Tag Archives: President

I Saw It On The Internet So It Must Be True.

 

You should see the Jackalope that got away!

You should see the Jackalope that got away!

MONSTER BUCK DEER

My faith in Internet stories has been restored. Finally, some honesty in big buck hunting stories. Above is a picture of the new world record whitetail buck.
 It was taken by the cousin of a co-worker’s sister’s uncle’s best friend’s son-in-law’s niece‘s hairdresser’s neighbor’s ex-boyfriend’s oldest nephew.
monkey
Reportedly it will score 2603-1/8 by B&C standard and was shot in West Texas on a really windy day, 85 degrees downhill, around a curve at 900 yards with a .22 cal. rifle.
Supposedly, this deer had killed a Brahma bull, two Land Rovers, and six Jehovah’s Witnesses in the last two weeks alone. They said it was winning a fight with Bigfoot when it was shot.
It has also been confirmed that the buck had been seen drinking discharge water from a nuclear power plant. All this has been checked and confirmed by my friends at Snopes.con
Honestly and Sincerely, 

~Steve~                                  H/T  hujonwi
 

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Hillary’s Driver

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Hillary Clinton and her driver were cruising along a country road one evening. As the car rounded a blind curve, a very old cow suddenly loomed in front of the car. The driver tried to avoid it but couldn’t. The aged bovine was struck and killed.

Hillary told her driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened. She stayed in the car making phone calls to lobbyists.

About an hour later, the driver staggered back to the car with his clothes in disarray. He was holding a half-empty bottle of expensive wine in one hand, a huge Cuban cigar in the other, and was smiling happily, smeared with lipstick.

What the hell happened to you,” asked Hillary?

“Well,” the driver replied, “the farmer gave me the cigar, his wife gave me the wine, and their beautiful twin daughters made mad passionate love to me.”!

“My God, what prompted all of that?” asked Hillary.

The driver replied, “I just stepped inside the door and said, I’m Hillary Clinton’s driver and I’ve just killed the old cow. The rest happened so fast I couldn’t stop it.

~Steve~                                      H/T Miss May

 

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Obama Rated 5th Best U.S. President Ever.

Note from Eowyn:

Due to the number of outraged comments about this post — comments that clearly show the readers either had not read this post to the end or have trouble understanding the English language — I’m inserting this:

Attn: This post is a joke!!!!

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Of the total of 44 US Presidents: Obama rated 5th best president ever. I was just reading a Democratic publicity release that said, “…after a little more than 4 years, Obama has been rated the 5th best president ever.”

The details:
* Reagan, Lincoln, and 8 others tied for first,
* 15 presidents tied for second,
* 17 other presidents tied for third,
* Jimmy Carter came in 4th, and
* Obama fifth*   😆

~Steve~                                              H/T   Jean

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The Search Is Over For That Perfect Gift For You Know Who…

FOTM Endorses no product. Especially this one.  

😆

Legal mumbo jumbo, blah blah blah, ipso facto and no way ray. I said it and I mean it and so does FOTM, legal mumbo jumbo disclaimer.


Now I don’t know about you, but there is this great big

White House in Washington where this guy lives who is very deserving of this lovely gift. Or your Congress Critter. Senator. Or your loud mouth Brother in Law. The possibilities are endless. My only problem is the order form. Please scroll to second sheet to see.

poopsenders - the ULTIMATE gag gift - SWEET revenge at its finest

I’m torn between the ever exotic “Gorilla Poop”

Or

You can never Go wrong with the “Combo Poop Pack”

( Three Kinds)

poopsenders - the ULTIMATE gag gift -2

I had to do a screen shot to do this. The actual website is 

https://www.poopsenders.com/

FOTM takes no responsibility for any orders placed. Nor do we endorse this site.

It is posted under Humor. Got it. Good now start laughing.

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~Steve~                   H/T  My 13 YR old, who like all 13 yr olds thinks poop is funny

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Actually, the joke is on all of us. Groannnnn!


A guy traveling through Mexico on vacation lost his wallet and all of his identification. Cutting his trip short, he attempted to make his way home but was stopped by the U.S. Customs Agent at the border.
May I see your identification, please?” asked the agent.
“I’m sorry, but I lost my wallet,” replied the guy..
“Sure buddy, I hear that every day. No ID, no entry,” said the agent.
“But I can prove I’m an American!” he exclaimed. “I have a picture of Ronald Reagan tattooed on one side of my butt and George Bush on the other.”
“This I gotta see,” replied the agent.
With that, the guy dropped his pants and showed the agent his behind.
“By golly, you’re right!” exclaimed the agent. “Have a safe trip back to
Chicago .”
Thanks!” he said. “But how did you know I was from Chicago ?”
The agent replied,
“I recognized Obama in the middle.”   Groannnnnnn!  😀

~Steve~                                              H/T  Jean

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Out of the mouths of babes…


The President goes to a school to talk to the kids.
After his talk he offers question time.
One little boy puts up his hand, and the President asks him his name.
“Walter,” responds the little boy.
“And what is your question, Walter?”
“I have four questions:
First, Why did the USA Bomb Libya without the support of the Congress?
Second, Why do you keep saying you fixed the economy when it’s actually gotten worse?
Third, Why did you say that Jeremiah Wright was your mentor, then said that you knew nothing about his preaching and beliefs?
Fourth, Why are we lending money to Brazil to drill for oil, but America is not allowed to drill for oil?”
Just then, the bell rings for recess. The President informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.
When they resume Obama says, “OK, where were we? Oh, that’s right: question time.. Who has a question?”
A boy puts up his hand. Obama points him out and asks him his name.
“Steve,” he responds.
“And what is your question, Steve?”
Actually, I have two questions.
First, Why did the recess bell ring 20 minutes early?
Second, What happened to Walter?”
~Steve~                       H/T  Jean

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Free Kittens.

 

A little girl named Suzy was standing on the sidewalk in front of her home. Next to her was a basket containing a number of tiny creatures; in her hand was a sign announcing FREE KITTENS.
Suddenly a line of big black cars pulled up beside her. Out of the lead car stepped a tall, grinning man.”Hi there little girl, I’m President Obama . What do you have in the basket?” he asked.
Kittens,” little Suzy said. How old are they?” asked Obama. Suzy replied, “They’re so young, their eyes aren’t even open yet.” “And what kind of kittens are they?” “Democrats,” answered Suzy. Obama was delighted.
As soon as he returned to his car, he called his PR chief and told him about the little girl and the kittens. Recognizing the perfect photo op, the two men agreed that the president should return the next day; and in front of the assembled media, have the girl talk about her discerning kittens.
So the next day, Suzy was again standing on the sidewalk with her basket of “FREE KITTENS,” when another motorcade pulled up, this time followed by vans from ABC , NBC, CBS and CNN. Cameras and audio equipment were quickly set up, then Obama got out of his limo and walked over to little Suzy. “Hello, again,” he said, “I’d love it if you would tell all my friends out there what kind of kittens you’re giving away.”
“Yes sir,” Suzy said. “They’re Republicans.”
Taken by surprise, the president stammered, “But. but… yesterday, you told me they were DEMOCRATS.”
Little Suzy smiled and said, “I know, but today, they have their eyes open.”
~Steve~                      H/T  Jean

Just cause I love it. LOL

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545 Spending Monkeys


~~LTG

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Breaking now. Troops out of Iraq by end of Dec.

POLITICO Breaking News
————————————————-
President Barack Obama announced Friday that the last American troops in Iraq will return home by the end of December, bringing to a close a deployment of nearly nine years and allowing the United States and Iraq to begin “a normal relationship between sovereign nations.”
“Today I can say that our troops in Iraq will definitely be home for the holidays,” Obama said in a statement in the White House press room.
For more information… https://www.politico.com
~Steve~

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Skippy's Jobs Bill Fails

POLITICO Breaking News
————————————————-
The Senate voted Tuesday night to block President Barack Obama’s $447 billion jobs bill, falling well short of the votes needed to break a Republican filibuster. The final vote was being held open so that Sen. Jeanne Shaheen (D-N.H.) could give Democrats their 51st “yes” vote, but the measure required 60 to move ahead.

For more information… https://www.politico.com

~Steve~

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