The ‘I can’t breathe’ Caption Contest

This Caption Contest is now closed.

_____________________________________________

This is the 231st world-famous FOTM Caption Contest!

Here’s the pic (h/t DCG):

You know the drill:

  • Enter the contest by submitting your caption as a comment on this thread (scroll down until you see the “LEAVE A REPLY” box).
  • FOTM writers will vote for the winner.
  • Any captions proffered by FOTM writers, no matter how brilliant (ha ha), will not be considered. :(

This contest will be closed in two weeks, at the end of Tuesday, September 29, 2020.

To get the contest going, here’s my caption:

“Help me. I can’t breathe!,” her lady bits scream.

For the winner of our last Caption Contest, go here.

~Eowyn

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pat thomas
pat thomas
1 month ago

It seems everything I do is ass-backwards

pat thomas
pat thomas
1 month ago

Too bad you can’t eat…

Lolz
Lolz
1 month ago

Back to Front Matters

Gunny T
Gunny T
1 month ago

With this mask on I didn’t know my ass was so big!

old guy
old guy
1 month ago
Reply to  Gunny T

I thought she was asking if the mask made her arse look big.

bry
bry
1 month ago

With my ass on backwards, I can protest coming and going.

BadFrog
BadFrog
1 month ago

There’s no way I’m ever going to fall down a manhole.

GregB
GregB
1 month ago

These were her husband’s muffled last words after she rolled over on him in the middle of the night.

old guy
old guy
1 month ago

If Michelle Obama had a daughter

Booniesgirl80s
Booniesgirl80s
1 month ago

She can’t breathe because whales need water to support their weight. Thar she blows!

the truth of god
the truth of god
1 month ago

even with a mask you don’t have any problem stuffing your gizzard.

the truth of god
the truth of god
1 month ago

what you need is a chastity belt for your pie hole and not a mask

the truth of god
the truth of god
1 month ago

are you storing away O2 tanks ?

the truth of god
the truth of god
1 month ago

her hubby was instructed to roll her in flour and look where the fun begins

the truth of god
the truth of god
1 month ago

why do my knees knock??

the truth of god
the truth of god
1 month ago

if i were in the same closet i would be the one saying i can’t breathe

Jonny Doe
Jonny Doe
1 month ago

…when I see a pot of chitlins!

Last edited 1 month ago by Jonny Doe
the truth of god
the truth of god
1 month ago

she has more chins than a chinese phone book

Just Another Patriot
Just Another Patriot
1 month ago

“Sir, the rioters have deployed their armored tank division”

Kevin J Lankford
Kevin J Lankford
1 month ago

“This ain’t ‘air’ I’m full of”!!

kelly
kelly
1 month ago

How do you know which end to put the mask on?

barbarossa58
barbarossa58
1 month ago

Couldn’t you find a mask that matches the sumo wrestling suit?

GregB
GregB
1 month ago

Maybe the reason you can’t breathe is because of the 200 lbs of fat that’s crushing your lungs and other internal organs. If you’ll just obey our wise “leaders” and keep that face diaper on 24/7 for the next month or two, it will keep you from continuously shoving all that junk food down your gullet as you have been doing for many years now and you can finally lose some weight. Then maybe you can start to breathe again. See, they really are trying to look out for your best interests (sarc.) Of course, you may asphixiate yourself, or… Read more »

Watertender
Watertender
1 month ago

The weighted Liberal vote in 3D…. I can see her looting a KFC and terrorizing the staff!!!

Jackie Puppet
1 month ago

I can’t tie my shoes, either!

Jackie Puppet
1 month ago

I got…FUUDDGGGGGGEEE!!! Hershey’s chocolate kissesssss!!

Jackie Puppet
1 month ago

Give it a few more years, her boobs will be hanging out her shorts!

Jackie Puppet
1 month ago

I can’t tell where her boobs end, and her belly begins!

Captain America
Captain America
1 month ago

Can’t breathe, huh? Well, for starters, your head’s on backwards.

andre
andre
1 month ago

Where do you start? Perfect candidate for heart disease, lung disease, co-morbidities for Covid such as diabetes, obesity, and more. Of course she can’t breathe.

pat thomas
pat thomas
1 month ago

2020 in one picture

YouKnowWho
YouKnowWho
1 month ago

And Bullwinkle, the magician, realized his mistake when he put his assistant together backwards after sawing her in half.

old guy
old guy
1 month ago

You can’t breathe because you’re using your mask as a feed bag.

barbarossa58
barbarossa58
1 month ago

Not everyone has as many choices of where to place the diaper….

J.M.Prime
J.M.Prime
1 month ago

it’s because your balls are so swollen

Last edited 1 month ago by J.M.Prime
oldguy
oldguy
1 month ago

I can’t breathe and I haven’t seen my feet in years.

TrailDust
Admin
1 month ago

This contest is going to get ugly.

barbarossa58
barbarossa58
1 month ago
Reply to  TrailDust

It was from the start…

YouKnowWho
YouKnowWho
1 month ago
Reply to  TrailDust

Going To? !

omega-man
omega-man
1 month ago

“I can’t breath. I can’t twerk. I can’t bend over. I can’t walk 30 feet. Will somebody call for my fork-lift driver?”

Alex Scott
Alex Scott
1 month ago

Leftist Mentality: “I will hold my breath until I explode if I don’t get my way!”

the truth of god
the truth of god
1 month ago

are you hiding food or you just happy to see me??

old guy
old guy
1 month ago

A future welfare millionaire when all the babies are delivered

Last edited 1 month ago by old guy
Larry
Larry
1 month ago

“I Can’t Breathe” — words heard in the ladies room after she left.

Kingsville
Kingsville
1 month ago

It is because your head is facng the wrong way.

Bill Bostic
Bill Bostic
1 month ago

The last words of her Boyfriend when they decided she would be on top during Sex !!

Flo
Flo
1 month ago

Consider yourself lucky. You most likely can’t wipe your heiny either or you’d die from the smell!!

the truth of god
the truth of god
1 month ago

please don’t ask for CPR it would require a compressor with 100 PSI just to inflate your girth.

kelly
kelly
1 month ago

I like big butts and I can not lie, I have one on each side.

the truth of god
the truth of god
1 month ago

she is 2 time zones

Exile
Exile
1 month ago

My head is turned backwards!

old guy
old guy
1 month ago

Stop holding your breath

Soggy Doggy
Soggy Doggy
1 month ago

Helping to test the accuracy of the City’s new industrial scales, Anteequa tips in at 1125 lbs.