This year's Stella Awards go to….

May it please the Court:
The True Stella Awards® were inspired by Stella Liebeck. In 1992, Stella, then 79, spilled a cup of McDonald’s coffee onto her own lap, burning herself. A New Mexico jury awarded her $2.9 million in damages, but that’s not the whole story. Ever since, the name “Stella Award” has been applied to any wild, outrageous, or ridiculous lawsuits.
* SEVENTH PLACE
Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The store owners were understandably surprised by the verdict, considering the running toddler was her own son.

* SIXTH PLACE *
Carl Truman, 19, of Los Angeles, California won $74,000 plus medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Truman apparently didn’t notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor’s hubcaps.
* FIFTH PLACE *
Terrence Dickson, of Bristol, Pennsylvania, who was leaving a house he had just burglarized by way of the garage. Unfortunately for Dickson, the automatic garage door opener malfunctioned and he could not get the garage door to open. Worse, he couldn’t re-enter the house because the door connecting the garage to the house locked when Dickson pulled it shut.  Forced to sit for eight, count ’em, EIGHT days and survive on a case of Pepsi and a large bag of dry dog food, he sued the home-owner’s insurance company, claiming undue mental anguish. Amazingly, the jury said the insurance company must pay Dickson $500,000 for his anguish. We should all have this kind of anguish.
FOURTH PLACE
Jerry Williams, of Little Rock, Arkansas, garnered 4th Place in the Stella’s when he was awarded $14,500 plus medical expenses after being bitten on the butt by his next door neighbor’s beagle – even though the beagle was on a chain in its owner’s fenced yard. Williams did not get as much as he asked for because the jury believed the beagle might have been provoked at the time of the butt bite because Williams had climbed over the fence into the yard and repeatedly shot the dog with a pellet gun.
* THIRD PLACE *
Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania because a jury ordered a Philadelphia restaurant to pay her $113,500 after she slipped on a spilled soft drink and broke her tailbone. The reason the soft drink was on the floor: Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument. What ever happened to people being responsible for their own actions?
SECOND PLACE
Kara Walton, of Claymont, Delaware sued the owner of a night club in a nearby city because she fell from the bathroom window to the floor, knocking out her two front teeth. Even though Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the ladies room window to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge, the jury said the night club had to pay her $12,000….oh, yeah, plus dental expenses. Go figure.
And now…. Drum roll…
FIRST PLACE *
This year’s runaway First Place Stella Award winner was Mrs. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, who purchased a new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home, from an OU football game, having driven onto the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver’s seat to go to the back of the Winnebago to make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the motor home left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Also not surprisingly, Mrs. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not putting in the owners manual that she couldn’t actually leave the driver’s seat while the cruise control was set. The Oklahoma jury awarded her, are you sitting down? $1,750,000 PLUS a new motor home. Winnebago actually changed their manuals as a result of this suit, just in case Mrs. Grazinski has any relatives who might also buy a motor home.
If you think the court system is out of control and America has lost ALL
common sense, be sure to pass this one on!!!
~ Steve~           H/T  Joseph

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0 responses to “This year's Stella Awards go to….

  1. amazing the winnebago fiasco is actually also a scene from the movie “the darwin awards” a comedy that shows the many ignorant ways people have managed to kill themselves.

     
  2. Isn’t surprising….considering the outcome of Casey Anthony’s trial. Who would have ever believed she was NOT GUILTY.

     
  3. This is why companies are forced by their liability insurance to put such stupid directions on their products. Here are some beauts!
    On Sears hair dryer:
    Do not use while sleeping.
    On a bag of Fritos:
    You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
    On a bar of Dial soap:
    Directions: Use like regular soap.
    On some Swanson frozen dinners:
    Serving suggestions: Defrost.
    Printed on the bottom of Tesco Tiramisu dessert:
    Do not turn upside down.
    On Marks and Spencer Bread Pudding:
    Product will be hot after heating.
    On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
    Do not iron clothes on body.
    On Boot’s Children’s Cough Medicine:
    Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.
    On Nytol Sleep Aid:
    Warning: May cause drowsiness.
    On most brands of Christmas lights:
    For indoor or outdoor use only.
    On a Japanese food processor:
    Not to be used for the other use.
    On Sainsbury’s peanuts:
    Warning: Contains nuts.
    On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
    Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
    On a child’s Superman costume:
    Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
    On a Swedish chain saw:
    Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
    On a toboggan:
    Beware: Sledge may develop high speed under certain snow conditions.
    On a knife sharpener:
    Caution: knives are sharp.
    On shin pads for cyclists:
    Shin guards cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.
    On a take away coffee cup:
    Caution: Hot beverages are hot.
    Emergency safety procedures at a US summer camp:
    In case of flood, proceed uphill. In case of flash flood proceed uphill quickly.
    In a microwave oven manual:
    Do not use for drying pets.
    On the back of a pilot’s seat in a Nato aircraft:
    Seat must be facing forward for take-off and landing.
    On the bottom of a cola bottle:
    Do not open here.
    On a Harry Potter wizards broom:
    This broom does not actually fly.
    On a box of aspirin:
    Do not take if allergic to aspirin.
    On a bottle of laundry detergent:
    Remove clothing before distributing in washing machine.
    On a muffin packet:
    Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat.
    In a kettle instruction manual:
    The appliance is switched on by setting the ‘ON/OFF’ button to the ‘ON’ position.
    On a ketchup bottle:
    Instructions: Put on food.
    On a bottle of rum:
    Open bottle before drinking.
    A car park sign:
    Entrance only. Do not enter.
    A sign in a street in Hong Kong:
    Beware of people.
    Rules on a tram in Prague:
    Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be persecuted.
    Sign on newly-renovated ramp entrance, USA:
    Take care: new non-slip surface.
    On a can of air freshener:
    For use by trained personnel only.
    On a bottle of baby lotion:
    Keep away from children.
    On a pair of socks bought in egypt:
    Do not wash.
    On a 500-piece jigsaw puzzle:
    Some assembly required.
    On a can of pepper spray used for self defense:
    May irritate eyes.
    On a Frisbee:
    Warning: may contain small parts.
    In a car handbook:
    In order to get out of car, open door, get out lock doors, and then close doors.
    On a packet of cashew nut pieces:
    Warning: This product may contain residue of nuts.
    Directions for mosquito repellant:
    Replacing battery: replace old battery with a new one.
    On a birthday card for a one year old:
    Not suitable for children aged under 36 months or less.
    In a hotel bedroom:
    Please do not turn on TV except when in use.
    In a lift in a Japanese hotel:
    Push this button in case anything happens.
    On a toilet cleaning brush:
    Do not use orally.
    On a can of Spray paint:
    Do not spray in your face.
    On a TV remote:
    Not Dishwasher safe.
    On a blowtorch:
    Not used for drying hair.
    On a washing machine inn a launderette:
    No small children.
    On a bottle of hair dye:
    Do not use as Ice Cream topping.
    On a push along lawn mower:
    Not to be used as a hedge trimmer.
    On a box of fireworks:
    Do not put in mouth.
    On the packaging for a wrist watch:
    Warning this is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants.
    In a dishwasher manual:
    Do not allow children to play in dishwasher.
    On a toaster:
    Do not use underwater.
    On a mattress:
    Do not attempt to swallow.
    http://www.doheth.co.uk/funny/doomed

     
  4. You gotta wonder the mentality of their peers…just beyond reasonable some of these awards are.

     
  5. Thats beyond stupid!!!

     

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