Tag Archives: gun hysteria

The Assault-Rifle Cat Caption Contest!

This Caption Contest is now closed.

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This is the 216th world-famous FOTM Caption Contest, the first contest of 2020!

Here’s the pic:

About the pic: On April 25, 2017, Oregon’s Newport Police Department received a report of a cat in a tree armed with an assault rifle. Turns out it was merely a cat with a rather distinctive marking. ( See “Gun Hysteria: Oregon police called to disarm cat with ‘assault rifle’,” April 10, 2018.)

You know the drill:

  • Enter the contest by submitting your caption as a comment on this thread (scroll down until you see the “LEAVE A REPLY” box).
  • The winner of the Caption Contest will get a gorgeous Award Certificate of Excellence and a year’s free subscription to FOTM:D
  • FOTM writers will vote for the winner.
  • Any captions proffered by FOTM writers, no matter how brilliant (ha ha), will not be considered. :(

This contest will be closed in a week, at the end of next Tuesday, January 7, 2020.

To get the contest going, here’s my caption:

“What Democrats see”

For the winner of our last Caption Contest, go here.

~Eowyn

Drudge Report has gone to the dark side. Check out Whatfinger News, the Internet’s conservative frontpage founded by a military veteran!

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Gun Hysteria: Oregon police called to disarm cat with ‘assault rifle’

This would be a Tuesday Funny post, if the matter weren’t so ridiculous and distressing.

The Parkland school shooting and the March For Our Lives protests — the DC permit application for which was made months before the march  (see here and here) — has whipped up Americans into a gun-control hysteria. As an example, police were called to a high school in Oberlin, Louisiana, because some students thought the square-root symbol resembles a gun.

But a year before March For Our Lives, Oregonians had already gone loopy over imagined assault weapons.

On April 25, 2017, Oregon’s Newport Police Department received a report of a cat in a tree armed with an assault rifle. I kid you not.

The Newport Police posted about it on their Facebook page:

Reports of an armed cat this morning were unfounded. The feline was contacted by our canine and was determined to be in…

Posted by Newport Oregon Police Department on Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Liberalism really is a mental disorder, verging on psychosis.

H/t FOTM‘s Anon

~Eowyn

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Insanity: Police called to Louisiana high school because of square-root symbol

Americans really are getting dumber.

Oberlin High School is a public school in Oberlin, Allen Parish, Louisiana, with an enrollment of 290 students, 50% of whom are “minorities” and 57% “economically disadvantaged”. The students are rated 54% and 75% in mathematics and English proficiency, respectively.

Scott Berson reports for the Miami Herald that on February 20, 2018, a discussion among students at Oberlin High School about the square-root mathematical symbol led to the police being called to investigate “terroristic threats”.

A student had been completing a math problem that required drawing the square-root sign. (The square root of a number X is a number Y, which, when multiplied by itself (Y x Y), equals the number X.)

Other students in the group commented that the symbol looked like a gun. Another student said something that, according to the sheriff’s office, could have sounded like a threat out of context.

So the school called the police, who searched one of the students’ home, where they found neither guns nor any evidence that the student had any access to guns. Nor did the police find any evidence that the student had any intent to commit harm.

The Sheriff’s Office concluded that “The student used extremely poor judgment in making the comment, but in light of the actual circumstances, there was clearly no evidence to support criminal charges.”

Nevertheless, the school board had been contacted to determine any disciplinary action for the student.

Lori Lemons is the principal of Oberlin High School:

Phone: (337) 639-4341
Fax: (337) 639-2508
Email: lori.lemons@allen.k12.la.us

H/t FOTM‘s Bongiornoc

~Eowyn

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