The naked protester Caption Contest

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This is the 189th world-famous FOTM Caption Contest!

Here’s the pic (Eye Bleach Warning!):

About the pic: On December 7, 2017, Aleksandra Nemchinova, 36, protested naked outside Ukraine’s parliament in Kiev, with the message “Row the f*ck away” scrawled on her body directed at the president and his political opponent for “ruining the country”. Wielding a paddle, she fought the guards before she was arrested and hauled away. (Daily Mail)

You know the drill:

  • Enter the contest by submitting your caption as a comment on this thread (scroll down until you see the “LEAVE A REPLY” box).
  • The winner of the Caption Contest will get a gorgeous Award Certificate of Excellence and a year’s free subscription to FOTM:D
  • FOTM writers will vote for the winner.
  • Any captions proffered by FOTM writers, no matter how brilliant (ha ha), will not be considered. :(

This contest will be closed in a week, at the end of next Tuesday, December 11, 2018.

To get the contest going, here’s my caption:

Guard: “Grab your pussy? I wouldn’t touch it with a 10-ft. pole.”

For the winner of our last Caption Contest, click here.


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56 responses to “The naked protester Caption Contest

  1. Nice shoes.

  2. I’m warning you little man, that Angel Michael dude ain’t got nothing on me!

  3. On December 7, 2018, Aleksandra Nemchinova, 36,

    Really?? Isn’t today Dec. 5????
    And that woman CAN NOT be 36–my body of age 68 doesn’t even look that bad!!!

    • Look again at the date. I says Dec 7, 2017, not 2018. I totally agree with you about her not looking her age though. I think that is 36 in Shamu the killer whale years.

  4. Moby Dick seeks revenge.

  5. “What have you done with Quequag and where is his boat?”

  6. Paging Captain Ahab: Your whale has arrived and can be picked up at the Kiev Municipal Police Department.

  7. Who’s your daddy now?

  8. The corruption ain’t over until the fat lady sings.

  9. OW!!! That picture HURTS!!

    If the president and his political opponent are smart,they’ll “RUN the f*ck away” !!! Hope the protester’s looks don’t rub off on the Cops…

  10. Nobody flips the burgers but me! Got it!!??

  11. Come Mr. Tally Man tally me Banana boobs…

  12. Captain America

    Rosie O’Donnell has met her Mini-Me.

  13. Wow!

  14. There was a barstool here somewhere……..?

  15. If I can’t have a job in San Francisco scooping poop at least let me sell them a couple of thousand of these nifty shovels.

  16. The wife of the Pillsbury Doughboy goes off the rails upon finding out her hubby got baked.

  17. Two things come to mind:
    1) Is that fat lady done singing?
    2) from the best of Elmer Fudd…(singing)…Kill the wabbit, kill the wabbit.

  18. Lady, the 10 foot pole works the other way

  19. Thar She Blows!!!! Where is a Svend Foyn Gun when you need one??

  20. Helga frantically signals for help as the cannibals ready the pot for their feast…. 50lbs potatoes, 50lbs carrots, 25lbs onions… 1 large female…. Yup.. all the ingredients are there…. Ohh and 10 gallons of Pepto Bismol!!!

  21. The guard is thinking “I’m never gonna eat cottage cheese again”

  22. Damn, as if her nudity isn’t bad enough, she feels the need to wear a message and threaten with a paddle.
    I sense some serious liberal overtones.

  23. A scene from Hollywood’s newest movie, “The Fat and the Furious”.

  24. A whole new meaning for Amazon Prime


  26. The guard is thinking – Damn, I hope she doesn’t sit on me.

  27. Guard – “Crap! I gave up scuba diving because I didn’t want to get attacked by killer whales, and now look what happens.”

  28. Gubernatorial candidate from Ukraine’s “NakedParty” out collecting votes; seen here with her portable teleprompter and “body art” campaign platform.

  29. All these years later a Chernobyl escapee reaches civilization.

  30. The moment Olaf realized that being a Viking had its down side…..

  31. STOP Fat Shaming NOW!

  32. So………What’s the Combo to stop you getting Bitch Slapping with a Pizza Shovel?

  33. Lady, what are those? A pair of 40 longs?

  34. Kevin J Lankford

    Some body!…Please bring this lady a bigger boat!!

  35. Captain America

    Her nipples are so far away from her heart, they couldn’t get any blood, turned black, and died.

  36. David R(Canada)

    Suggested caption:

    “Strap this pole across your back, so you don’t fall in.”

  37. David R(Canada)

    One of the nicest women on the “Ukrainian girls looking for husbands ” site. SIGN ME UP!

  38. And YOU thought looking into Hillary’s eyes was repulsive!

  39. You’re gonna fuck me or else!

  40. “Get away from my bread, it’s mine, all mine, I need it ALL on my mega-carbos diet!”

  41. Nobody better lay a finger on my butt, err, finger.

  42. Top Chef, Ukraine, with the worlds longest pancake turner.

  43. The photo grossed me out, I am having second thoughts about revisiting my Mom’s Chicken Kiev recipe.

  44. Here’s a photo of a contestant at the, “Naked Karaoke In The Park” festival in Ukraine in 2017. The contest is to decide which song she’s singing here. She’s singing (screeching) either –
    A) ZZ Top’s, “Ten Foot Pole”
    B) The Beatles’, “I Am The Walrus”
    C) “Crazy” by the Bare Naked Ladies, or
    D) “Psycho Killer” by the Talking Heads, or
    E) All of the above all in succession at around 120 decibels.

    So which is it?

    (The correct answer of course is “E.”)

  45. Does this fake spear make me look fat?

  46. Where’s my husband? The Michelin Man… I know you’re KGB! Where did you take him? Tell me or you’ll get the business end of my fake spear! Da?

  47. “I have a paddle, now tell me where ‘Sh=t Creek’ is!”

  48. The mentally ill Liberal is so repulsive, I do not even want to look at it

  49. Are you from Earth???

  50. “That’s great! I’m now blind!”

  51. This is one I can’t resist:

    Olga “Thunder Thighs” Megabuttskiovich corners a prospective husband on Sadie Hawkins day.

    (NOTE: You have to be old enough to know what Sadie Hawkins Day to get the joke.)

  52. A Yellow Vest protester wandered into Ukraine and found a more hellish and hopelessly insane place than back home.

  53. looks like I found some lunch!

  54. Herman Melville’s First draft book cover called; ‘Mopy Dick’

    **** See Urban Dictionary: Mopy – Definition

  55. Pingback: We have a winner! - Fellowship Of The Minds

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