A redneck map of the USA
Things You’ll Never Hear Southern Boys Say
- Pass me the tofu.
- When I retire, I’m movin’ north.
- Oh I just couldn’t, she’s only sixteen.
- I’ll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
- Duct tape won’t fix that.
- Come to think of it, I’ll have a Heineken
- We don’t keep firearms in this house.
- You can’t feed that to the dog.
- No kids in the back of the pickup, it’s just not safe.
- Wrestling is fake.
- We’re vegetarians.
- Do you think my gut is too big?
- I’ll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy..
- Honey, we don’t need another dog.
- Who gives a darn who won the Civil War?
- Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
- Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
- I just couldn’t find a thing at Wal-Mart.
- Trim the fat off that steak.
- Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
- The tires on that truck are too big.
- I’ve got it all on the C: DRIVE.
- Unsweetened tea tastes better.
- My fiancé, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany’s.
- I’ve got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
- She’s too young to be wearing a bikini.
- Hey, here’s an episode of “Hee Haw” that we haven’t seen.
- I don’t have a favorite college team.
- You Guys.
- Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Betty Mae.
AND THE NUMBER ONE THING THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY SAY, EVER:
1. I’m driving a whole busload of us down to re-elect OBAMA.
Hey, I like tofu!!! LOL
Three cheers for our Southern boys!
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