The Mysterious Case of Weiner's Weiner

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UPDATE (6.8.11): A pic of Weiner’s naked erect weiner that he’d sent to a gal pal was published online today. The New York Post reports that Andrew Breitbart, the conservative blogger, had a copy of the photo and showed the photo to Sirus XM shock jocks Opie and Anthony during an appearance this morning. Breitbart would not publish the photo on his website BigGovernment.com, but the two radio DJs took a snapshot of the penis pic, which was published on Gawker.com.
I think I can safely say that this is a first — the first time that the American people can say they’ve actually seen the member of a member of Congress. What a sorry day for our Republic….

Last Friday, a lewd photo was sent to a 21-year-old female college student, Gennette Cordova, from liberal Congressman Anthony Weiner’s (D-NY) Twitter account. The photo is a closeup shot of a tumescent small penis inside a man’s dingy-grey underwear. Though addressed to Cordova, the photo was visible to Weiner’s 40,000 Twitter followers.
Weiner immediately denied he had sent it, saying that his Twitter account was hacked.
Not wanting to post a hoax or an untruth, Fellowship of the Minds decided not to post about Weiner’s weiner tweet because of the conflicting accounts.
Today, however, it’s looking more and more likely that the Democratic Congressman had sent that pic.
After spending days avoiding answering questions from the press, today Weiner would not deny that the weiner photo was of himself. When CNN’s Wolf Blitzer asked the lawmaker if he has ever taken a picture “like this” of himself, Weiner didn’t provide an outright denial. “I can tell you this. There are… I have photographs. I don’t know what photographs are out there in the world of me. I don’t know what things have been manipulated and doctored. And we’re going to try to find out what happened.”
I just received this news tip from our beloved Tina. Once again, Ann Coulter has hit one right out of the ballpark.  LOL
H/t also the brilliant political artist BKeyser who first alerted FOTM to the Great Small Weiner Caper.
~Eowyn

The puny Anthony Weiner

Weiner’s Penis Photo Dispute To Be Settled In Small Claims Court

by Ann Coulter -Human Events – June 1, 2011
Sometimes I wonder if Rep. Anthony Weiner, D-N.Y., is too nice for his own good.
An evil swine hacks into Weiner’s Twitter account and posts an embarrassing photo of spindly legs topped by a small erect penis draped in dingy gray briefs no male over the age of 11 would wear — and Anthony just wants to forget the whole thing!
Instead of angrily demanding an investigation like anyone else would, Anthony has gone all St. Francis of Assisi on us.
He doesn’t want an investigation! How big-hearted is that? Talk about a forgiving nature! He’s almost too magnanimous. I wish I had that kind of forbearance.
Maybe he’s ready to live and let live, but speaking as one of Anthony’s biggest Twitter followers, I am not. Otherwise, Weiner’s hacker is just going to go out and hack and hack again.
So while I admire Anthony’s selfless refusal to be “distracted” by this issue, I would urge him to reconsider.
Only a full and complete investigation will show that he had absolutely nothing to do with that humiliating photo of the tiny stub of a male organ sent to a 21-year-old coed from his Twitter address last Friday night.
Anthony needs to remember that hacking is a serious crime. In fact, there probably will have to be a federal investigation whether or not our gentle Anthony requests one.
Another example of Anthony’s amazing forbearance is how he has not retaliated against CNN for its malicious editing of Weiner’s press conference on Tuesday.
CNN obviously sabotaged the tape to make it look as if he was refusing to answer the simplest, most direct questions. (I confess I did not see the entire conference live; I was too busy sending private messages to the hundreds of college coeds I follow on Twitter, just like Anthony.)
Through sheer trickery, CNN made it appear as if Anthony kept lurching back to the same irrelevant story about a heckler in an audience of 45,000 people.
Anyone could see there was something off about the video because no matter what reporters asked him, CNN kept looping back to that clip of Anthony telling his long, pointless parable about a heckler in an audience and how he’d respond and then demanding that he be allowed to finish, when he obviously had already finished.
This falsely suggested that he was stonewalling reporters. Perhaps the CNN tape was hacked, too.
It’s time for Anthony to stand up for himself, if you’ll pardon the expres — Hey, wait a minute! Now my column is being hacked!!! — and demand an investigation of both the hacker and CNN.
You don’t need to apologize for anything, congressman. Your only problem is, you’re just too damn nice.
But knowing Anthony, he’ll probably forgive CNN. There’s a reason why, year in and year out, Anthony Weiner has been voted Congress’ most forgiving person.
I try to be a good Christian, but it took Anthony Weiner to show me what true mercy is. I salute you, congressman! …
The preceding several paragraphs are what we call “irony,” i.e. saying one thing while meaning the opposite.
What I meant to say is: OF COURSE ANTHONY WEINER DOESN’T WANT AN INVESTIGATION BECAUSE IT WOULD SHOW THAT HE HIMSELF POSTED THE PHOTO OF HIS SMALL ERECT PENIS.
The reason the congressman is so eager to forgive the hacker is that there is no hacker. He cannot have an investigation for the simple reason that it will show that he posted the photograph himself.
In a panic when he saw he had hit the wrong button and sent a private tweet of his pecker to his entire Twitter following, Weiner blurted out the hacker defense, quickly typing: “FB hacked. Is my blender gonna attack me next?”
Unfortunately, there was no lawyer in the room to tell him: “Don’t say that! They’ll have to investigate!”
On Sunday, his staff followed up with a press release, saying: “Anthony’s accounts were obviously hacked.”
So he can’t now claim he didn’t say it.
After hiring a lawyer, Weiner quickly backpedaled from the “hacker” claim and began insisting, in another press release: “This was a prank. We are loath to treat it as more.”
If it was a prank, then why did he hire a lawyer?
Weiner isn’t a celebrity: He’s a CONGRESSMAN. Whoever can hack into his Twitter account may be able to hack into other congressmen’s accounts — or into Weiner’s briefing files from, say, the Department of Defense.
(Indeed, unless the alleged hacker is arrested, who knows how many Anthony Weiner penis shots could start circulating on Twitter?)
But when one of Weiner’s colleagues, Rep. Cliff Stearns, R-Fla., requested a congressional investigation into cybersecurity based on Weiner’s self-proclaimed computer attack on his Twitter account, Weiner denounced and insulted Stearns.
The best Weiner can do now is try to take his utterly humiliating penis photo out of the realm of criminal law by eliding “hacked” into “pranked.” Legally, it’s not clear what the difference is.
He’s stuck angrily announcing that he wants to move on, there’s important work to be done, and calling a CNN reporter a “jackass” merely for asking if Weiner sent the penis photo or not.
For a guy who’s suddenly taking the position that this was all just a harmless prank, he seemed pretty bent out of shape at that CNN press conference. If that condition persists for more than four hours, congressman, consult your doctor.

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0 responses to “The Mysterious Case of Weiner's Weiner

  1. haha…love Ann’s closing!
    Weiner is an idiot…

     
  2. I am still laughing,NO ONE DESERVES IT MORE!!! Weiner’s photo to be decided in SMALL {keyword} claims court. They said his wife is Hillary Clintons vallet. Heard this on Rush,the question of the day,was are the taxpayers sporting a vallet for Hill??????? probably.

     
  3. I always thought his name was just soooo appropriate.

     
  4. LOL I always knew he was a weenie.

     
  5. just found something hilarious-what if Weiner ran for President with Eric Holder as VP. ????????

     
    • Or Holder as P and Weiner as VP, as in “2012, Hold a Weiner!” LOL
      Tina, now you’ve done it. You’ve opened the floodgates to, I hope, an unending hilarious stream of proposed Weiner running mates! LOL

       
    • How about a Weiner-Inouye ticket? Or a Harry (Reid) – Weiner ticket? Or a Patty (Murray) – Weiner ticket? Or a Weiner-(Jon) Tester ticket? Or a very redundant Weiner-Dick (Durbin) ticket? Or a Weiner-in a-(Barbara) Boxer ticket?
      Somebody please stop me !!!!

       
  6. sorry,I haven’t laughed so hard in a while! can’t stop.

     
  7. Alright,you guys,can’t see either,just saw the pic above,can’t breathe.

     
  8. lowtechgrannie

    Tweeting your Weiner I do not advise
    It’s rude, crude and stupid, a word to the wise.
    It’s alarming, not charming so zip up your fly
    Man up, Anthony! And try not to cry.

     
    • Sure to be Weiner’s epitaph:
      That this little man succeeded, willy nilly, in inspiring such creativity was his greatest achievement as Congressman.

       
  9. Food For Thought: Why do the biggest dicks always have a small one?
    Weiner is truly a tool. Any adult man worth his salt would strongly deny that shortcoming in grey briefs.

     
  10. Rep.weiner a want to be dick is nothing more than a penis wrinkle!

     
  11. The moderator will probably ban me for this one, but I heard a good one.”If it’s not Anthony’s weiner, it must be Barney’s frank.”

     
  12. Arthur Anderson

    He could have kept stonewalling and maybe bluffed his way out of it, we certainly have seen that from our politicians before. But all of a sudden he changed course, and somehow I don’t think it was the sudden discovery of a pool of latent integrity…MY guess, from a very, very old brain, is that he is involved in some other much more serious scandal or crime and the other people involved with him forced him to confess to try to preempt a deeper investigation that might expose them all……

     

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