The Texting-While-Being-Shot Caption Contest

This is the 196th world-famous FOTM Caption Contest!

Here’s the pic:

About the pic: New Zealand mosque shootings’ “hero dad” Zulfirman Syah texting during what appears to be a rehearsal video. Read about it here.

You know the drill:

  • Enter the contest by submitting your caption as a comment on this thread (scroll down until you see the “LEAVE A REPLY” box).
  • The winner of the Caption Contest will get a gorgeous Award Certificate of Excellence and a year’s free subscription to FOTM:D
  • FOTM writers will vote for the winner.
  • Any captions proffered by FOTM writers, no matter how brilliant (ha ha), will not be considered. :(

This contest will be closed in a week, at the end of next Tuesday, March 26, 2019.

To get the contest going, here’s my caption:

Zulfirman texts his best bud Mohammad: “كونه فاعل الأزمة بالتأكيد يدق العمل فعلا من أجل لقمة العيش  (Translation: Being a crisis actor sure beats actually working for a living!)”

For the winner of our last Caption Contest, go here.

~Eowyn

Better than Drudge Report. Check out Whatfinger News, the Internet’s conservative frontpage founded by ex-military!

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Dr. EowynKevin J LankfordJeanine DeSantisCarlo Bongiornohello Recent comment authors

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Jackie Puppet
Member
Jackie Puppet

What’s for dinner?

 
marblenecltr
Guest

Don’t accept Wolfgang Halbig’s passport!

 
GregB
Guest
GregB

(Calling David Hogg) – “Hey bro, can you hear me now? Tell me again. How much did you say you got paid for your role?”

 
Andy
Guest
Andy

One last tweet before I died!

 
Auntie Lulu
Guest
Auntie Lulu

It’s amazing . . . some folks just cannot give up their social media devices–even when they are dying!

 
Alma
Guest
Alma

Where’s the bucket with the red ink?

 
chemtrailssuck
Guest
chemtrailssuck

“Honey, I have to rehearse for the crisis shooting now, so I’ll let you know when I’ll be home, m’kay? Oh, and make sure to see if George Soros mailed me my check.”

 
SMKay
Guest
SMKay

The moment you realize you are addicted to Candy Crush…

 
Lophatt
Member
Lophatt

“I have to call my agent. I get double if I have a part with a kid”.

 
Manuel Antonio
Guest
Manuel Antonio

When calling Uber goes horribly wrong!

 
Spaulding
Guest

“Smollett, if you have not been arrested yet and you are up for a freelance… Do you like kiwi?”

 
Brian Heinz
Guest
Brian Heinz

Texting in a global crisis to advance gun control, a leftist dream. Getting paid to do it, PRICELESS. Can I get a selfie before I die?

 
Captain America
Guest
Captain America

Hold on, killer. I’m getting a text.

 
True Dan
Guest
True Dan

Watch. This is how a dead man sends a text.

 
hujonwi
Guest
hujonwi

I hope nobody notices this or George will dock my pay…

 
Watertender
Guest
Watertender

Abdul, if the guy uses real bullets by mistake and I meet Allah I bequeath you my favorite goat. Hump her with vigor!

 
Sitting On The Dock Of The Bay Unarmed Waiting For The Enemy To Arrive
Guest
Sitting On The Dock Of The Bay Unarmed Waiting For The Enemy To Arrive

Text reads: “We’re all betting a ban will be announced within a few days. Each of us has it down to the minute now instead of months as before. The pot is up to $7,344.00. Director says we did good. On to the next one. “

 
William
Member
William

Hmm, no likes. I might as well just die in a mass shooting

 
Nsump756
Guest
Nsump756

When you have a false flag at 7, but should have been out for dinner with the wife at 6.

 
znuthaus
Guest

“beam me up Scotty!!!!!”

 
Johnny Walker Read
Guest
Johnny Walker Read

Now I lay me down to Tweet
I pray the lord no one will see.
And if I die before “take one”
Please hide the fact that I am SCUM

 
MoFrappy
Guest
MoFrappy

Typing on WebMD: “What are the symptoms of being shot in the head?”

 
silhouette
Guest
silhouette

….Yeah, make it a family size combo, we’re going on break here in a few minutes.

 
TrailDust
Admin

Can’t wait to read all the captions for this one. 😀

 
JonS
Guest
JonS

Sorry hon, can’t txt right now. I’m fake dying 🙂

 
ireAmerica
Guest
ireAmerica

I’ll be home late, Mo screwed-up the scene again, we had to do another couple of takes.

 
Lophatt
Member
Lophatt

“Can you hear me now? Damn, we’re on cut seventeen and that idiot director’s never satisfied. Yeah, I’ll pick up a loaf on the way home if we ever get finished. I’ve got stage blood all over my jacket!”.

 
YouKnowWho
Guest
YouKnowWho

Does anybody know how to get this thing off of selfie mode?

 
Zigggy
Guest
Zigggy

What time is it now, and how long am I supposed to lay here?

 
Brian Heinz
Guest
Brian Heinz

Ok, the office just texted us. They said once we’re done here to head over to the Western Union to pick up our checks and the next assignment. Guess soreass’s check cleared the bank. Come on folks let’s wrap this up and get paid!

 
Lou Minati
Guest
Lou Minati

“Hi Achmed! I’m sorry, but it looks like I’m not going to make our tee time.”

 
James Cook
Guest

I wonder if Dominos will deliver during a False Flag?

 
Lophatt
Member
Lophatt

“I’d like a ham sandwich and a bottle of Mad Dog. Yes, that’s right, the mosque”.

 
Larry
Guest
Larry

Jimmy John’s- I want a Double Ham with Provolone and take your time

 
Discuss Disgust
Guest
Discuss Disgust

I’m busy right now perpetrating a false flag!
I’ll get back to you after I’m done dying.

 
John Gallagher
Guest
John Gallagher

Wow, that bullet proof ap download saved us all

 
Hawkmoon
Guest
Hawkmoon

” I went from being a fake Judeo-Muslim atrocity victim in Bosnia & Kosovo, paid by NATO, to being a gun control false flag victim in New Zealand, how cool is that!”

 
pigpen51
Guest
pigpen51

Do you believe that stupid director? I told him that my good side was used in Las Vegas, but do you think he would listen to me?

 
hello
Guest
hello

“Can you shoot me now?”

 
Carlo Bongiorno
Guest
Carlo Bongiorno

Hey Honey, I’m about to send you another text saying I’ve been shot and I love you, just like the cellphone call during 911. We should have the money wired to us by the end of the day. I’ll meet you at our rendezvous point in 30 days as planned.

 
Jeanine DeSantis
Guest
Jeanine DeSantis

Better send a group text to my friends & family to let em know I’m dead

 
Jeanine DeSantis
Guest
Jeanine DeSantis

Hey…where’s my 70 black-eyed virgins? I was duped!!

 
Lophatt
Member
Lophatt

“Oh hi Fred. Musta butt-dialed you after I was shot. I’ll call you back”.

 
Kevin Lankford
Member
Kevin Lankford

Don’t worry mama,…He ain’t got no bullets,….I mean,..no bullet with my name on it.