“You comma to de front door of the apartmenta. I amma inna apartmenta 301. There issa bigga panel at the front door. Wit’ you elbow, pusha button 301. I will buzza you in. Comma inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and wit’ you elbow, pusha 3. Whena you get out, I’mma on the left. Wit’ you elbow, hit my doorbell.”
“Grandma, that sounds easy, but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?
“What…. You coming empty handed?”
H/t beloved fellow Joseph, who is of Italian heritage. 😉