Because “love is love” or something like that.
Happy threesome: (l-r) Sebastian Tran, 29, Adam Grant, 27, and Shayne Curran, 29, live together as a threesome after Shayne and Adam got divorced to include Sebastian in their relationship
Daily Mail: Two married men have revealed how they got a divorce just one year after tying the knot – so they could include a third man in their relationship.
Adam Grant and Shayne Curran, from Nova Scotia, Canada, said ‘I do’ in 2011 after dating for more than two years. However, they met Sebastian Tran in a nightclub in September 2012 and immediately hit it off – and decided to end their marriage so they could make a commitment to each other as a threesome.
The trio, who all work in the medical profession, now live together and are hoping to start a family someday – with help from Seb’s and Shayne’s sisters who will act as surrogates and egg donors.
Although being married to more than one person is not legal in Canada, the trio say they have spoken lawyers who can draw up paperwork to make sure they are ‘equally bound and obligated to each other in the eyes of the law’. None of the men has ever been in a polyamorous relationship before.
Shayne, 29, who is a medical administration student, said: ‘We’re the happiest we’ve ever been – all our dynamics and personalities work so well in a relationship. The three of us bring out the best in each other.’ Adam, a 27-year-old nursing student, added: ‘We didn’t want Sebastian to be excluded or feel like the third wheel in our relationship. ‘So Shayne and I decided to get a divorce so that we could make a renewed commitment between the three of us instead. ‘We want to make sure that we’re all equally bound and obligated to each other in marriage.’
Adam Grant and Shayne Curran, from Nova Scotia, Canada, tied the knot in 2011 after dating for more than two years. They got divorced a year later and now live as a threesome with Sebastin
The threesome hope to conceive three children together with the help of Shayne’s sisters as surrogates whilst Seb’s sister will donate her eggs.
Sebastian, 29, came out as gay a year before meeting Adam and Shayne and has never been in a long-term relationship before. He said: ‘We definitely see kids in our future. We would love to have three children altogether of our own genetics if possible and we have a plan on how we’re going to make that happen. We have really supportive family and friends around us who want to help us conceive. Shayne has two sisters who have offered to carry our children for us and my sister will hopefully donate her eggs too.’
Adam and Shayne first met in a nightclub in Halifax, Nova Scotia more six years ago. Adam said: ‘For three weekends in a row, Shayne and I kept spotting each other at the same nightclub. Every time we met, we couldn’t stop staring at each other. I thought Shayne was so good looking. Eventually, we broke the ice and started chatting.’
Shayne said: ‘Once I began talking, Adam and I instantly clicked. We soon became inseparable and we ended up moving in with each three weeks later. ‘I suppose Adam and I knew straight away that we were meant to be. We were really happy together and ended up getting married in 2011.’
Although being married to more than one person is not legal in Canada, the trio have spoken lawyers who can draw up paperwork to make sure they are ‘equally bound and obligated to each other in the eyes of the law’
A year into their marriage. Adam and Shayne decided to become a bit more open-minded with their relationship. It was during this point that they met Sebastian. Shayne said: ‘Adam and I wanted to have a little more fun so we decided to experiment with multiple partners. We never intended it to be anything serious, we certainly never planning on taking on a full-time third partner by any means. It was just bit of sexual experimentation. So one night, Shayne and I were in a nightclub with some friends. Sebastian caught our eye. He was dancing to Gangnam Style, which we found hilarious and we thought he was really cute.’
Adam added: ‘We started chatting to Sebastian and the conversation just came really easily. After leaving the nightclub, we went home with Sebastian and spent the whole evening with him. ‘The three of us sat out in our back garden together, talking for hours about our lives, ambitions and dreams.
‘It was such an amazing night. Sebastian was different to anyone we had ever met. There was something about him that Shayne and I couldn’t explain, but it was like meeting our life partner for the second time. ‘We all hung out together the morning after too. We had breakfast together and went on a little road trip together to pick pumpkins.’
Sebastian, who works as a family physician, said: ‘I came out as gay pretty late in life. When I met Adam and Shayne, I was still in the phase of just seeing what everything was about. I hadn’t been in a relationship yet before either so I didn’t know what to expect. I just knew that I really liked Adam and Shayne and they made me happy. At the time, I didn’t think I was ready to commit to anyone so it was a surprise when I fell for both Adam and Shayne. I didn’t think I wanted one boyfriend let alone two! But from the moment we met, we started spending all our time together. We were inseparable.’
This was the first polyamorous relationship that Adam and Shayne had been in too and they had some initial concerns about the arrangement. Shayne explained: ‘Before I met Sebastian, Adam and I had never been in a serious three-way relationship before so it was new territory for us. Initially, we did struggle with our feelings for Sebastian and we had some concerns about how our relationship would all work. I felt awful when I began to feel jealous at the thought of Sebastian being with another guy. It felt wrong to be envious of Sebastian when I still loved Adam. And I didn’t want to fall in love with Sebastian and hurt my relationship with Adam. But after speaking to Adam, we both realised that we both felt the same way about him. If anything, Sebastian only enhanced our relationship.’
After two months of dating, it became obvious that love had blossomed between the trio and they moved in with Sebastian. Sebastian said: ‘It just seemed like the natural path for us, we just realised what we were. Together as a threesome, we were all complete. We never really had the conversation of let’s all be together as a couple. It just sort of happened.’
The threesome have been living together for more than three years now and are happier than ever. Adam, Sebastian and Shayne work so well together that they hope to open a medical clinic in the next few years.
Sebastian explained: ‘Right now, I work as a doctor in the military but after Adam and Shayne have finished their studies, we would love to set up own health centre. I would be the main doctor, Adam should be able to help out with the clinic and perform cosmetic procedures on the side and Shayne would be the boss. It would be wonderful to work together, we’re very passionate about medicine.’
Last year, Adam and Shayne got legally divorced so that they can legally become joined in a union where all parties are equal. Adam explains: ‘We divorced so everything would work out legally with the three of us. The commitment Shayne and I made to each other still stands but now Seb is part of that commitment too.
‘We want to make sure that we are all equal in our relationship and in marriage. ‘Although being married to more than one person is not yet legal, we have spoken lawyers who can draw up paperwork to make sure we are equally bound and obligated to each other in the eyes of the law.’ Sebastian added: ‘We haven’t got a date for our wedding yet but we want it to be a low-key affair – a nice party with all our closest friends and family there.
‘We want to have kids one day so the three of us getting married is very important. We want to ensure our children are looked after whatever happens to us and our union is backed up legally. Adam, Seb and Shayne hope to have three children altogether and even have a plan on how they will conceive them.
Shayne explained: ‘I have two sisters who have both offered to carry our children for us as surrogates and are willing to donate their eggs as well. My sisters actually argue over which one them will carry our baby first – I feel very lucky! Meanwhile Sebastian’s sister will probably donate her eggs too so we can keep it in the family. We want to mix our genes enough so that our kids are as genetically close to us as possible. But, we are open to adoption too. Children are a huge part of our future plans.’
A year into their marriage. Adam (right) and Shayne (left) decided to become a bit more open-minded with their relationship. It was during this point that they met Sebastian
The threesome insist their relationship is like any normal couple’s – having dinner with one another, looking after their two dogs Tito and Tux, and sharing a bed together.
Sebastian explained: ‘Our lives are pretty normal. I work as a doctor in the day whilst Shayne and Adam study. When we return home, we love having movie nights or relaxing in the hot tub in our backyard. We like spending time with our friends and family, checking out the new restaurants and night clubs in Toronto during the weekend.’
Shayne said: ‘We all sleep in a king size bed together – it’s necessary when there’s three people in a relationship as well as two dogs who end up getting into your bed! We all have our roles in the family and divide up our chores. I’m the cook in the family. I always make sure there’s dinner on the table and I insist we all get together to eat supper together every night. That’s very important to us. At the moment, I love cooking Vietnamese food for dinner. Sebastian’s mum has been showing me how to cook lots of amazing Eastern dishes. Meanwhile, Adam is the clean freak of the household and he’s always tidying and taking care of our two dogs. He likes decorating too. Sebastian is the jokester of the family and he constantly cracks us up with his jokes. He also takes on the role of the family financial advisor.’
Adam, Shayne and Sebastian don’t think they will add a fourth partner to their throuple. Sebastian said: ‘We’re already pushing the envelope with the three of us so we’d probably be in danger of pairing off with a fourth partner in the mix. And we really do have a sense of completion with our current relationship. Right now, it’s about the three of us.’
The trio hope to show that polyamory is a perfectly acceptable choice of life and love. Adam explained: ‘We just want to say that love is love. It should be multiplied not divided. It shouldn’t matter if you’re in a three-way or a four-way relationship.’