Tag Archives: Mobile phone

Have you ever been in public and annoyed by a Cell phone user? Here’s a great story.

After a busy day, and just as he was settling down for a nap on the train, the man sitting near him hauled out his cell phone and started up a conversation:

“Hi darling, it’s Tom… I’m on the train…Yes, I know it’s the 6:30 not the 4:30, but I had a long meeting…No, not with that floozie from the typing pool, with the boss… No, darling, you’re the only one in my life…Yes, I’m sure, cross my heart,” etc. , etc…

This was still going on more than 15 minutes, when the young woman opposite, driven beyond endurance, yelled at the top of her voice,

“Hey, Tom, turn off that phone and come back to bed!”

~Steve~                                         H/T  Joseph


Male vs Female At The ATM

A new sign in the Bank reads:

‘Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.

Customers using this new facility are
requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender.’

1… Drive up to the ATM.

2. LOWER your car window.

3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

4. Enter amount of cash required.

5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

6. Raise window.

7. Drive off..


(Unfortunately, most of this is true.!!)   Hey, He said it not me..  😀
1. Drive up to ATM machine.

2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.

3. Put hand brake on, put the window down.

4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

5. Tell person on mobile phone you will call them back and hang up.

6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.

8. Insert card.

9. Attempt to  Re-insert card the right way.

10. Get out of car and pick up card you dropped.

10. Insert card

11. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.

12. Enter PIN …

13. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

13. Decide to check balance.

14. Take slip with balance and press new transaction.

14. Redo steps 6-12

15. Enter amount of cash required.

16. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

17. Retrieve cash and receipt.

18. Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside.

19. Write debit amount in cheque book and place receipt in back of it.

20. Re-check makeup.

21. Drive forward 2 feet.

22. Reverse back to ATM machine.

23. Retrieve card.

24. Re-empty hand bag, locate card
holder, and place card into the slot provided.

25. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.

26. Restart stalled engine and drive off.

27. Redial person on mobile phone.

28. Drive for 2 to 3 kilometres.

29. Release Hand Brake.

30. Don’t kill the messenger.  😀

~Steve~                          H/T  I-Man

Growing up without a cell phone

If you are 36, or older, you might think this is hilarious!

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning….
Uphill…. Barefoot… BOTH ways…yadda, yadda, yadda

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay
a bunch of crap like that on my kids about how hard I had it and how easy they’ve got it!

But now that I’m over the ripe old age of forty, I can’t help but look around and notice the youth of today.. You’ve got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don’t know how good you’ve got it!

1) I mean, when I was a kid we didn’t have the Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!

2) There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter – with a pen!
Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox, and it would take like a week to get there! Stamps were 10 cents!

3) Child Protective Services didn’t care if our parents beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our ass! Nowhere was safe!

4) There were no MP3’s or Napsters or iTunes! If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself!

5) Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio, and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up! There were no CD players! We had tape decks in our car. We’d play our favorite tape and “eject” it when finished, and then the tape would come undone rendering it useless. Cause, hey, that’s how we rolled, Baby! Dig?

6) We didn’t have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called, they got a busy signal, that’s it!

7) There weren’t any freakin’ cell phones either. If you left the house, you just didn’t make a damn call or receive one. You actually had to be out of touch with your “friends”. OH MY GOSH !!! Think of the horror… not being in touch with someone 24/7!!! And then there’s TEXTING. Yeah, right. Please! You kids have no idea how annoying you are.

8) And we didn’t have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your parents, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, the collection agent…. you just didn’t know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

9) We didn’t have any fancy PlayStation or Xbox video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like ‘Space Invaders‘ and ‘Asteroids’… Your screen guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination!!! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen.. Forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!

10) You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel!!! NO REMOTES!!! Oh, no, what’s the world coming to?!?!

11) There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I’m saying? We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-bastards!

12) And we didn’t have microwaves. If we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove! Imagine that!
13) And our parents told us to stay outside and play… all day long. Oh, no, no electronics to soothe and comfort. And if you came back inside… you were doing chores!

And car seats – oh, please! Mom threw you in the back seat and you hung on. If you were lucky, you got the “safety arm” across the chest at the last moment if she had to stop suddenly, and if your head hit the dashboard, well that was your fault for calling “shot gun” in the first place!

See! That’s exactly what I’m talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You’re spoiled rotten! You guys wouldn’t have lasted five minutes back in 1970 or any time before!
~Steve                      H/T     owllady

For Those Who Like To Multi-Task

This is perfect for Steve! LOL ~Eowyn

For The Manly Man…..Ouch , MOMMY!!!!   Learn a New Hobby  Use This To…Ah Never Mind, I won’t Go There

Learn a new hobby. Origami!


Jot a few notes for your meeting. Pres. Lyndon Johnson would finish a meeting in the bathroom, did you know that? Eww

Use This To...Ah Never Mind, I won't Go There

And last but certainly not the least, we present to you, our Patriotic Readers.

~Steve~     H/T Miss May