sex with complete disregard to self-respect, safety, and pregnancy and drink like sailors (basically alcoholics). The rhythm of marriage between men and women is in asynchrony.
    Women, used to be revered and protected, and now are despised, masculine, and competition for men. Men, once seen as breadwinners and heads of households, are now seen as weak, effeminate, and as competition for women. Both sides are stuck on their own needs and lack of respect instead of filling the needs of one another through love and Christ. Neither side holds the glory of childbirth as a gift from God, instead, children are treated as refuse, chattel, as byproducts from sex, and as tools to fulfill adults’ evil sexual desires.
    The further our society moves away from Christ, the less meaning marriage will have on the hearts of man. The more we move away from marriage, the less of a society we will have. For marriage between a man and a woman through God is what grows a strong society.

  11. MomofIV . . . your comments are so true, and very well written. Great post by the way!

  12. In my opinion, the younger generation knows everything there is to know about sex, but nothing at all about romance. There is a difference. Romance is a fine art. Jane Austen knew what it was all about – emotion, mystery, flirting, courtship and true love with a touch of wit. Once perfected, it can keep going for a lifetime.

  13. MomofIV, I think you just about covered it all.
    This all makes me so sad. If it was just naturally the way things had gone I guess we could say, oh well. But knowing this has all been orchestrated through social engineering by a small group of psychopaths who want to turn things into a brave new commie world, (think THX 1138 where they arrested anyone if they actually had real sex with another human being without permission) really makes me sick.
    I was in a store just two days ago and overheard a woman my age bragging to the store clerk about how her daughters work is everything to her and that she has no interest in marriage, along with all the daughters friends who are not married either. My son of 39 desperately wants to get married and have kids but as he says, tattoos and women smoking cigars is a real turnoff for him, and that’s all that seems to be around.
    I used to work in the design field when I was younger. I always tried not to notice differences, but working around an environment with many a Gay person in it, I couldn’t help noticing that an inordinate amount of these individuals had very, very, unbalanced personalities. They could be unusually viscous for no reason.

    • I liked your post, Lana! They are trying to turn things into a brave new commie world. We are considered wrong now if we believe that marriage is a sacrament between a man and a woman. We are being brain washed to accept a new definition of marriage. Have you ever thought about what gay marriage really is? It is legal fiction. It is a creation of the state. Its very existence is mandated by the government not by God and nature.

    • Lana,
      your comment raises an interesting question…where are the quality men and women to marry and create quality families that will produce quality children who will grow up to become quality men and women who will marry quality women and men?
      I know I want my sons and daughters to grow up with Christ in their hearts and on their tongues and marry “quality” people with Christ in their hearts and on their tongues. It seems it will get harder and harder for the younger generation to find quality people. I believe if the focus is kept on Jesus and attendance at a good church, one might find the search to be fruitful.

  14. now i know who dan savage is. and i am sorry i do


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