The Hide-in-a-Mattress Caption Contest

This is the 195th world-famous FOTM Caption Contest!

Here’s the gif:

About the gif: Spanish border police find African “migrant” in a mattress.

You know the drill:

  • Enter the contest by submitting your caption as a comment on this thread (scroll down until you see the “LEAVE A REPLY” box).
  • The winner of the Caption Contest will get a gorgeous Award Certificate of Excellence and a year’s free subscription to FOTM:D
  • FOTM writers will vote for the winner.
  • Any captions proffered by FOTM writers, no matter how brilliant (ha ha), will not be considered. :(

This contest will be closed in a week, at the end of next Tuesday, March 12, 2019.

To get the contest going, here’s my caption:

Come to the US-Mexico border, all ye dregs of the world! You can just saunter into America without resorting to tricks like hiding in a mattress!

For the winner of our last Caption Contest, go here.

~Eowyn

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Gunny T
Guest
Gunny T

I’ve been abducted by aliens .. I was sleeping last night and now I’ve ended up here .. am I in Spain yet?

SmKay
Guest
SmKay

Another reason to buy Made in the USA. “You dont know what critters are hiding in an imported mattress!”

Charles H Slate
Guest
Charles H Slate

Now that’s a bed bug!

Dan
Guest
Dan

My thought, too. A few more mattress from India and the bedbug plague will decimate our cities like a wave of Fukushimas.

christy
Guest
christy

The latest in Memory Foam technology. When they open up the mattress you remember you aren’t from this country.

Charles H Slate
Guest
Charles H Slate

The real reason Zyklon B was invented.

tomad thomas
Guest
tomad thomas

Sleep ON it!

Zip-ped-e-doda
Guest
Zip-ped-e-doda

JACKPOT! Obummer’s DACA DREAM ACT – ARRIVAL OF ONE MILLION ILLEGAL ENTRY.
As of June 30, 2017, 793,026 people had been approved for the program since it began and nearly 900,000 renewals had been approved over the life of the program.

Alma
Member
Alma

“Huyu umpaka Mexico?” Swahili translation “Is this the border with Mexico?”

Yahoo
Guest
Yahoo

The lazy man’s way to Make a Run for the Border.

Larry
Guest
Larry

What are you doing opening the mail? I came Postage Paid!

Watertender
Member
Watertender

Dammit I shouldn’t have eaten those beans! They smelled it and thought I was a burrito….

danwdurham
Member

I was sleeping soundly. Why did you have to wake me up?

Lophatt
Member
Lophatt

Wow! An Ethiopian sandwich!

Alma
Member
Alma

Je, mimi kufanya hivyo kwa mexico? ?
“Did I make it to Mexico?” In Swahili.

Lophatt
Member
Lophatt

“I slept in a Holiday Inn last night where the ‘Magic Fingers’ spoke Swahili”.

BoyDownTheLane
Guest
BoyDownTheLane

My Sleep Number is free… free, I say… freee, free, free.

Jdombek
Guest
Jdombek

Thank Allah, I’m free! 2 sweaty goathumps buggered their livestock on me last night!

G W Freeborn
Guest
G W Freeborn

You saved my life,this mattress was getting ready to start digesting me.

chemtrailssuck
Guest
chemtrailssuck

So THIS is where all those bed bugs came from.

chemtrailssuck
Guest
chemtrailssuck

Dear Mattress Firm,
I recently purchased a mattress from your company, and I wish to complain. It is very lumpy and makes strange sounds when I adjust myself while sleeping. It also emits a noxious smell from time to time. Also, I noticed the mattress leaking an unidentified fluid. Please let me know where I can return it.
Sincerely,
Ann A. Gram

chemtrailssuck
Guest
chemtrailssuck

At least THIS illegal came with his OWN mattress.

Jackie Puppet
Member
Jackie Puppet

Migrant: “Where is my sister & wife, Ilhan Omar (D-MN)?”

GrgB
Guest
GrgB

“Hey, you clowns just voided my mattress warranty. Somebody’s gonna pay for this!”

Jackie Puppet
Member
Jackie Puppet

Black Lives Mattress!!

Alma
Member
Alma

Jackie, jackpot,

wandafish
Guest
wandafish

Illegal migrant to human trafficker: “Give me liberty or give me bed”!

greenworxx
Guest
greenworxx

A flesh eating zombie comes back to life after his mattress coffin is opened. Watch out!……don’t let him bite you!

silhouette
Guest
silhouette

Oh, Hey, is breakfast ready??

AltRightApostle
Guest
AltRightApostle

Never buy any mattresses made in Somalia; It’s buy one, get one free.

GregB
Guest
GregB

AltRightApostle, what you said about BOGOF is true even more than you probably thought. There were actually two mattresses on top of the car attempting to smuggle them in, each with an illegal “immigrant” hiding in them. FOTM’s caption post photo only shows one of them, but there was actually two. See here for more details and video:

https://www.msn.com/en-sg/news/world/migrants-discovered-hidden-in-mattresses/ar-BBREOfH

AltRightApostle
Guest
AltRightApostle

Ilhan Omar’s long lost brother/future husband.

wandafish
Guest
wandafish

A stowaway bed!

Steven Broiles
Member

PRAISE GOD! I CAN CRAWL AGAIN!!!

kjf
Guest
kjf

I thought this was a Emma Sulkowicz’s “Carry That Weight” event

Rocky
Guest
Rocky

“Come on man! It’s Spain and I’m taking my siesta.”

bob
Guest
bob

Secret of Magic fingers mattress finally revealed !

Tih
Guest
Tih

Peekaboo!

nofooksgiven
Guest
nofooksgiven

Well we didn’t quite make it but if you enjoyed this week’s challenge don’t forget to subscribe to our YouTube channel “Somalian Selfies with Merkel”

Mickjt
Guest
Mickjt

Hey, I’m not trying to sneak into the country, they told me if I laid down in this sarcophagus I would live forever! Thank you for waking me up!

Paladin
Guest

So, this is how Alexandria Ocasio Cortez got into our country, as well.

That One
Guest
That One

Oh, look! It’s a real live Sardine in the can!

Paladin
Guest

Attention Mike Lindell!-Attention Mike Lindell!

DCG
Admin

OK, that’s a good one!

Dodocrat City
Guest
Dodocrat City

What makes you think Kamala Harris is in here?

Kingsville
Guest
Kingsville

Darned mattress feels lumpy…

silhouette
Guest
silhouette

Wow, you guys running those knives all around scared the stuffings out of me.

Sure As Day
Guest
Sure As Day

“I think Democrats are hiding votes in here. Let’s check to be sure.”

Pat
Guest
Pat

SOILED MATTRESSES MATTER!

CalGirl
Guest
CalGirl

EGADS! I didn’t know when I donated my old mattress to the GoodWill that they restuffed it with illegals!