Tag Archives: little old lady

This One's for Sage!

A little old lady came home from shopping and found a robber in her kitchen.

Scared and not knowing what to do, she raised her hand and quoted the Scripture “Acts 2:38.”

The robber froze in his tracks, so she called the police. When the policeman came, he saw this robber standing perfectly still and wondered what the lady had done.

He asked her, and she replied, “I just quoted some Scripture.”

The policeman turned to the robber and said, “Why did that Scripture make you act this way?” Continue reading

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How Is Norma?

A sweet grandmother telephoned the local Patient Protection Affordable Care Hospital.

She timidly asked, “Is it possible  to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?”

The operator said, “I’ll be glad to help, dear. What’s the name and room number of the patient?”

The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said, “Norma Findlay, room 302.”

The operator replied, “Let me put you on hold while I check with the nurse’s station for that room.”

After a few minutes, the operator returned to the phone and said, “I have good news. Her nurse just told me that Norma is doing well. Her blood pressure is  fine; her blood work just came back normal and her physician, Dr. Barack, has scheduled her to be discharged tomorrow.”

The grandmother said, “Thank you. That’s wonderful. I was so worried. God bless you for the good news.”

The operator replied, “You’re more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter?”

The grandmother said, “No, I’m Norma Findlay in Room 302. No one tells me shit.”

TRUE STORY (names have been changed to protect the guilty)

H/t our beloved Doc’s Wife  😀

~Eowyn

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Best Ever Senior Citizen Joke


BEST EVER SENIOR CITIZEN JOKE

A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor and says, “Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get started.”
Her neighbor asks, “What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?”
The little silver-haired lady says, “According to the picture on the box, it’s a rooster.”
Her neighbor decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,
“First of all, no matter what we do, we’re not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster.”
He gently takes her hand and says, “Secondly, I want you to relax. Let’s have a nice cup of tea, and then,” he says with a deep sigh …………
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“Let’s put all the Corn Flakes back in the box.”

H/t beloved fellow Sagebrush  😀
~Eowyn

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