Tag Archives: Bird

Crows And Cars

Crow_smokesResearchers for the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority found over 200 dead crows near greater Boston recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu.

A bird pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone’s relief, confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu.

The cause of death appeared to be vehicular impacts.

However, during the detailed analysis it was noted that varying colors of paints appeared on the bird’s beaks and claws.

By analyzing these paint residues it was determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, while only 2% were killed by an impact with a car.

MTA then hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills.

The Ornithological Behaviorist very quickly concluded the cause: when crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger.

The conclusion was that while all the lookout crows could say “Cah”, none could say “Truck.” 


GROAN! 

th_clapping

~Steve~                              H/T  WildBillAlaska

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Taking Down The Bird Feeder. Leave It To Maxine.

Just have to luv Maxine.

Just have to luv Maxine.

Taking down the bird feeder.

This is the best analogy yet!

Leave it to Maxine to come up with a solution For the mess that America is now in economically.


I bought a bird feeder. I hung It on my back porch and filled It with seed. What a beauty of a bird feeder it was, as I filled it, lovingly with seed. Within a week we had hundreds of birds taking advantage of the continuous flow of free and easily accessible food.
But then the birds started building nests in the boards of the patio, above the table, and next to the barbecue.
Then came the poop. It was everywhere: on the patio tile, the chairs, the table…. Everywhere!
Then some of the birds turned mean. They would dive bomb me and try to peck me even though I had fed them out of my own pocket.
And other birds were boisterous and loud. They sat on the feeder and squawked and screamed at all hours of the day and night and demanded that I fill it when it got low on food.
After a while, I couldn’t even sit on my own back porch anymore. So I took down the bird feeder and in three days the birds were gone. I cleaned up their mess and took down the many nests they had built all over the patio.
Soon, the back yard was like it used to be ….. Quiet, serene…. And no one demanding their rights to a free meal.
Now let’s see. Our government gives out free food, subsidized housing, free medical care and free education, and allows anyone born here to be an automatic citizen.
Then the illegals came by the tens of thousands. Suddenly our taxes went up to pay for free services; small apartments are housing 5 families; you have to wait 6 hours to be seen by an emergency room doctor; your child’s second grade class is behind other schools because over half the class doesn’t speak English.
Corn flakes now come in a bilingual box; I have to ‘press one ‘ to hear my bank talk to me in English, and people waving flags other than ‘Old Glory’ are squawking and screaming in the streets, demanding more rights and free liberties.
Just my opinion, but maybe it’s time for the government to take down the bird feeder.
If you agree, pass it on; if not, just continue cleaning up the poop.
~ Steve~                               H/T  My Old Pal Jean

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Uh Oh, He's Back. Little Johnny.


 
 
 
 
 
 
Teacher:- “Right, there are five birds sitting on a telephone line. A farmer comes along with his gun and shoots one of them. How many are left?”
Little Johnny:- “None Miss”.
Teacher:- “Could you tell me why?”
Little Johnny:- “Well Miss, when the farmer shot the bird, the sound of the gun would have frightened the other birds away”.
Teacher:- “Well, the answer I was looking for was four. But I like your thinking.”
Little Johnny:- “Miss, while we’re asking questions, could I ask you one?”
Teacher:- “Its a bit irregular, but go on then”
Little Johnny:- “There are three women sitting on a bench in the park, eating ice lollies. One of them is licking the lolly; one is biting it; and one is putting it in and out of her mouth. Which one is married?”
Teacher (rather embarrassed):- “Err… I suppose it was the last one.”
Little Johnny:- “Well I’d have said the one with the wedding ring. But I like your thinking.”
~Steve~

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Uh Oh, Little Johnny Is Back.

Yea Yea I know. It's Little Johnny's Mentor

 

Teacher:- “Right, there are five birds sitting on a telephone line. A farmer comes along with his gun and shoots one of them. How many are left?”
Little Johnny:- “None Miss”.
Teacher:- “Could you tell me why?”

Little Johnny:- “Well Miss, when the farmer shot the bird, the sound of the gun would have frightened the other birds away”.

Teacher:- “Well, the answer I was looking for was four. But I like your thinking.”

Little Johnny:- “Miss, while we’re asking questions, could I ask you one?”

Teacher:- “Its a bit irregular, but go on then”

Little Johnny:- “There are three women sitting on a bench in the park, eating ice lollies. One of them is licking the lolly; one is biting it; and one is putting it in and out of her mouth. Which one is married?”

Teacher (rather embarrassed):- “Err… I suppose it was the last one.”

Little Johnny:- “Well I’d have said the one with the wedding ring. But I like your thinking.”

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