A Democrat Dies and Meets St. Peter
While walking down the street one day, a Democrat is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in Heaven and is met by St. Peter at the pearly gates.
“Welcome to Heaven,” says St. Peter. “Before you settle in, we want to honor your free will. What we’ll do is have you spend one day in Hell and one day in Heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.”
And with that St. Peter escorts the Democrat to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell.
The doors open and the Democrat finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a club and standing in front of it are all his friends. Everyone is very happy and in fancy evening dress. They run to greet and hug him, and reminisce about the good times they had. They dine on lobster and caviar. Also present is the Devil, who really is a very friendly guy and has a good time dancing and telling jokes.
The Demcrat is having such a good time that before he realizes, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a big hug and waves while the elevator rises. The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens where St. Peter is waiting for him.
St. Peter says, “Now it’s time to visit Heaven.” The Democrat joins a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. Before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.
“Well then, you’ve spent a day in Hell and another in Heaven. Now choose your eternity.”
The Democrat reflects for a minute, then answers, “Well, I would never have thought it. I mean Heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in Hell.”
So St. Peter escorts the Democrat to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell. The doors of the elevator opens. The Democrat finds himself in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash. The Devil comes over to the Democrat and lays an arm on his neck.
“I don’t understand,” the Democrat stammers. “Yesterday I was here and there was a great golf course and club and we ate lobster and caviar and danced and had a good time. Now all there is is a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable.”
The Devil looks at him, smiles, and says, “Of course! Yesterday we were campaigning. Today you voted for us!”