The Facebook cyborg Caption Contest

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After being so rudely interrupted by most-despicable and cursed WordPress’ take-down of the old Fellowship of the Minds on August 15, we are resuming our caption contests!

This is the 182nd world-famous FOTM Caption Contest!

Here’s the pic (h/t SunaJAeon):

You know the drill:

  • Enter the contest by submitting your caption as a comment on this thread (scroll down until you see the “LEAVE A REPLY” box), not via email or on Facebook.
  • The winner of the Caption Contest will get a gorgeous Award Certificate of Excellence and a year’s free subscription to FOTM:D
  • FOTM writers will vote for the winner.
  • Any captions proffered by FOTM writers, no matter how brilliant (ha ha), will not be considered. :(

This contest will be closed in a week, at the end of next Tuesday, September 4, 2018.

To get the contest going, here’s my caption:

Uncle Joe whispers new instructions to CIA android Mark Zuckerberg.


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59 responses to “The Facebook cyborg Caption Contest

  1. Welcome young Zuckerberg. Your training is almost completed, and then you will call us………your masters!

  2. Joe Biden whispers into Zuckerberg’s ear, “I would enjoy whispering sweet nothings into your ear more if you were a 9 year old girl.”

  3. “Look here, see, these new robots run on lizard saliva. I will show you.”

  4. “Mark, I am looking forward to meeting your two beautiful daughters , ugh.. I mean your family.. You should come visit us soon.”

  5. Last night was really special for both of us.

  6. You’re a bit old and not my usual taste, but I will make an exception due to those lovely black eyes. (queue the tongue flick and reptile eye flicker)

  7. Ummm, you smell like an eleven year old girl . . .

  8. Joe Biden programming his demon-possessed robot.

  9. Afterwards, we will play hide the sausage.

  10. I told you that vibrating seat cushion would make you relax.

    Maybe we could go for a ride in my van and look for my lost puppy.

    Let’s play a game I call ‘Funny Uncle’.

    Let me show you what barrack means when he says ‘more flexibility’.

    Psst.. I heard they’re having a caption contest about us on Fellowship of the Minds.

  11. Zuckie Baby, remember our date later, I’m HOT for you!

  12. You don’t listen. A blue tie. Really?

  13. Hey Marky, here is a little kiss on the ear for luck.

  14. When getting a rectal exam for prostrate cancer, remember that you should only feel one hand on your shoulder.


  15. ” I know where you live.”

  16. “Don’t move, my tongue is stuck in your ear”.

  17. Hmm, mark, i loved being your goy toy last night

  18. “If you don’t give me what I want I have my other hand on your power cord”.

  19. ”I apologize for touching you. I thought you were a little girl.”

  20. ”Just remind them you invented it as a dating site to rate girls and the CIA did the rest.”

  21. ”Pretend I’m talking to you while I twist the knob on your back.”

  22. “You’re wearing that pineapple cologne I gave you. Naughty, naughty.”

  23. Patrick Cornell

    Remember, it is very important that you make the check out to my son, that way I can release my finances should anybody ask!

  24. Captain America

    My Precious! Such a pretty little girl. Nom, nom, nom…

  25. Just go into program mode.. you’ll do fine…

  26. Too funny!

  27. “…I’m bi…”

  28. Marky, I can still smell your baby powder…

  29. “You look just like my sex doll, only phonier”.

  30. MMMMMMmmmmmmm-You smell just like a little ten year old blonde girl….

  31. “Mark, I am your father, Lucifer! Submit to my will and I will give you the Kingdom you desire!” (in the voice of Star Wars’ Darth Vader)

  32. Patrick Cornell

    Six figures pronto or say hello to tech company regulations.

  33. Do you remember what happened, when you were blind folded at the initiation ? It was me !

  34. Tell them that if they feel threatened, just shoot a shotgun out the door. It worked for me.

  35. “Madam Tussauds called. She needs you back at the museum”.

  36. Kevin J Lankford

    And biden whispers in his sexiest yet nerve grating voice,”let me be the first to welcome you to the ‘swamp’, though I am sure you already know every one here, whether they know it or not”.

  37. If I blow in your ear, will you tell me you love me?

  38. Mmm, you smell like conservative suppression and burnt electronics. My favorite scent!

  39. Defiant America

    This one will be the winner: Joe Biden Whispers in Mark Zuckerberg’s ear.

  40. Your new programming ‘trigger word’ is ALGORITHM.

  41. Joe – get your tongue out of my ear.

  42. Uncle Joe thinking, “I wish they would put the blow up doll’s nozzle in a more convenient place…”

  43. Catherine Bedford

    SWAK-sealed with a kiss

  44. What a contrast;
    The so-called ‘brightest’ in America listening to the dumbest in America.

  45. Pray without ceasing

    “If you don’t scrub the mounting photo evidence I am indeed a sick, deranged, entitled abuser of young, innocent souls while sanctioned by the rest of the mainstream media, I have three words… “Clinton Body Count.”

  46. “Hey…as I’ve said before to my boss….your duping of the American Public has (likewise) been a “big fucking deal.”

    (please note FTOM readers…these were Biden’s words…quoted from a comment to Obama about the passage of Obamacare….NOT MY VULGAR words…..but, applicable to this posting, nonetheless.)

  47. Forget the First Amendment, deplatform them all and remind everyone Facebook is a private company!

  48. I’ve found the problem. His Energizer Bunny is dead.

  49. Please keep in mind as I whisper sweet nothings into your ear Marky, that nothing is what I truly have to offer.

  50. Organic Robotoid Mark V, I have a Gerbil that Michael Obama likes………..

    Michael & I
    Organic Robotoids by the First “Conspiracy Theorist” Dr Peter Beter

  51. That tie makes you look so grown up, Mark.

  52. No dating boys until you’re 30!

  53. Sir, the dumb effers have rebelled!

  54. Joe, I TOLD you–no tongue!

  55. Your fly is open.


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