The Assault-Rifle Cat Caption Contest!

This Caption Contest is now closed.

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This is the 216th world-famous FOTM Caption Contest, the first contest of 2020!

Here’s the pic:

About the pic: On April 25, 2017, Oregon’s Newport Police Department received a report of a cat in a tree armed with an assault rifle. Turns out it was merely a cat with a rather distinctive marking. ( See “Gun Hysteria: Oregon police called to disarm cat with ‘assault rifle’,” April 10, 2018.)

You know the drill:

  • Enter the contest by submitting your caption as a comment on this thread (scroll down until you see the “LEAVE A REPLY” box).
  • The winner of the Caption Contest will get a gorgeous Award Certificate of Excellence and a year’s free subscription to FOTM:D
  • FOTM writers will vote for the winner.
  • Any captions proffered by FOTM writers, no matter how brilliant (ha ha), will not be considered. :(

This contest will be closed in a week, at the end of next Tuesday, January 7, 2020.

To get the contest going, here’s my caption:

“What Democrats see”

For the winner of our last Caption Contest, go here.

~Eowyn

Drudge Report has gone to the dark side. Check out Whatfinger News, the Internet’s conservative frontpage founded by a military veteran!

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Alma
Alma
9 months ago

A sure way to rid off the “…….rats” with minimum effort.

DCG
Admin
DCG
9 months ago
Reply to  Alma

Kitty is a member of the NRA…no rats allowed!

Alma
Alma
9 months ago
Reply to  Alma

Support the Second Amendment.

William
William
9 months ago

Meeeow-lon Labe

Grace
Grace
8 months ago
Reply to  William

You took the words right out of my mouth!

William
William
8 months ago
Reply to  Grace

That caption was just kinda floating around so I grabbed it. I apologize, I didn’t realize that was your mouth 🙂

William
William
9 months ago

Unknown to most Americans, the Framers of the constitution added a footnote to the 2nd Amendment to include cats

William
William
9 months ago

When the ultra-leftist Oregon legislature banned catnip toys to Save The Planet, armed Patriot cat militias began forming in that state

rjwanderer
rjwanderer
9 months ago

Darn! Should have ditched my winter camo.

DFJ150
9 months ago

Say hello to my little friend.

DaytonaPeach
DaytonaPeach
9 months ago

I’m a Tom cat with nine lives and a Tommy gun, you see… so don’t come any closer coppers, you dirty rats…

Jackie Puppet
9 months ago

NO DEMONRATS ALLOWED!!

Kevin J Lankford
Kevin J Lankford
9 months ago

I told’cha,…I’ll get out’a this tree when I’m good and ready.

Tom Wigand
Editor
9 months ago

“Who’s callin’ me a pussy?”

Tom Wigand
Editor
9 months ago

“I hereby declare this to be a Second Amendment sanctuary tree!”

Goldbug
Goldbug
9 months ago

No way are they confiscating mine!

vett
vett
9 months ago

I dare you to call me a “pussy” cat!

vett
vett
9 months ago

I dare you to call me a “pussy” cat again!

YouKnowWho
YouKnowWho
8 months ago

That’s what I call ‘The Cat-bird’s Seat’.

I knew it, I just knew it. It’s always been a cat conspiracy.

The right to paw arms.

Lou Minati
Lou Minati
8 months ago

Not a caption, but a devious thought just hit me. Imagine if someone could mass-produce stuffed animals that look like this. We could place them in thousands of trees, atop historic statues, on roofs, the possibilities are endless. Then sit back and watch the libtards’ heads explode! Can you imagine? And we could hold a “death pool” kind of thing – Guess the date when the first demonrat legislature passes a law against placing stuffed animals in public areas. Just because, in their insatiable need for control, you know they will. All profits, of course, to charity… Vet organizations, helping… Read more »

William
William
8 months ago
Reply to  Lou Minati

Now that you posted your comment they are probably passing laws aleady. Those progressives, they’re so…progressive

Tih
Tih
8 months ago

Get this cat neutered or it will spray.

andre
andre
8 months ago

Bunny and Clyde

MOLLY YOUNG
MOLLY YOUNG
8 months ago

I’ll give you my gun when you take it from my cold, dead paws.

grampire
grampire
8 months ago

Puss and Bullets , where have you been ?
I went to California to keep an eye on the Queen .
Puss and Bullets what did you there .
I went to make sure elections are Fair .

William
William
8 months ago
Reply to  grampire

good one

GregB
GregB
8 months ago

Kitty is living proof that libnuts are blind in more ways than one.

Lawrence Johnson
Lawrence Johnson
8 months ago

“Just keep movin….human scum”

GregB
GregB
8 months ago

“You’re not hunting him…. He’s hunting you.”

(Quote from one of the Rambo movies.)

TrailDust
Admin
8 months ago

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!
I can’t wait to read the captions on this one!

Ron Nunn
Ron Nunn
8 months ago

Here’s one PUSSY Trump’s not gonna grab!

Dave B.
Dave B.
8 months ago

Sure looks like Sylvester the Cat wants to get Tweety or Speedy Gonzales.

Neon Peon
Neon Peon
8 months ago

The last election was stolen from Hillary. If it happens again this year I’m going to find a country music festival and…. you’ll seeeeeee!

Paladin
8 months ago

Arnold, the terminator cat, says, “Republicans WILL BE BACK!”

GregB
GregB
8 months ago

When you CATywompused, CATatonic human CATastrophes CATegorically outlawed CATnip, you CATegorized me and my fellow CAT friends as CAThartic CATtle ready for slaughter, but you have made a huge mistake by CATaclysmically CATapulting us into enemy CATegory status, and now you’re gonna regret it. Meow-lon Labe from me and my fellow CATfish eaters! You humans will soon find out who is the CATalyst in this fight for our rights. If you wanted a CATfight you CATsup slurping, CATheter wearing, CAThouse dwelling, CATerpillars, you got one bud. You thought you would catch us CATnapping, but look who’s in the CATbird seat… Read more »

Gunny T
Gunny T
8 months ago

Haha Libs, how many of you are triggered now?

Captain America
Captain America
8 months ago

News outlets the following day: Republican white supremacist cat with assault weapon opens fire on peaceful Antifa pep rally.

J Black
J Black
8 months ago

Inspector Hairy Catahan talking to a “BAN ALL WEAPONS” progressive demonstrator:
“I know what you’re thinking. “Did I fire six twigs or only five?” Well, to tell you the truth, I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a HICKORY 911 MAGNUM STICK, the most powerful STICK in the world, and would poke your eye out at 100 yards, you’ve got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?”

J Black
J Black
8 months ago

Okay leftist punk…Make my day!

J Black
J Black
8 months ago

STICK ‘em UP! I can shove this up your tail pipe faster than you can say, “Here Kitty Kitty”!

Otto
Otto
8 months ago

Is Schiff in prison yet? NO!? Then nobody is safe!!

chemtrailssuck
chemtrailssuck
8 months ago

Real Pussies own guns.

Bikermailman
Bikermailman
8 months ago

Tree Cat is Ceiling Cat’s redneck cousin.