The Assault-Rifle Cat Caption Contest!

This Caption Contest is now closed.

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This is the 216th world-famous FOTM Caption Contest, the first contest of 2020!

Here’s the pic:

About the pic: On April 25, 2017, Oregon’s Newport Police Department received a report of a cat in a tree armed with an assault rifle. Turns out it was merely a cat with a rather distinctive marking. ( See “Gun Hysteria: Oregon police called to disarm cat with ‘assault rifle’,” April 10, 2018.)

You know the drill:

  • Enter the contest by submitting your caption as a comment on this thread (scroll down until you see the “LEAVE A REPLY” box).
  • The winner of the Caption Contest will get a gorgeous Award Certificate of Excellence and a year’s free subscription to FOTM:D
  • FOTM writers will vote for the winner.
  • Any captions proffered by FOTM writers, no matter how brilliant (ha ha), will not be considered. :(

This contest will be closed in a week, at the end of next Tuesday, January 7, 2020.

To get the contest going, here’s my caption:

“What Democrats see”

For the winner of our last Caption Contest, go here.

~Eowyn

Drudge Report has gone to the dark side. Check out Whatfinger News, the Internet’s conservative frontpage founded by a military veteran!

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32 Comment authors
Dr. EowynBikermailmanchemtrailssuckOttoJ Black Recent comment authors
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Alma
Member
Alma

A sure way to rid off the “…….rats” with minimum effort.

DCG
Admin

Kitty is a member of the NRA…no rats allowed!

Alma
Member
Alma

Support the Second Amendment.

William
Member
William

Meeeow-lon Labe

Grace
Guest
Grace

You took the words right out of my mouth!

William
Member
William

That caption was just kinda floating around so I grabbed it. I apologize, I didn’t realize that was your mouth 🙂

William
Member
William

Unknown to most Americans, the Framers of the constitution added a footnote to the 2nd Amendment to include cats

William
Member
William

When the ultra-leftist Oregon legislature banned catnip toys to Save The Planet, armed Patriot cat militias began forming in that state

rjwanderer
Guest
rjwanderer

Darn! Should have ditched my winter camo.

DFJ150
Guest

Say hello to my little friend.

DaytonaPeach
Guest
DaytonaPeach

I’m a Tom cat with nine lives and a Tommy gun, you see… so don’t come any closer coppers, you dirty rats…

Jackie Puppet
Member

NO DEMONRATS ALLOWED!!

Kevin Lankford
Member
Kevin Lankford

I told’cha,…I’ll get out’a this tree when I’m good and ready.

Tom Wigand
Editor

“Who’s callin’ me a pussy?”

Tom Wigand
Editor

“I hereby declare this to be a Second Amendment sanctuary tree!”

Goldbug
Guest
Goldbug

No way are they confiscating mine!

vett
Guest
vett

I dare you to call me a “pussy” cat!

vett
Guest
vett

I dare you to call me a “pussy” cat again!

YouKnowWho
Guest
YouKnowWho

That’s what I call ‘The Cat-bird’s Seat’.

I knew it, I just knew it. It’s always been a cat conspiracy.

The right to paw arms.

Lou Minati
Guest
Lou Minati

Not a caption, but a devious thought just hit me. Imagine if someone could mass-produce stuffed animals that look like this. We could place them in thousands of trees, atop historic statues, on roofs, the possibilities are endless. Then sit back and watch the libtards’ heads explode! Can you imagine? And we could hold a “death pool” kind of thing – Guess the date when the first demonrat legislature passes a law against placing stuffed animals in public areas. Just because, in their insatiable need for control, you know they will. All profits, of course, to charity… Vet organizations, helping… Read more »

William
Member
William

Now that you posted your comment they are probably passing laws aleady. Those progressives, they’re so…progressive

Tih
Guest
Tih

Get this cat neutered or it will spray.

andre
Guest
andre

Bunny and Clyde

MOLLY YOUNG
Guest
MOLLY YOUNG

I’ll give you my gun when you take it from my cold, dead paws.

grampire
Guest
grampire

Puss and Bullets , where have you been ?
I went to California to keep an eye on the Queen .
Puss and Bullets what did you there .
I went to make sure elections are Fair .

William
Member
William

good one

GregB
Guest
GregB

Kitty is living proof that libnuts are blind in more ways than one.

Lawrence Johnson
Guest
Lawrence Johnson

“Just keep movin….human scum”

GregB
Guest
GregB

“You’re not hunting him…. He’s hunting you.”

(Quote from one of the Rambo movies.)

TrailDust
Admin

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!
I can’t wait to read the captions on this one!

Ron Nunn
Guest
Ron Nunn

Here’s one PUSSY Trump’s not gonna grab!

Dave B.
Guest
Dave B.

Sure looks like Sylvester the Cat wants to get Tweety or Speedy Gonzales.

Neon Peon
Guest
Neon Peon

The last election was stolen from Hillary. If it happens again this year I’m going to find a country music festival and…. you’ll seeeeeee!

Paladin
Guest

Arnold, the terminator cat, says, “Republicans WILL BE BACK!”

GregB
Guest
GregB

When you CATywompused, CATatonic human CATastrophes CATegorically outlawed CATnip, you CATegorized me and my fellow CAT friends as CAThartic CATtle ready for slaughter, but you have made a huge mistake by CATaclysmically CATapulting us into enemy CATegory status, and now you’re gonna regret it. Meow-lon Labe from me and my fellow CATfish eaters! You humans will soon find out who is the CATalyst in this fight for our rights. If you wanted a CATfight you CATsup slurping, CATheter wearing, CAThouse dwelling, CATerpillars, you got one bud. You thought you would catch us CATnapping, but look who’s in the CATbird seat… Read more »

Gunny T
Guest
Gunny T

Haha Libs, how many of you are triggered now?

Captain America
Guest
Captain America

News outlets the following day: Republican white supremacist cat with assault weapon opens fire on peaceful Antifa pep rally.

J Black
Guest
J Black

Inspector Hairy Catahan talking to a “BAN ALL WEAPONS” progressive demonstrator:
“I know what you’re thinking. “Did I fire six twigs or only five?” Well, to tell you the truth, I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a HICKORY 911 MAGNUM STICK, the most powerful STICK in the world, and would poke your eye out at 100 yards, you’ve got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?”

J Black
Guest
J Black

Okay leftist punk…Make my day!

J Black
Guest
J Black

STICK ‘em UP! I can shove this up your tail pipe faster than you can say, “Here Kitty Kitty”!

Otto
Guest
Otto

Is Schiff in prison yet? NO!? Then nobody is safe!!

chemtrailssuck
Guest
chemtrailssuck

Real Pussies own guns.

Bikermailman
Guest
Bikermailman

Tree Cat is Ceiling Cat’s redneck cousin.