The APA-approved Caption Contest

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This is the 192nd world-famous FOTM Caption Contest!

Here’s the GIF:

About the GIF: New Zealand Prime Minister John Key tries to hammer a nail.

You know the drill:

  • Enter the contest by submitting your caption as a comment on this thread (scroll down until you see the “LEAVE A REPLY” box).
  • The winner of the Caption Contest will get a gorgeous Award Certificate of Excellence and a year’s free subscription to FOTM:D
  • FOTM writers will vote for the winner.
  • Any captions proffered by FOTM writers, no matter how brilliant (ha ha), will not be considered. :(

This contest will be closed in a week, at the end of next Tuesday, January 22, 2019.

To get the contest going, here’s my caption:

Non-toxic masculinity, approved by Gillette and American Psychological Association.

For the winner of our last Caption Contest, go here.


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46 responses to “The APA-approved Caption Contest

  1. A real man would know how to hit the nail on the head.

  2. The MSM. STILL trying to pound that collusion nail

  3. He obviously hasn’t nailed anything in a long time.

  4. It’s the hammer’s fault. We need to ban hammer’s.

    PM Key demonstrating his drive by hammering technique.

    This is the biggest hammer I could find but I still can’t hit the nail.

    The only tool I haveis a hammer. Good thing all my problems look like nails.

    Well, I’m better at this that Barak Obama.

  5. He’s doing this while singing the song, “If I Had A Hammer.”

    If I had a hammer
    I’d hammer in the morning
    I’d hammer in the evening
    All over this land
    I’d hammer out danger
    I’d hammer out a warning
    I’d hammer out love between
    My brothers and my sisters, ah-ah
    All over this land

  6. Hitting the nail on the head is really a job for Donald Trump.

  7. If I were a carpenter, I would get a lot of overtime because it takes me so long to set even one nail . . . or perhaps they could can me!

  8. If you keep missing the nail, you may need bifocals.
    Please contact Sen. Charles Schumer (D-NY)

  9. He’s the typical politician who’s never done an honest day’s work in his life.

  10. Kevin J Lankford

    He needs a smaller hammer;….hes just a little “pecker”….any how.

  11. Now we know why he can’t put a cabinet together!

  12. The construction worker from the Village People made it look so easy

  13. Carlo Bongiorno

    His poor wife. I’ve never seen a man have such a hard time getting it in the hole.

  14. The hammer is a 13 year old male searching for the fenail.


  15. Non-toxic masculinity in action!

  16. “THIS is NOTHING! You should see the damage I can do with POWER tools!!”

  17. No, it’s not “hit the nail on the head”, it’s “hit the nail WITH the head”

  18. Put some hair around it, then I can hit it………………..

  19. This isn’t as easy as YouTube made it look.

    Someone else always does this for me.

    I can’t hammer right cause I’m a leftist.

  20. That man is as inaccurate with a hammer as Senator Schumer is with the truth!

  21. And to think that that wood is not as hard as Nancy Pelosi’s head!

  22. New Zealand Prime Minister John Key hammers like lightning; He never strikes twice in the same place.

  23. All Prime Minister John Key’s wife would do is cry, whenever she sees this video.

  24. Whack A Mole ANZAC Style!!!


  26. Trying not to break a nail(s) while hammering a nail.

  27. I have this same problem when I try to hammer nails into my skull. Started the practice in Kindergarten and got nicknamed hammerhead.

  28. It’s the hammers fault…. Made in China!

  29. And for my next trick I will tax you into the poor house, reduce your rights to say anything about it, and then tell you how lucky you are I’m not to far left. think of the things I would do then. :-()

  30. Just try to visualize if it were a tack and a tack hammer.

  31. There’s certainly no “toxic masculinity” here!

  32. I learned my carpentry in Than Fwanthithco

  33. captain america

    Fucking nail! Is there a guy here?

  34. Not only is he incompetent in using the hammer, he doesn’t know where the nail is going.

  35. “Hey, if I could do anything useful I wouldn’t have to be a politician”.

  36. It’s much easier to swing the nail at the hammer

  37. Nail proves it’s smarter than a human

  38. Low educated nail proves it’s smarter than a human

  39. I can’t hammer a nail and I don’t know how to please a woman

  40. I can’t do anything right that’s why I became Prime Minister

  41. My other talents are sleeping , breathing and ….

  42. You would think my right arm would be stronger with all the jerking off I do

  43. Jeopardy; Name something his wife would say:
    “Why can’t I pound it in?”

  44. This Caption Contest is now closed.


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