Pro Homo GQ Loves the Pope

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Letter from the Editor
Pope Francis “Doesn’t Do Fashion”
But we sure like his (actually!) Jesus-y, gay-loving, cooler-than-thou style
December 2014
You know who had a pretty infallible 2014? Pope Francis. I’ve already invited Him to our Men of the Year party, the big bash we do at the Chateau Marmont in L.A. to celebrate the issue—what pontiff can resist the Chateau Marmont?—but I haven’t heard back. I think that means he’s coming. I kept it all very…Latin.
Sure, I fibbed a little. I tried to make it sound like a Holy Day of Obligation that only people in California observe. You could say that I beckoned him. I believe I used the words “The Feast of the Men of the Year.” Threw in a little “Sollemnes Homines Anni.” Pretty sure I nailed it.
I’m told by the Vatican that the Pope “doesn’t do fashion,” but I say He does every time He sashays down the aisle. And I sure hope His Holiness decides to come to L.A. to hang out with Steve Carell and Chris Pratt and the rest of us Homines because, in all honesty, I like this pope a lot. He’s kind, humane, engaged, not like that last grump who walked off the job. Unlike Pope Geezer III, Francis is someone you can relate to. You look at him and you think: That guy just might have a secular agenda.
Did you know he tweets? He tweets! If you need a break from all the snark in the world, follow his feed. It’s the gentlest Twitter feed ever invented. One of my favorites: “Dear young people, do not be mediocre.” (Good advice! And think about it: He’s practically imploring you to subscribe to GQ.) Sometimes he’ll just tweet to spirits, like this one: “Come, Holy Spirit.” How cool is that? Like, he just wants to hang out. If I were the Holy Spirit, I’d retweet that shit a thousand times.
But the real reason I’m declaring Him our Holy Man of the Year is that he’s trying to push the Catholic Church into the twenty-first century, where it doesn’t seem to want to live, trying to open its creaky leaden doors to the realities of the world. And here’s the doctrinal shocker: Francis doesn’t think divorced people, or couples shacking up together, or gays and lesbians are evil. He believes they should be welcomed, not shunned. In the Catholic Church, this makes him close to a heretic. In October, he even had a committee declare that there are “positive aspects of civil unions and cohabitation,” that gay Catholics have certain “gifts and qualities,” and that everyone should “experiment with three-ways.”
Okay, I made up that last part about threesomes. But still! Theologically speaking, that’s rad. (Or is it? We did our own calculations here at GQ and found that tens of millions of Americans have divorced, lived together, or failed to pray the gay away. If welcoming that many people is considered radical, we’ve lost our sense of radical.)
Well, God made His decision: Lightning did not strike the Vatican!
What did strike the Vatican was panic. Hard-line bishops got their vestments in a bunch and managed, in a sense, to overrule the Pope. (Which I don’t get, since I thought He was infallible.) They watered down the final report, changed words in translation, and generally acted like it was 1572. They dropped language about “welcoming” gays and even changed the phrase homosexual “partners” to the dreaded “these people.” (As in: Some of my best friends are “these people.”)
It won’t last. This pope is too cool, too charismatic, and too righteous. And Jesus, who welcomed all, rolled with prostitutes, and got pissed at people with “stubborn hearts,” is on His side.
So am I.

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0 responses to “Pro Homo GQ Loves the Pope

  1. When the gays go gaga over a pope…..Rome, we have a problem. 😳😳

    • Just wait until the pope invites lady gaga, Madonna and a bunch of black gangsta rappers to the Vatican 🙁
      I gave up on the infallibility of the pope decades ago. I still have not recovered from being raised in a pre Vatican II family, wherever you turned everything is a sin and Jesus is always watching to send bad girls and boys to .hell
      As I look at Roaming Catholicism now it appears more like some new age pagan cult. When the pope stated that when space aliens arrive they would be there to baptize them. Hmmm interesting thought, baptising the fallen angels
      Pope Benedict was bad enough. Every time I saw his picture he looked downright evil. Francis appears so benign………on the surface

  2. The problem with this pope is he simply can’t shut up. Instead he seems to have oral diarrhea that requires people in the Vatican and elsewhere to constantly scurry to “clarify” what he meant after he’s spoken.
    In March 2014, Francis said the church is open to the idea of homosexual “civil unions.”
    Then in December, while urging parents to “stand by” their homosexual children, Francis said gay marriage is not (yet) on the church’s “agenda” — whatever that means.
    Some say Francis’ peripatetic frenzy is due to his sense of urgency: He thinks we are in the end days, and that the Anti-Christ is already among us.

  3. Pick your friends wisely……

  4. I don’t know what to think of this Pope. It doesn’t hurt to pray for him.

  5. Well the Holy Word of God says that any sex B4/or outside marriage=sin, wrong, evil; abomination, that those who Do and Don’t repent-Refrain from that sin-will Not get to Heaven. (God didn’t say-when the % who DO This is large enough-I will withdraw that sin). He also said almost 30 times; sodomite relationships are wrong, sin, abomination, etc. I DO AGREE WITH POPE…ALL OF ABOVE=”WELCOME TO RCC! YOU ALL ARE ALSO WELCOME TO CONFESS ABOVE SINS AND REPENT AND WITHDRAW FROM THAT SIN…!! DON’T LIKE THIS??? YOU WILL GET TO TELL GOD THAT SOME DAY…(ps) I really don’t care what you think, reply, ‘vote’ etc…only will answer to God who Wrote the above laws…..

  6. Sounds almost like the Pope hasn’t read the Bible,or maybe he keeps missing God’s thoughts on what SIN is.

  7. Sound like the “pope” needs to become Catholic…

  8. Man, you write good! (However, it is necessary to understand the big picture to properly follow this work. Don’t worry, though, almost everybody will say that they fully understand.)

  9. Despite the pope’s shortcomings, we can’t give up on the church. It’s still the left’s number one enemy.

    • Mike, I respectfully disagree. This “New Religion” created by Vat2 gave us a new liturgy, new sacraments and a “Novus Ordo” (New Order) Protestant worship service. There is nothing Catholic about this new religion.
      It embraces communism, a false ecumenism and is positioning itself as the One World Religion. It was created BY the left, not in spite of it, and poses little or no opposition to it.
      The TRUE Catholic Church slipped into the catacombs in 1958.
      “The day the Church abandons her universal tongue [Latin] is the day before she returns to the catacombs” — Pope Pius XII

    • Despite Pope Francis’ and the church’s many shortcomings, the fact is the Catholic Church and Catholics are nearly alone in continuing to vocally vehemently oppose abortion, as well as stand for life: pro-life; anti-fetal stem cell research; anti-euthanasia.

      • The USCCB was instrumental in pushing through Obamacare and really had little or no reaction to the abortion mandate therein. The Archdiocese of New York has been offering abortion and abortifacients to their employees for YEARS. The CCHD as well as “Catholic” Relief Services have a long standing tradition of funding abortion as well as being in partnership with Planned Parenthood. To my profound embarrassment, it seems the Evengelicals have been leading the fight against abortion and Obamacare. I cancelled my health insurance 2 years ago when the abortifacient mandate came into effect. Where was the “church” calling on all catholics to say not just no, but HELL NO to Obamacare?

  10. Hmmm…the Orthodox Church says the Antichrist will be a sodomite. Makes you wonder.

  11. A major problem that few really know or bother to find out is this: The media’s reporting on what Pope Francis says is highly selective.
    Here are 2 examples:
    1. In comments at his Monday in-air interview that were totally ignored by the mainstream media, Pope Francis lamented the Western practice of imposing a homosexual agenda on other nations through foreign aid, which he called a form of “ideological colonization” and compared to the Nazi propaganda machine.
    2. During his in-air interview on January 19, the pope called the imposition of “gender theory” a form of “ideological colonization.”


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