Spectacular Job Fails:
And some choice Irish jokes:
Mick says to Paddy: “Close your curtains the next time you’re shagging your wife. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday.”
Paddy says: “Well the joke’s on them stupid idiots, because I wasn’t even home yesterday.”
Reilly went to trial for armed robbery. The jury foreman came out and announced, “Not guilty.:
“That’s grand!” shouted Reilly. “Does that mean I can keep the money?”
An American tourist asks an Irishman: “Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?”
To which the Irishman replies: “If they fell forwards, they’d still be in the bloody boat.”
Murphy told Quinn that his wife was driving him to drink.
Quinn thinks he’s very lucky because his own wife makes him walk.
Mrs. Feeney shouted from the kitchen, “Is that you I hear spittin’ in the vase on the mantel?”
“No,” said Feeney, “but I’m gettin’ closer all the time.”
H/t John Molloy and Ken R.