Tag Archives: toxic masculinity

Gillette goes woke with “The Best Men Can Be” campaign

Get woke, go broke.

Interested in Dollar Shave Club? Go here.

DCG

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American Psychological Association declares war on masculinity

For the first time, the American Psychological Association (APA) issued “guidelines” for psychologists in their treatment of men and boys — that traditional masculinity, defined as “stoicism, competitiveness, dominance and aggression,” is psychologically harmful.

Sweden’s Byggnads Construction Workers Union renounces toxic masculinity!

For decades, psychology focused on men (particularly white men), to the exclusion of all others. And men still dominate professionally and politically: As of 2018, 95.2 percent of chief operating officers at Fortune 500 companies were men. According to a 2017 analysis by Fortune, in 16 of the top companies, 80 percent of all high-ranking executives were male. Meanwhile, the 115th Congress, which began in 2017, was 81 percent male.

Next comes a litany of statistics pointing to the toxicity of being male:

  • Men commit 90% of homicides and represent 77% of homicide victims in the United States.
  • Men are 3.5 times more likely than women to die by suicide.
  • Men’s life expectancy is 4.9 years shorter than women’s.
  • Boys are far more likely to be diagnosed with attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder than girls.
  • Boys face harsher punishments in school—especially boys of color.

To compensate for pschology’s “androcentric past,” APA’s new Guidelines for Psychological Practice With Boys and Men, 13 years in making, draws on more than 40 years of research showing that traditional masculinity is psychologically harmful and that socializing boys to suppress their emotions causes both inward and outward damage. As Ronald F. Levant, EdD, a former APA president, professor emeritus of psychology at the University of Akron, and co-editor of the APA’s The Psychology of Men and Masculinities, puts it: “Though men benefit from patriarchy, they are also impinged upon by patriarchy.”

The new APA guidelines enumerate how “traditional masculinity” is “on the whole” harmful because men socialized this way are less likely to engage in healthy behaviors:

  1. A 2011 study led by Kristen Springer, PhD, of Rutgers University, found that men with the strongest beliefs about masculinity were only half as likely as men with more moderate masculine beliefs to get preventive health care (Journal of Health and Social Behavior, Vol. 52, No. 2).
  2. In 2007, researchers led by James Mahalik, PhD, of Boston College, found that the more men conformed to masculine norms, the more likely they were to consider as normal risky health behaviors such as heavy drinking, using tobacco and avoiding vegetables, and to engage in these risky behaviors themselves (Social Science and Medicine, Vol. 64, No. 11).
  3. Research led by Omar Yousaf, PhD, found that men who bought into traditional notions of masculinity were more negative about seeking mental health services than those with more flexible gender attitudes (Psychology of Men & Masculinity, Vol. 16, No. 2, 2015).
  4. Men are often reluctant to admit vulnerability, says Fredric Rabinowitz, PhD, a psychologist at the University of Redlands in California who has stewarded the new guidelines since 2005, when he was president of APA Div. 51 (Society for the Psychological Study of Men and Masculinities). Rabinowitz says: “Because of the way many men have been brought up—to be self-sufficient and able to take care of themselves—any sense that things aren’t OK needs to be kept secret. Part of what happens is men who keep things to themselves look outward and see that no one else is sharing any of the conflicts that they feel inside. That makes them feel isolated. They think they’re alone. They think they’re weak. They think they’re not OK. They don’t realize that other men are also harboring private thoughts and private emotions and private conflicts.”
  5. Though men report less depression than women, they complete suicide at far higher rates than women, and their suicides are increasing. The suicide rate for non-Hispanic American Indian and Alaska Native men jumped 38% between 1999 and 2014, according to data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention; for white men, suicide rates increased 28% in that time span (National Center for Health Statistics, 2016). Suicide rates for women have been on the rise as well, but because men complete suicide more often than women, men’s suicide death rates remain the highest.
  6. Military men are more vulnerable to depression when they retire: “When retirement comes, a lot of guys get thrown into an abyss,” Rabinowitz says, particularly for veterans who identified as workers and achievers (Health Services Research, Vol. 43. No. 2, 2008).
  7. The problems of non-white males are compounded by racism, homophobia and transphobia:
    • Men and boys of color may be viewed with suspicion by schools, law enforcement and others, leading to harsher punishments compared with white men and boys, says Christopher Liang, PhD, a psychologist at Lehigh University in Pennsylvania who helped draft the guidelines.
    • As of 2014, black men made up 37% of the male state and federal prison population and were more than 10 times as likely to be incarcerated in state or federal prison as white men. Hispanic men were also overrepresented, making up 22% of the prison population despite making up only about 8% of the general U.S. population (U.S. Department of Justice, 2015).
    • Boys and men who identify as gay, bisexual or transgender still face higher-than-­average levels of hostility and pressure to conform to masculine norms. The 2015 National School Climate Survey found that 85% of LGBTQ students reported verbal harassment at school over their sexual orientation or gender expression (GLSEN, 2015). Gender-­nonconforming students reported worse treatment than did LGBTQ kids who conformed with traditional gender norms.
    • A 2016 study of a community sample of transgender children led by Kristina Olson, PhD, of the University of Washington in Seattle, found that those with supportive families were no more likely than nontransgender children to have depression, and were only slightly more likely to experience anxiety (Pediatrics, Vol. 137, No. 3, 2016).

The APA Guidelines urge psychologists to encourage men to “break free of masculinity rules”; “discard the harmful ideologies of traditional masculinity (violence, sexism)”; “find flexibility in the potentially positive aspects (courage, leadership)”; and to be “adaptable, emotional and capable of engaging fully outside of rigid norms”.

APA approved

~Eowyn

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Singer John Mayer says we need a new “male contract” to get rid of toxic masculinity

John Mayer sounding the warning of toxic masculinity…

John Mayer is a 40-year-old American singer. He is not married and has no children.

John wants to tell you how to raise boys, including making sure that they know they are not entitled to every woman.

Mayer has a long list of ex-girlfriends and a reputation as a womanizer. Here’s a list of women he’s been entitled to (that we know of):

  • Katy Perry
  • Renee Zellweger
  • Taylor Swift
  • Kim Kardashian
  • Scheana Marie
  • Jennifer Aniston
  • Minka Kelly
  • Jessica Simpson
  • Rhona Mitra
  • Jennifer Love Hewitt
  • Vanessa Carlton
  • Cameron Diaz
  • Rashida Jones
  • Colbie Caillat
  • Mandy Moore

Typical Hollyweird hypocrite.

From TMZ: John Mayer wants to can the idea that men must be alpha males and take what they want — including women — and replace it with a new doctrine focused on respect and sensitivity.

The guitar-slinging crooner was doing a cancer benefit show at the Modell Performing Arts Center in Baltimore when he went off on a tangent about toxic masculinity, which he called a “bulls**t” alpha male contract that’s nailed into boys’ heads from a young age.

He says the sentiment that a man should get an erection at the sight of every woman he wants is crap. John added the so-called “trauma” men might feel when a woman turns them down … is something men just have to get over.

His new idea on how to raise boys … teach ’em that the world isn’t theirs, and they’re not definitely not entitled to every woman. It’s worth noting this rant came right after John performed “Daughters.”

He never calls him by name, but it’s pretty clear John’s referring to newly sworn-in Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh.

There was some awkward silence as he made his point, but eventual applause once he got it all out. He later apologized for talking about such a sensitive subject during the concert.

DCG

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Raised with no coping mechanisms: Majority of college students says they’re stressed, many report suicidal thoughts

Maybe kids have a problem with self-identity because choosing from 31 genders is exhausting.

Maybe not everyone should be given a participation trophy.

Maybe kids shouldn’t be glued to smartphones.

Maybe kids should lay off the social media platforms.

Maybe we should let boys be boys.

Maybe girls should know that today’s feminism really isn’t their friend.

Maybe we shouldn’t teach white children that they are responsible for every racist problem because of their skin color.

Maybe political correctness is stifling our children.

Maybe progressive “values” aren’t that healthy for our children.

From Yahoo (via GMA): Sending a child off to college is an immense accomplishment for parents, who can finally breathe a sigh of relief. But teens on campus find a vastly different view of what a college environment is like, including its demands and challenges. A new study supports this, finding that students are much more stressed than parents, or anyone else, might realize.

The study, published in the medical journal Depression and Anxiety, found that mounting expectations, an evolving sense of self-identity, and the typical shock of leaving home for a new place are making college students more vulnerable to mental health risks, including suicidality.

Anxiety and depression rates have been rising, according to the study, which found three out of every four college students reporting at least one stressful life event within the past year — involving everything from social relationships to personal appearance to problems with family. Twenty percent said they experienced greater than five stressful life events within that same time frame.

“College is very stressful in an alarming way. That’s important for parents to be aware of,” lead author of the study Cindy Liu, PhD, a psychologist at Brigham and Women’s Hospital, told ABC News.

Liu conducted the study by surveying over 67,000 college students from over 100 college campuses about their stress, anxiety and depression. They were also asked directly if they’d had suicidal thoughts or made attempts to harm themselves. One in five students said they had thought of suicide, while about one in 10 actually attempted it. Each of those statistics is more than double the national average for adults.

“Even if you have a student who is doing well in school, it doesn’t mean they aren’t dealing with something internally,” Liu said. “You have to peel back more layers. That is the real struggle for parents and colleges — identifying those students who are quietly enduring a significant mental health experience.”

The survey asked about 15 different types of mental health issues, ranging from anorexia to anxiety and panic attacks to addiction. Liu also highlighted one particularly nuanced strength of the study: it pinned down conflicts with self-identity. For example, those who identified as a sexual minority tended to have the highest rates of mental health diagnoses. Gay, lesbian, and bisexual students reported thoughts or actions related to killing themselves two to three times more often than heterosexual students. Transgender students, meanwhile, were among the highest in reported mental health diagnoses and suicidality.

Black and Hispanic students reported mental health diagnoses and self-harm at lower rates than whites; however, multiracial students were more likely to admit thoughts of suicide or previous attempts. These numbers are striking, but in reality, they could actually be worse than the study indicates, since stigmas surrounding sexual identity and mental health may have caused students to underreport their problems.

The findings add gravity to the well-known relationship between trauma, mental health, and suicide, and indicate that college, for some, is far from a carefree environment. It’s important that colleges and students realize the stress is real, and that they make adequate college-based mental health resources available.

For parents of college-bound students, these statistics are unsettling. They may indicate a greater need to pay attention to the mental health experiences of college students, especially when it comes to self-identity.

“Try to normalize the college experience and the stressors involved,” Liu said. “It is critical to think about their identity, and how that matters to their complete mental health experience.”

DCG

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Saturday funny: Colorado demorat candidate douses his eyes w/pepper spray to push for gun control


This is the type of people Obama had working for him.
About this fool, from Wikipedia:
“Levi Mills Tillemann-Dick is an American businessman, academic, and author. Currently managing partner at Valence Strategic, LLC and a fellow at the New America Foundation, he is also the author of the 2015 book, The Great Race: The Global Quest For The Car Of The Future (Simon and Schuster). Levi was also the lead author of the report Revolution Now, which he published while working in President Barack Obama‘s Department of Energy. After forming an exploratory committee in May 2017 to examine the feasibility of a congressional bid in Colorado’s 6th congressional district, Levi officially announced his candidacy in late June.”
Levi calls himself unapologetically progressive. To cure  gun violence, he wants to ban assault weapons, get “warfare” ammo off the street, address “toxic masculinity” and end global arms trade.
Ya got me Levi with this little stunt.  I’m surrendering all my firearms now after seeing that!
NOT.
h/t Twitchy
DCG

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Gavin Newsom addresses his affair in context of #MeToo era

gavin newsom sabo art
One little detail Newsom didn’t mention in his “#MeToo” moment: The woman Newsom had an affair with, Ruby Rippey-Tourk, was the wife of his friend and campaign manager, Alex Tourk.
From SF Gate: In the backdrop of the #MeToo movement, when several politicians have been routed from office for sexually inappropriate behavior from years ago, Lt. Gov. Gavin Newsom offered an answer for voters who might be hesitant to support him for governor because of a 2007 affair he had with a subordinate while he was mayor of San Francisco.
“I would say the same thing that I said (then) to the voters in San Francisco: that I acknowledged it. I apologized for it. I learned an enormous amount from it,” Newsom said Monday during an onstage interview at the University of San Francisco. “And I am every day trying to be a champion and a model — not just for women and girls — but to deal with the issue that we need to focus on, which is the crisis with men and boys in this state and in this country.” He described a culture of “toxic masculinity” where men are responsible for much of the violence in the nation.
In 2007, Newsom — who was then separated from his first wife, Kimberly Guilfoyle — publicly apologized for having a consensual affair with Ruby Rippey-Tourk, who was then his commission appointments secretary.
A subsequent City Attorney’s Office report into whether it was proper for Rippey-Tourk to receive $10,154 in “catastrophic illness pay” from the city after she left her job after the affair, uncovered nothing illegal, but raised questions about whether she should have been eligible for the payments. According to the report, the pay was based on her acceptance into the city’s Catastrophic Illness Program, or CIP.
The report said it is supposed to be offered to employees with “a life-threatening illness or injury, as determined by the Department of Public Health” to “reduce hardship and suffering of catastrophically ill city employees.” The report questioned whether Rippey-Tourk, who took leave from City Hall in May 2006 to enter a substance abuse program, should have been eligible for that program.
Newsom was speaking Thursday at the University of San Francisco as part of the university’s series of one-on-one interviews with the top gubernatorial candidates co-sponsored by Politico and the school’s Leo T. McCarthy Center for Public Service and the Common Good.
Asked by Politico’s Carla Marinucci, who conducted the interview, whether he had any similar transgressions since that time, Newsom said, “Of course not.”
He applauded the courage of the women who have publicly called out inappropriate sexual behavior in Sacramento.
Last week, the state Senate and Assembly released documents revealing 20 substantiated complaints of sexual harassment or inappropriate behavior against lawmakers or high-level legislative staffers over the past 12 years. They included cases against six current and former elected officials, including one of Newsom’s gubernatorial candidate rivals — Assemblyman Travis Allen, R-Huntington Beach (Orange County). Allen was found to have routinely gotten “unnecessarily close” to one female staffer in 2013, including sitting close to her while sliding his foot to touch hers.
In a statement, Allen said, “There has never been anything in any of my actions that has been inappropriate, and nor will there ever be.”
On policy, Newsom said Monday that he would make addressing homelessness a focus of his governorship and outlined several ways he would address the problem, including appointing a statewide homeless czar (Hey Newsom: See Seattle and how well that idea has worked for them).
That leadership has been lacking for decades in California,” Newsom said. “There has been no intentionality supporting local and regional efforts to address the issue of homelessness emanating from Sacramento. None. There are no statewide goals to end homelessness. There is no vision to end homelessness in the state of California.
“I’m going to step up significantly on this issue,” he said.
With $19.5 million in the bank, Newsom has a vast fundraising lead over his opponents and is the early poll leader, too. Newsom was the top choice of 26 percent of the likely voters responding to a December 2017 Berkeley IGS Poll, with Villaraigosa at 17 percent. Two Republicans — Rancho Santa Fe businessman John Cox and Allen, R-Huntington Beach — each grabbed 9 percent, with Chiang and former Superintendent of Public Instruction Eastin each getting 5 percent. Another candidate, former Sacramento-area GOP Rep. Doug Ose, entered the race in January and was not included in the polling.
DCG

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Duke offers men a 'safe space' to contemplate their 'toxic masculinity'

Raising a nation of wussies.

Pajama Boy Approved

Pajama Boy Approved


From Fox News: Duke University is famous for its science and engineering programs, as well as its dominance in college basketball. Now, it may also become known as a great place for men to gather and contemplate why they’re such horrible people.
The Duke Men’s Project, launched this month and hosted by the campus Women’s Center, offers a nine-week program for “male-identified” students that discusses male privilege, patriarchy, “the language of dominance,” rape culture, pornography, machismo and other topics.
The student newspaper’s editorial board endorsed the new program, insisting it was “not a reeducation camp being administered by an oppressed group in the service of the feminization of American society.” But it’s easy to see why they felt the need to defend against such concerns.
Dipro Bhowmik

Dipro Bhowmik


Junior Dipro Bhowmik, who sits on the leadership team, recently said the goal of the Duke Men’s Project is for male students to “critique and analyze their own masculinity and toxic masculinities to create healthier ones.”
Click for more from Heat Street.
DCG

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British Author: 'We don’t need to be the men our grandfathers were'

The debut author’s study of ‘toxic masculinity’ was uncomfortable to write, but he says it’s fired with hope that clichéd male behaviour can be unlearned.

Pajama Boy Approved

Pajama Boy Approved


The author, Jack Urwin

The author, Jack Urwin


From The Guardian:  When Jack Urwin was nine years old, his father Richard died on their bathroom floor. He’d had a heart attack. This was the first time that the Urwin family had heard of him having heart problems. That was not the case for Richard: his post-mortem revealed significant scar tissue, indicating a previous attack, while weeks later, Jack’s mum found angina medication in the pocket of one of his jackets. He’d known, but never said anything.
Weeks later, Jack won the epithet “funniest pupil” at school. The absurdity of this, he would write a decade later in a Vice article, was that he had never been particularly funny, but a fierce appetite for humour had been born from his father’s death. “After he died, jokes took preference over sincerity in almost any situation,” he wrote, “because the idea of picking at wounds and revealing the fragile human beneath was about the most terrifying thing I could comprehend. It’s a trait I now recognise as one of my father’s greatest flaws, ultimately contributing to his downfall. It’s also an inherent characteristic of so many men.
The article, A Stiff Upper Lip Is Killing British Men went viral online on its publication in 2014. Urwin, then 22, was struck by another absurdity: as hundreds were lauding him as a fresh new voice on gender, as feminist writer Laurie Penny was messaging him about finding an agent and as Irvine Welsh was praising his piece as “fabulous” – he was stuck working a shift in a bar, unable to respond to any of it. Two years on, it is still easy to see why it took off: Urwin’s voice is honest, young, funny and sad. On a poignant, humorous note, his piece ends: “Please: start talking. I don’t want to have to write a whole book about this stuff.”
On the day I meet Jack about his whole book, the Orlando nightclub shootings have happened overnight and the world is still trying to process why the gunman killed 49 people. Fights are breaking out at the Euro 2016 championship in France, with a Russian politician tweeting his support of Russians attacking English fans: “Well done lads, keep it up!” It is a heavy day to be talking about masculinity; he wrinkles his nose when I bring up the news.
You might need some masculinity to fight the Muslim terrorist.

You might need some masculinity to fight the Muslim terrorist.


“We do need to look at how we ascribe meaning to these events,” he says. “That 98% of mass shootings in the US are by men is never mentioned. If 98% of mass shootings were committed by Muslims or black people, there would be uproar! And you don’t see women trashing bars in Marseille.”
man up book
Urwin’s first book, Man Up, is all about what he calls this “toxic masculinity”: the public performance of masculinity that is conditioned into men from birth, the idea that acknowledging weakness is a weakness itself. Boys don’t cry, listen, talk about feelings: every caricature that is mined for advertising and sitcom fodder is rooted in a more sinister truth that produces real problems: like violence, sexism and mental illness. Britain’s “lad culture” – which Urwin defines as “vile, shitting-in-pint-glasses, rape-culture-perpetuating behaviour” – is at its heart one big pantomime, fuelled by the attention of the men involved.
Urwin himself might be mistaken for one of his male performers – tall and with a burly frame that would probably look serious on a rugby pitch – but the personality that goes with it is warm and acutely, almost apologetically self-aware.
“There is something about the male personality that means we are so driven by a mob mentality,” Urwin says. “I remember from school how fascinating it was to see how perfectly intelligent boys could spur each other on.” He reels off a list of “games” he played with other boys: pushing on someone’s chest until they fainted; flicking coins at each other’s knuckles; spraying deodorant up one’s nose; drinking Tabasco sauce. “I wasn’t an idiot. I knew this was stupid behaviour. But I still took part in it. Why? A sense of belonging I think. You don’t want to be the only one in a class of 30 not doing the masculine thing. It makes them perceive you as effeminate or gay.”
He doesn’t buy that this comes down to something innate in his gender – what the British Medical Journal calls “male idiot theory, or “evolutionary neuroandrogenic theory”, which links more testosterone to more aggression. “I have a problem drawing links such as these, as I fear they are all too often used to justify awful behaviour while ignoring the greater issue of how we are brought up and socialised to act,” he says.
How men are socialised to act is a product of history, Urwin argues in Man Up: he traces the concept of masculinity from the birth of “behavioural modernity” 50,000 years ago, up to today’s “lads”, who he thinks were born from a desire to emulate the disappearing working class. One element Urwin returns to frequently is why men don’t talk about their feelings – an attitude he believes was handed down father-to-son from the two world wars. He does not exempt himself from this problem: “My partner says, ‘You literally wrote a book about talking more!’ But when you are writing, there is this level of detachment that you don’t get when talking. You can remove yourself from what you are writing about, almost as if it is fictional.”
This freedom allowed Urwin to share something he had never spoken about before: a period of self-harm when was 13. When his family read the book, there was some unhappiness. “It was very difficult for them knowing I felt able to share that with the whole world but not with them. I agonised over sharing it in the first place, but if it reaches someone who is ashamed about self-harming, I thought it might be a valuable resource. My mum was saying, ‘Why did you never tell us about this? You’ve written a book about being more honest, but you’ve kept a lot of stuff from us.’” He suddenly laughs. “I was fairly certain my family hated me for a while. I still need to do some bridge building.”
As is often reported, there is a huge disparity in suicide rates between genders: men are three times more likely to complete a suicide attempt than women. However, the last Adult Psychiatric Morbidity in England survey found that 7% of women and 4% of men in the UK had attempted suicide, which Urwin believes indicates another problem: “Some research suggests that men use more violent methods, because in that point of absolute despair, this is a way they can claw back some success. If they fail, it is a humiliation. Of all the ways our masculinity is killing us, there is nothing more harrowing than a man feeling successful if he completes his suicide.
As the problems came before, Urwin feels a solution will also be produced from generational change.It is like racism and homophobia – we sort of have to wait for some people to die out. I think some people can be changed, but when you get to middle age, it is very difficult to unlearn everything you’ve always known. But our attitudes to gender and sexuality are a world apart from 50 years ago. We don’t need to be the men our grandfathers were.
serious
While the book is in early days, Urwin is happy about the reception it has received: “It has left me feeling quite optimistic about the future of humanity.” He is thankful that women and feminists have been supportive; Urwin is a vocal feminist and is confounded by the idea that men and feminism are somehow at odds.
feminism
For anyone new to today’s online dialogue, discussions of gender and abuse tend to go hand in hand. But bar a few run-ins with Men’s Rights Activists (MRAs) online, who argue men are now at a disadvantage due to the progress of feminism, Urwin has remained unscathed. When I write about women or gender, I pre-emptively logout of Twitter, I say; Urwin winces. “That is a male privilege,” he says. “For the most part, I don’t have any trouble, even when I support feminism.”
What he is finding troubling is dealing with praise. Men have lauded Man Up as something bold and new, but Urwin is hyper-aware of his female predecessors. “A lot of this has been touched on before but mostly by women. There are lots of ideas that aren’t necessarily new but people are celebrating me for them. It does feel a bit bad.”
He looks grim, then huffs a laugh. “I am not going to argue with it too much though. I want to sell books, on the cynical side of it.”
DCG

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