The Texting-While-Being-Shot Caption Contest

This is the 196th world-famous FOTM Caption Contest!

Here’s the pic:

About the pic: New Zealand mosque shootings’ “hero dad” Zulfirman Syah texting during what appears to be a rehearsal video. Read about it here.

You know the drill:

  • Enter the contest by submitting your caption as a comment on this thread (scroll down until you see the “LEAVE A REPLY” box).
  • The winner of the Caption Contest will get a gorgeous Award Certificate of Excellence and a year’s free subscription to FOTM:D
  • FOTM writers will vote for the winner.
  • Any captions proffered by FOTM writers, no matter how brilliant (ha ha), will not be considered. :(

This contest will be closed in a week, at the end of next Tuesday, March 26, 2019.

To get the contest going, here’s my caption:

Zulfirman texts his best bud Mohammad: “كونه فاعل الأزمة بالتأكيد يدق العمل فعلا من أجل لقمة العيش  (Translation: Being a crisis actor sure beats actually working for a living!)”

For the winner of our last Caption Contest, go here.

~Eowyn

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Jackie Puppet
Jackie Puppet
1 year ago

What’s for dinner?

marblenecltr
1 year ago

Don’t accept Wolfgang Halbig’s passport!

GregB
GregB
1 year ago

(Calling David Hogg) – “Hey bro, can you hear me now? Tell me again. How much did you say you got paid for your role?”

Andy
Andy
1 year ago

One last tweet before I died!

Auntie Lulu
Auntie Lulu
1 year ago

It’s amazing . . . some folks just cannot give up their social media devices–even when they are dying!

chemtrailssuck
chemtrailssuck
1 year ago
Reply to  Auntie Lulu

Well, they aren’t really dying, of course… 😉

Alma
Alma
1 year ago

Where’s the bucket with the red ink?

chemtrailssuck
chemtrailssuck
1 year ago

“Honey, I have to rehearse for the crisis shooting now, so I’ll let you know when I’ll be home, m’kay? Oh, and make sure to see if George Soros mailed me my check.”

SMKay
SMKay
1 year ago

The moment you realize you are addicted to Candy Crush…

Lophatt
Lophatt
1 year ago

“I have to call my agent. I get double if I have a part with a kid”.

Dennis Durston
1 year ago
Reply to  Lophatt

Hey hon’, are the wipes in the car?? I think the baby crapped his pants…

Manuel Antonio
Manuel Antonio
1 year ago

When calling Uber goes horribly wrong!

Spaulding
1 year ago

“Smollett, if you have not been arrested yet and you are up for a freelance… Do you like kiwi?”

Brian Heinz
Brian Heinz
1 year ago

Texting in a global crisis to advance gun control, a leftist dream. Getting paid to do it, PRICELESS. Can I get a selfie before I die?

Captain America
Captain America
1 year ago

Hold on, killer. I’m getting a text.

True Dan
True Dan
1 year ago

Watch. This is how a dead man sends a text.

hujonwi
hujonwi
1 year ago

I hope nobody notices this or George will dock my pay…

Watertender
Watertender
1 year ago

Abdul, if the guy uses real bullets by mistake and I meet Allah I bequeath you my favorite goat. Hump her with vigor!

Sitting On The Dock Of The Bay Unarmed Waiting For The Enemy To Arrive
Sitting On The Dock Of The Bay Unarmed Waiting For The Enemy To Arrive
1 year ago

Text reads: “We’re all betting a ban will be announced within a few days. Each of us has it down to the minute now instead of months as before. The pot is up to $7,344.00. Director says we did good. On to the next one. “

William
William
1 year ago

Hmm, no likes. I might as well just die in a mass shooting

Nsump756
Nsump756
1 year ago

When you have a false flag at 7, but should have been out for dinner with the wife at 6.

znuthaus
1 year ago

“beam me up Scotty!!!!!”

Johnny Walker Read
Johnny Walker Read
1 year ago

Now I lay me down to Tweet
I pray the lord no one will see.
And if I die before “take one”
Please hide the fact that I am SCUM

MoFrappy
MoFrappy
1 year ago

Typing on WebMD: “What are the symptoms of being shot in the head?”

William
William
1 year ago
Reply to  MoFrappy

haha. A: Severe headache along with a compulsive need to text

silhouette
silhouette
1 year ago

….Yeah, make it a family size combo, we’re going on break here in a few minutes.

TrailDust
Admin
1 year ago

Can’t wait to read all the captions for this one. 😀

JonS
JonS
1 year ago

Sorry hon, can’t txt right now. I’m fake dying 🙂

ireAmerica
ireAmerica
1 year ago

I’ll be home late, Mo screwed-up the scene again, we had to do another couple of takes.

Lophatt
Lophatt
1 year ago

“Can you hear me now? Damn, we’re on cut seventeen and that idiot director’s never satisfied. Yeah, I’ll pick up a loaf on the way home if we ever get finished. I’ve got stage blood all over my jacket!”.

YouKnowWho
YouKnowWho
1 year ago

Does anybody know how to get this thing off of selfie mode?

Zigggy
Zigggy
1 year ago

What time is it now, and how long am I supposed to lay here?

Brian Heinz
Brian Heinz
1 year ago

Ok, the office just texted us. They said once we’re done here to head over to the Western Union to pick up our checks and the next assignment. Guess soreass’s check cleared the bank. Come on folks let’s wrap this up and get paid!

Lou Minati
Lou Minati
1 year ago

“Hi Achmed! I’m sorry, but it looks like I’m not going to make our tee time.”

James Cook
1 year ago

I wonder if Dominos will deliver during a False Flag?

Judy Amato
Judy Amato
1 year ago
Reply to  James Cook

“HI, I’d like to order a large pie, extra cheese and bacon….if I”m gonna die like an Infidel, I might as well eat like an Infidel!”

Lophatt
Lophatt
1 year ago

“I’d like a ham sandwich and a bottle of Mad Dog. Yes, that’s right, the mosque”.

Larry
Larry
1 year ago

Jimmy John’s- I want a Double Ham with Provolone and take your time

Discuss Disgust
Discuss Disgust
1 year ago

I’m busy right now perpetrating a false flag!
I’ll get back to you after I’m done dying.

John Gallagher
John Gallagher
1 year ago

Wow, that bullet proof ap download saved us all

Hawkmoon
Hawkmoon
1 year ago

” I went from being a fake Judeo-Muslim atrocity victim in Bosnia & Kosovo, paid by NATO, to being a gun control false flag victim in New Zealand, how cool is that!”

pigpen51
pigpen51
1 year ago

Do you believe that stupid director? I told him that my good side was used in Las Vegas, but do you think he would listen to me?

hello
hello
1 year ago

“Can you shoot me now?”

Carlo Bongiorno
Carlo Bongiorno
1 year ago

Hey Honey, I’m about to send you another text saying I’ve been shot and I love you, just like the cellphone call during 911. We should have the money wired to us by the end of the day. I’ll meet you at our rendezvous point in 30 days as planned.

Jeanine DeSantis
Jeanine DeSantis
1 year ago

Better send a group text to my friends & family to let em know I’m dead

Jeanine DeSantis
Jeanine DeSantis
1 year ago

Hey…where’s my 70 black-eyed virgins? I was duped!!

Lophatt
Lophatt
1 year ago

“Oh hi Fred. Musta butt-dialed you after I was shot. I’ll call you back”.

Kevin J Lankford
Kevin J Lankford
1 year ago

Don’t worry mama,…He ain’t got no bullets,….I mean,..no bullet with my name on it.

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[…] For all the other caption submissions, go here. […]