Tag Archives: Rep. Eric Swalwell

We have a winner!

This was a difficult contest to choose a winner, as indicated in the fact that only two points separated the winner from the runner-up, and the runner-up from the 3rd place and 4th place.

But the writers of FOTM voted for what each considered to be the best (#1) and second-best (#2) captions. Each #1 vote is worth 4 points; a #2 vote is worth 2 points.

And the (narrow) winner of the 213th FOTM Caption Contest, with two #1 votes, totaling 8 points, is . . .

Jackie Puppet!

Here is the winning caption:

Turns out Eric Swalwell was the Ukraine “whistleblower’ all along!

 

YouKnowWho is in 2nd place, with one #1 and one #2 vote, totalling 6 points. Here is the caption:

“Liftoff”

Two other Jackie Puppet captions and William (each with one #1 vote), and Kevin Lankford (with two #2 votes) are in 3rd place, each with 4 points. Here are their captions:

Jackie Puppet: “Swalwell proves the adage that people can indeed talk out of both sides of their mouths.”

Jackie Puppet: “Chris, let me ASS you a question!”

William: “Swallwell inadvertently contributes to global warming, causing South Pacific islands to be submerged last year.”

Kevin Lankford: “Swalwell testing his mini-nukes.”

DFJ150, Larry, and pigpen51 are in 4th place, each with one #2 vote and 2 points. Here are their captions:

DFJ150: “After being so full of crap for so long, Eric could no longer contain himself.”

Larry: “Eric Swallwell demonstrating the improper use of a colon when punctuating a sentence.”

pigpen51: “That is the most intelligent thing to come out of a Democrat in years.”

WELL DONE, EVERYONE!

Congratulations, Jackie Puppet!

Here is your super-duper Award of Excellence, all ready for framing!

For all the other caption submissions, go here.

Be here later today for our next, very exciting Caption Contest! 😀

~Eowyn

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The Farting Congressman Caption Contest

This Caption Contest is now closed

—————

This is the 213th world-famous FOTM Caption Contest!

Here’s the brief video/audio:

About the GIF: On November 18, 2019 on Chris Matthews’ MSNBC “Hardball” show, Rep. Swalwell (D-California) was interviewed on Demonrats’ impeachment of President Trump, when he emitted a very loud fart. See DCG’s post “Eric “Nuke ’em” Swalwell farts on Chris Matthews’ Hardball…“.

You know the drill:

  • Enter the contest by submitting your caption as a comment on this thread (scroll down until you see the “LEAVE A REPLY” box).
  • The winner of the Caption Contest will get a gorgeous Award Certificate of Excellence and a year’s free subscription to FOTM:D
  • FOTM writers will vote for the winner.
  • Any captions proffered by FOTM writers, no matter how brilliant (ha ha), will not be considered. :(

This contest will be closed in a week, at the end of next Tuesday, November 26, 2019.

To get the contest going, here’s my caption:

With one loud fart, Eric Swalwell, who threatened to nuke Americans who resist gun confiscation, capsulized the entire Trump impeachment investigation.

Or

Eric Swalwell’s greatest achievement: The fart heard around the world.

For the winner of our last Caption Contest, go here.

~Eowyn

Drudge Report has gone to the dark side. Check out Whatfinger News, the Internet’s conservative frontpage founded by a military veteran!

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Congressman Eric Swalwell (D-CA) threatens to nuke gun-confiscation resisters

Rep. Eric Swalwell, 38, is a California Demonrat who represents east Alameda County in the San Francisco Bay Area.

In a May 3, 2018 USA Today op/ed entitled, “Ban assault weapons, buy them back, go after resisters,” Swalwell said he and other Democrats had been too deferential to Second Amendment activists and should follow the lead of teenage “survivors” of the Parkland school shooting who have been more strident.

Swalwell proposed outlawing and confiscating all “military-style semiautomatic assault weapons”. Existing owners of semiautomatic rfiles would be forced to sell their weapons or face prosecution because merely banning assault weapons would still “leave millions of assault weapons in our communities for decades to come.”

Townhall‘s Katie Pavlich points out that “assault rifle” is a politically loaded, misleading term used by the Left to demonize semi-automatic rifles, and that what Swalwell wants to confiscate is “In other words, every rifle in America.”

Responding to Swalwell’s gun ban and confiscation proposal, former InfoWars reporter Joe Biggs @Rambobiggs tweeted:

So basically @RepSwalwell wants a war. Because that’s what you would get. You’re outta your fucking mind if you think I’ll give up my rights and give the gov all the power.

To which Swalwell tweeted this threat:

And it would be a short war my friend. The government has nukes. Too many of them. But they’re legit. I’m sure if we talked we could find common ground to protect our families and communities.

Biggs tweeted back:

So our government would nuke its own country in order to take guns? Wow

So did others:

@KGamecock: “‘We can nuke you but hey, let’s find common ground’ – A sitting US Representative. That’s almost as laughable as your wikipedia photo. Stay in California Eric.”

@Elm 335: “You really just threatened to use nukes on our citizens and can’t understand why we don’t trust the government enough to give up our 2nd amendment rights?!”

Like other Demonrats who’ve issued threats, when confronted Swalwell calls his threat mere sarcasm:

it’s sarcasm. He said he’s going to war with America if gun legislation was passed. I told him his government has nukes. God forbid we use sarcasm

He then portrays himself as the innocent victim:

America’s gun debate in one thread.

1) I propose a buy-back of assault weapons

2) Gun owner says he’ll go to war with USA if that happens

3) I sarcastically point out USA isn’t losing to his assault weapon (it’s not the 18th Century)

4) I’m called a tyrant

Swalwell also calls Biggs and other pro-Second Amendment Americans “gun trolls” whom he’s bravely taken on “to protect kids from being slaughtered in class”.

Elected to the House of Representatives in November 2012, Swalwell is a strong supporter of abortion and LGBTs. He has been mentioned as a potential 2020 presidential candidate and has publicly expressed an interest in running.

Eric Swalwell is precisely the sort of politicians about whom Thomas Jefferson had warned.

About the Parkland school shooting, see the post that got Fellowship of the Minds bot-attacked: “Parkland anomalies: David Hogg was at home during school shooting; interviewed girl before shooting”. If you can’t load that page, you can read the post on archive.today. Click here.

The distributed denial-of-service cyber attacks began 7 days ago and are continuing. That is why you sometimes get a blank page when you try to access FOTM. When you do, just refresh the page until you get a substantive page. Our hosting server has already boosted FOTM‘s memory to the max and can’t do more. We just have to wait them out.

Thank you for your patience and persistence.

~Eowyn

Better than Drudge Report. Check out Whatfinger News, the Internet’s conservative frontpage founded by ex-military!

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