Saturday Funnies

Dumb, dumber, dumbest

Some guy bought a new fridge for his house.

To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: “Free to good home. You want it, you take it.”

For three days the fridge sat there without anyone looking twice.

He eventually decided that people were too mistrustful of this deal. So he changed the sign to read: “Fridge for sale $50.”

The next day someone stole it!

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I was going out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached
to her earring by a chain.

My friend said, “Ouch! The chain must rip out every time she turns her head!”

I had to explain that a person’s nose and ear remain the same distance apart
no matter which way the head is turned.

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I was working at a pizza parlor when a man ordering a small pizza to go.

I asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6.

He thought about it for some time, then said, “Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don’t think I’m hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.”

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A noted psychiatrist was a guest speaker at an academic function where Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi was present. Pelosi took the opportunity to schmooze the good doctor a bit and asked him a question with which he was most at ease.

“Would you mind telling me, Doctor,” she asked, “how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?”

“Nothing is easier,” the psychiatrist replied. “You ask a simple question which anyone should answer with no trouble. If the person hesitates, that puts you on the track.”

“What sort of question?” asked Pelosi.

“Well, you might ask, ‘Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?'”

Pelosi thought a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, “You wouldn’t happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don’t know much about history.”

H/t Shireen 🙂


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Mary Crum
6 years ago

Love the funnies, especially that last one. That was great. Thank you.

Harriet Nelson
6 years ago

Love the last one too. Thanks, needed a chuckle after reading my morning news.

6 years ago

Thanks Dr. Eowyn for the funnies! I love the Pelosi joke – so like her!

Auntie Lulu
Auntie Lulu
6 years ago

Great post! No joking aside, Polosi gets on my “last new nerve” every day in every way. I wish she would return to her vineyard, and drink herself into obviation! That would certainly be better for our country.