Tag Archives: Physician

Let's start the week with a laugh.

The Buttocks
A married couple was in a terrible accident where the Man’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the Husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the only skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks.
The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honour their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter. After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the man’s new face.
He looked more handsome than he ever had before! All his friends and relatives just went on and on about his youthful beauty! One day, he was alone with his wife, and he was overcome with emotion at her sacrifice. He said, ‘Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. How can I possibly repay you?’
‘My darling,’ she replied, ‘I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek.’
~Steve~                H/T    Joseph,  with thanks to Dom B.

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The Doctors


A doctor from Israel says: “In Israel , the medicine is so advanced that we cut off a man’s testicles, we put them into another man, and in 6 weeks he is looking for work.”
The German doctor comments: “That’s nothing, in Germany , we take part of the brain out of a person, we put it into another person’s head, and in 4 weeks he is looking for work.”
A Russian doctor says: “That’s nothing either. In Russia , we take out half of the heart from a person, we put it into another person’s chest, and in 2 weeks he is looking for work.”
The U.S. doctor answers immediately: “That’s nothing my colleagues, you are way behind us….in the USA ,about 2 years ago, we grabbed a person from Kenya with no Brains, no heart, and no testicles….we made him President of the United States, and now…the whole country is looking for work.”
~Steve~                                   H/T  May

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Careful What You Wish For..

An elderly woman goes to the doctor and asks his help to revive her husband’s sex drive. “What about trying Viagra?” asks the doctor. “Not a chance,” says Mrs.. Murphy. “He won’t even take an aspirin for a headache.” “No problem,” replies the doctor. “Drop it into his coffee, he won’t even taste it. Try it and come back in a week to let me know how you got on.”

A week later Mrs.Murphy returns to the doctor and he inquires as to how things went. “Oh it was terrible, just terrible doctor.” “What happened?” asks the doctor. “Well I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee.

The effect was immediate. He jumped straight up, swept the cutlery off the table, at the same time ripping my clothes off and then proceeded to make passionate love to me on the tabletop. It was terrible.” “What was terrible?” said the doctor, “was the sex not good?” “Oh no doctor, the sex was the best I’ve had in 25 years, but I’ll never be able to show my face in McDonald’s again.”

And Thus began the Senior’s Happy Meal.

True Story, I checked on Snopes. 😀

~Steve~

 

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