The ‘Expose Your Vulva!’ Caption Contest

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This is the 183rd world-famous FOTM Caption Contest!

Here’s the pic:

About the pic: See “The devolution of feminism: Raise the skirt to expose your vulva!“.

You know the drill:

  • Enter the contest by submitting your caption as a comment on this thread (scroll down until you see the “LEAVE A REPLY” box), not via email or on Facebook.
  • The winner of the Caption Contest will get a gorgeous Award Certificate of Excellence and a year’s free subscription to FOTM:D
  • FOTM writers will vote for the winner.
  • Any captions proffered by FOTM writers, no matter how brilliant (ha ha), will not be considered. :(

This contest will be closed in a week, at the end of next Tuesday, September 18, 2018.

To get the contest going, here’s my caption:

A blind man passing by the open window thought he had blundered into a fish market.

For the winner of our last Caption Contest, go here.


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60 responses to “The ‘Expose Your Vulva!’ Caption Contest

  1. Women auditioning for a singing and partially nude part in an upcoming NY play.

  2. Touch it, touch it, someone please touch it!!!

  3. Stray kittens need loving home

  4. In appreciation of Transgender Awareness Day.

  5. Pie hole say what?

  6. Will somebody PLEASE bring us a gallon or two of crab treatment?

  7. Rapefugees welcome!

  8. Modern Day Coven of Witches Attempting A Peculiar Sexual Ceremony in Their Magic Circle

    (the truth is pitiful enough… no need to make fun of them, they will do it for us)

  9. Bill Cosby; “So this is what a Drug Free Zone looks like.”

  10. Bill Clinton; “Sorry ladies, But No Cigar!”

  11. Tryouts for the Mt. Holyoke cheerleading squad.

  12. And the lady in the front screams…”some body hurry and light a match”.

  13. “The horror! The horror!” (Apocalypse Now)

  14. “In our circle we don’t get crabs, we get lobsters!”

  15. “Has anybody seen my lighter? It was there on the bar stool a minute ago”.

  16. After meeting with Hillary, her election volunteers were struck by a severe outbreak of crabs.


  18. Did that Cyclops just wink at me?

  19. Imagine a world with no men.

  20. This is the alternative Planned Parenthood. Here, you come in after sex with a man, strip off the cooter coverings, and scream……….” I am getting out my inner SEMEN” Seems to not reduce the pregnancy rate, but they sure like doing this.

  21. Caption: “A gathering of meowing cats”.

  22. The Gates of Hell have opened, loosing all its demons for one last go around.

  23. Frankly, my 65-year-old body looks damn good in comparison.

  24. Applicants for janitorial jobs at the Clinton Presidential Library in Little Rock, Arkansas, demonstrate their skill qualifications.

  25. Feminazis trying out for the North American counterpart of the Pussy Riot band

  26. New Chemical Free Birth Control found to be 100% effective

  27. Demonic witches illegally occupied a Volvo car showroom and loudly demanded they change the brand name to Vu*v@

  28. Sadly there’s more than one bint without a hint of morality.

  29. Oh, the smell,,, the smell!!! Are you sure that’s your front hole???

  30. The fantom panty bandit has struck again!

  31. Oh that smell
    Can’t you smell that smell
    Oh that smell

  32. “Please, Mr. Trump, come grab us by the P§#$y.”

  33. You’ll never be able to unsee this!!

  34. Shatter-proof glasses required for viewing!

  35. Who put hot sauce on the hot dogs?

  36. Lunchtime at Hillary’s!!

  37. This is what happens when psychotic women run out of douche.

  38. Not a circle jerk, just jerks in a circle.

  39. If you’re happy and you know it, flash your puss!!

  40. Checkout the merchandise before you buy. A new marketing strategy for brothels

  41. Bill Clinton: “I’m smitten with your kitten”.

  42. Crackerbaby's russian bot

    Whooooaaaaa! Smell THAT?

  43. And then she says, “my momma told me,…as long as I have one of these,…I can get all of those I want.

  44. I guess I misunderstood. I thought it was going to be a car advertisement for the 2019 Volvo!

  45. NASA claims one of these is at the center of our galaxy.

  46. Please, Mrs. Clinton, come and join us!

  47. REEEEEEEEEEE!!!! That holy water BURNS!!

  48. Hey Trump, grab THIS!!

  49. I am woman, hear me roar.

  50. Noooooo! Hillary lied to us! She said circumcision wouldn’t hurt!

  51. Obviously auditioning for an open spot in the Russian girl band Pussy Riot.


    Sept. 19, 2018


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