The naked protester Caption Contest

This is the 189th world-famous FOTM Caption Contest!

Here’s the pic (Eye Bleach Warning!):

About the pic: On December 7, 2017, Aleksandra Nemchinova, 36, protested naked outside Ukraine’s parliament in Kiev, with the message “Row the f*ck away” scrawled on her body directed at the president and his political opponent for “ruining the country”. Wielding a paddle, she fought the guards before she was arrested and hauled away. (Daily Mail)

You know the drill:

  • Enter the contest by submitting your caption as a comment on this thread (scroll down until you see the “LEAVE A REPLY” box).
  • The winner of the Caption Contest will get a gorgeous Award Certificate of Excellence and a year’s free subscription to FOTM:D
  • FOTM writers will vote for the winner.
  • Any captions proffered by FOTM writers, no matter how brilliant (ha ha), will not be considered. :(

This contest will be closed in a week, at the end of next Tuesday, December 11, 2018.

To get the contest going, here’s my caption:

Guard: “Grab your pussy? I wouldn’t touch it with a 10-ft. pole.”

For the winner of our last Caption Contest, click here.

~Eowyn

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44 Comment authors
We have a winner! - Fellowship Of The MindsButtersGrifMad CeltAvaJ Recent comment authors
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MyBrainHurts
Guest
MyBrainHurts

Nice shoes.

Joseph Ulman
Guest
Joseph Ulman

I’m warning you little man, that Angel Michael dude ain’t got nothing on me!

JJ
Guest
JJ

On December 7, 2018, Aleksandra Nemchinova, 36,

Really?? Isn’t today Dec. 5????
And that woman CAN NOT be 36–my body of age 68 doesn’t even look that bad!!!

Glenn47
Guest
Glenn47

Moby Dick seeks revenge.

Lophatt
Member
Lophatt

“What have you done with Quequag and where is his boat?”

Crazy Cat
Guest
Crazy Cat

Paging Captain Ahab: Your whale has arrived and can be picked up at the Kiev Municipal Police Department.

HarryH
Guest
HarryH

Who’s your daddy now?

Dan Durham
Guest

The corruption ain’t over until the fat lady sings.

truckjunkie
Guest
truckjunkie

OW!!! That picture HURTS!!

If the president and his political opponent are smart,they’ll “RUN the f*ck away” !!! Hope the protester’s looks don’t rub off on the Cops…

Larry
Guest
Larry

Nobody flips the burgers but me! Got it!!??

WJR
Guest
WJR

Come Mr. Tally Man tally me Banana boobs…

Captain America
Guest
Captain America

Rosie O’Donnell has met her Mini-Me.

TrailDust
Admin

Wow!

Lophatt
Member
Lophatt

There was a barstool here somewhere……..?

YouKnowWho
Guest
YouKnowWho

If I can’t have a job in San Francisco scooping poop at least let me sell them a couple of thousand of these nifty shovels.

Dave
Editor

The wife of the Pillsbury Doughboy goes off the rails upon finding out her hubby got baked.

rjwanderer
Guest
rjwanderer

Two things come to mind:
1) Is that fat lady done singing?
2) from the best of Elmer Fudd…(singing)…Kill the wabbit, kill the wabbit.

kjf
Guest
kjf

Lady, the 10 foot pole works the other way

Watertender
Guest
Watertender

Thar She Blows!!!! Where is a Svend Foyn Gun when you need one??

Watertender
Guest
Watertender

Helga frantically signals for help as the cannibals ready the pot for their feast…. 50lbs potatoes, 50lbs carrots, 25lbs onions… 1 large female…. Yup.. all the ingredients are there…. Ohh and 10 gallons of Pepto Bismol!!!

Jackie Puppet
Member
Jackie Puppet

The guard is thinking “I’m never gonna eat cottage cheese again”

silhouette
Guest
silhouette

Damn, as if her nudity isn’t bad enough, she feels the need to wear a message and threaten with a paddle.
I sense some serious liberal overtones.

Paladin
Guest

A scene from Hollywood’s newest movie, “The Fat and the Furious”.

SmKay
Guest
SmKay

A whole new meaning for Amazon Prime

TRUTH
Guest
TRUTH

AN ATTRACTIVE NAKED LADY WOULD GET A LOT MORE ATTENTION!

Gunny T
Guest
Gunny T

The guard is thinking – Damn, I hope she doesn’t sit on me.

GregB
Guest
GregB

Guard – “Crap! I gave up scuba diving because I didn’t want to get attacked by killer whales, and now look what happens.”

Amy Armadillo
Guest
Amy Armadillo

Gubernatorial candidate from Ukraine’s “NakedParty” out collecting votes; seen here with her portable teleprompter and “body art” campaign platform.

christy
Guest
christy

All these years later a Chernobyl escapee reaches civilization.

Watertender
Guest
Watertender

The moment Olaf realized that being a Viking had its down side…..

Andy
Guest
Andy

STOP Fat Shaming NOW!

Roger Louth
Guest
Roger Louth

So………What’s the Combo to stop you getting Bitch Slapping with a Pizza Shovel?

Ghostwalker1
Guest
Ghostwalker1

Lady, what are those? A pair of 40 longs?

Kevin Lankford
Member
Kevin Lankford

Some body!…Please bring this lady a bigger boat!!

Captain America
Guest
Captain America

Her nipples are so far away from her heart, they couldn’t get any blood, turned black, and died.

David R(Canada)
Guest
David R(Canada)

Suggested caption:

“Strap this pole across your back, so you don’t fall in.”

David R(Canada)
Guest
David R(Canada)

One of the nicest women on the “Ukrainian girls looking for husbands ” site. SIGN ME UP!

dad29
Guest

And YOU thought looking into Hillary’s eyes was repulsive!

Sam
Guest
Sam

You’re gonna fuck me or else!

Joseph BC69
Guest
Joseph BC69

“Get away from my bread, it’s mine, all mine, I need it ALL on my mega-carbos diet!”

pigpen51
Guest
pigpen51

Nobody better lay a finger on my butt, err, finger.

pigpen51
Guest
pigpen51

Top Chef, Ukraine, with the worlds longest pancake turner.

wandafish
Guest
wandafish

The photo grossed me out, I am having second thoughts about revisiting my Mom’s Chicken Kiev recipe.

GregB
Guest
GregB

Here’s a photo of a contestant at the, “Naked Karaoke In The Park” festival in Ukraine in 2017. The contest is to decide which song she’s singing here. She’s singing (screeching) either –
A) ZZ Top’s, “Ten Foot Pole”
B) The Beatles’, “I Am The Walrus”
C) “Crazy” by the Bare Naked Ladies, or
D) “Psycho Killer” by the Talking Heads, or
E) All of the above all in succession at around 120 decibels.

So which is it?

(The correct answer of course is “E.”)

Locke Enlode
Member
Locke Enlode

Does this fake spear make me look fat?

Locke Enlode
Member
Locke Enlode

Where’s my husband? The Michelin Man… I know you’re KGB! Where did you take him? Tell me or you’ll get the business end of my fake spear! Da?

dkolb2010
Guest
dkolb2010

“I have a paddle, now tell me where ‘Sh=t Creek’ is!”

Hawkmoon
Guest
Hawkmoon

The mentally ill Liberal is so repulsive, I do not even want to look at it

AvaJ
Guest
AvaJ

Are you from Earth???

Mad Celt
Guest
Mad Celt

“That’s great! I’m now blind!”