Whatever you do, don’t talk to my parrot

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Wanda’s dishwasher quit working.

So she called the plumber and made an appointment for the next day.

Since Wanda would be at work, she told the plumber, “I’ll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I’ll mail you a check. Oh, by the way, don’t worry about my dog Spike. He won’t bother you. But, whatever you do, do not, under any circumstances, talk to my parrot! I must stress to you, DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!”

When the plumber arrived at Wanda’s apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking dog he has ever seen.


But, just as Wander had said, Spike just lay there on the carpet, calmly watching the plumber go about his work.

The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant screams, ear-splitting screeches, curses, and *#Ψ?@! F-bombs.

Finally the plumber couldn’t contain himself any longer and yelled, “SHUT UP! You stupid, ugly bird!!!!!!!”

To which the parrot replied, “Get him, Spike!”



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0 responses to “Whatever you do, don’t talk to my parrot

  1. I did NOT see that punchline coming.

  2. Good laugh! Can involve two excellent forms of animal life, intelligent parrots and bull terriers, so readers, don’t recoil at those beasts. Just watch your language and don’t speak unfavorably about the good forms and practices of government, you may not know how those beasts have been trained.

  3. Love it! I have 8 Macaws and 40 smaller parrots who have many voices and persons living inside them….as they are all rescued and they go from mens voices to womens all in one bird, but the worst thing they say is “Brat” and ……”What? Are you talking to me….” and I get lots of I love you’s! They call the dogs by their names and meow and bark. They truly make my day….poop and all!

  4. Just made my YEAR with this one! Thanks….

  5. Excellent joke, but did you have to give away my password on the fourth from the last line between “and…”F-bombs?”, a password used with an unnamed internet provider of UN propaganda?

  6. I don’t get it. Can someone explain it to me! Please!

    • Dear MLA:

      Because the woman’s parrot is trained to say “Get him Spike!” if a stranger talks to the parrot, which means the ferocious dog named Spike would attack you.


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