Of course: Chivalry Is Sexist!

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Huffington Post: Chivalry is dead, at least as far as equal rights are concerned.
A new study out of Northeastern University in Boston says there are two types of sexists out there. Acts of so-called chivalry, like paying for dinner, offering up jackets and calling a women ‘love’ or ‘dear’ can be signs of “benevolent sexists,” according to psychologist Jin Goh, while “hostile sexists” are those who specifically leave housework to wives and girlfriends, or wolf whistle at women walking down the street.

Judith Hall

Judith Hall

People don’t typically associate sexism with the warmth and friendliness benevolent sexists display, Goh explained to the Telegraph. While some women consider the behaviour of benevolent sexists to be gentlemanly and courteous, co-author and psychology professor Judith Hall at the Boston-based university told the Daily Mail that “benevolent sexism is like a wolf in sheep’s clothing — [it] perpetuates support for gender inequality.”
The study, which paired 27 men with women between the ages of 18 and 22, encouraged the individuals to take a quiz and get to know each other. Rating their agreement on statements like ““a good woman should be set on a pedestal by her man” and “women are too easily offended” helped differentiate between the two types of sexists.
So does that mean we should do away with chivalry altogether? Not necessarily. As Australia’s News.com points out, if a man is carrying out these actions because he believes a woman is fragile, and thus requires protection, then he’s being sexist. But if he’s doing it to be kind? That’s just being polite.
Peter Glick, author of the original benevolent sexism study, says the intention is not to make men feel like they should stop being courteous, but rather knowing when they are crossing the line. In his 1996 report, Glick said people in general find benevolent sexism more desirable than detrimental, but it still promotes gender inequality.
In many cases men don’t even realize they are being sexist. In 2011 psychologists Janet Swim and Julia Becker looked at the differences in how men and women recognize and respond to sexism in their daily lives. Swim explained that men continued sexist behaviour after it was recognized, but revealed they were more sympathetic when asked to look at the comments from a woman’s perspective.
On International Women’s Day Emma Watson, UN Goodwill Ambassador for Women, took to Facebook to discuss, among other topics, the act of chivalry and how it should really be consensual. Watson noted she wouldn’t be offended if a man held a door open for her, since he’s just being courteous, but to her, the real question is whether or not he would mind if she held the door open for him.
Watson’s wise words are worthy of a deeper conversation. Can we stop calling it chivalry and focus on gender-less courtesy?

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0 responses to “Of course: Chivalry Is Sexist!

  1. **Castle imposed Narrative**
    I am compelled to place this post by Poet-Historian Harry Shaw:
    Where is it that modern liberal-progressives get off insisting that their chosen leaders are granted some kind of supreme nobility? Just because one practices Plato’s “Noble Lie” does not make a leader the least bit noble–especially considering that the modern liberal-progressive movement has long ago given up its embrace of individual liberties as the foundation of its cause. Collectivist-socialist liberties are instead trumpeted as the paragons of all virtue. In fact, to believe that our collective rights supersede and supplant our individual rights, is to buy into the Mother of All Noble Lies. Therein lies the root of modern political and ideological conflict. ~ Excerpt from A Lie By Any Other Name https://wp.me/p1amkx-1Es

  2. Kevin J Lankford

    I had always thought that being courteous to a woman was an acknowledgement that she was a woman and a sign of respect. Showing such courtesy to another man would be a sign of being gay.
    I can only wonder about women who resent the courtesy of men. Though I do know many will distinguish courtesy from sexism based on the attractiveness of the man.

  3. The only thing this type of research does is confuse our sons and daughters as to how to behave around the opposite sex. Since there are no clear guidelines anymore they cannot distinguish between “Do I, or Do I not” and if the parents are not there at that instance to guide them they feel lost and confused. I for one would vote for going back to the “way we were!” Where men were men and women were women. I have nothing against women doing things that men do, but making a career out of it is another thing. Now to let you know where I come from on this: My father was a farmer. He had three daughters and one son. He had between two-hundred fifty to three hundred head of sheep, about one hundred head of cows and we raised all the hay to feed them and a garden to feed ourselves. Although my sisters and I worked very hard, there were certain things that my father would absolutely not let us girls do. Simply because he felt that it could harm us as females.
    I used to joke about my father being a “women’s libber” way before Gloria Steinman came along! In today’s world my father would be a sexist. To me he had the “women’s lib” thing down pat.

  4. “In many cases men don’t even realize they are being sexist.”
    Really? In other words, these feminists know the minds and sub/unconscious of men better than men themselves.
    Men simply can’t win: whether men agree or disagree, they are sexist. The only option is to surrender.

  5. My own little experiment tells me also a man cannot win. Here I the soviet people’s republic of taxachusetts whenever I have held a door for a young woman in Boston or Harvard Square they just leer at you, probably thinking that this dirty old troll just wants to get into their perfect pants. If they are in front of me they always let the door slam in my face….interesting twist, when I have returned the favor and let the door slam in little princess precious’ face their butt hurt can be heard for 500 feet. The millennials and gen-x PC wimmins are the worst

    • art,
      Then you are encountering a highly select group of women. I’m always grateful and say “Thank you” when any person, male or female, holds open a door for me. I also do the same for others.

    • Art . . . Please don’t stop being the classy, cultured man you are–continue to hold doors. We women (at least the ones that have not been brain-washed) appreciate these manly, considerate gestures. I have adopted the attitude of saying “thank you” in a voice which is loud enough that the person who is giving the gift of courtesy can actually hear me; perhaps in the past I just mumbled “thank you.” When I visit my local library, the doors are very heavy–I always make sure that I hold the door for the next person who is coming or going, whether it be man, woman or child. The gift of acting in a courteous manner marks us as being “a cut above the ordinary,” even if the yahoos who are receiving this courtesy do not acknowledge it. God Bless all the other people out there who are “a cut above the ordinary!”

  6. Well, I guess I probably should attribute the responses I receive to my advancing age; although most women I meet (Dr.’s receptionists, Nurses, Medical Techs, etc) tell me I look 15 years younger than my 72 years. I used to think that they were just casual compliments, but way too many have said it.
    Now for the responses I get: they are overwhelmingly positive; and I always (at least whenever possible) open doors for women, allow them to enter and exit an elevator before me, ask what floor they’re going to so as to enter the floor button, and every other gentlemanly courteous act I can do. None of these acts of mine have ever had anything to do with me thinking they were less strong, or (heaven forbid; inferior); but rather this is the way I was brought up by my Father, Grandfathers, Uncles, and all other males in our family.
    Now to really amaze everyone; I still open the car doors for my 39 year-old Daughter, and my two Granddaughters (ages 16 & 10). They all genuinely appreciate it, but because I am a disabled Veteran, they don’t expect it.

    • elihew . . . God Bless you, you are instrumental in teaching your daughter, and granddaughters what “real men are made of.” Keep it up, you can’t go wrong.

  7. Everyone has pretty well covered it here. All I can add is that to be a male in the south, it is not just good manors to treat women like women, it’s considered quite rude and lacking in breading if you do not. Call me a “sexist” if you wish, but I have to warn you, my mother carries a .357 and would take offense to it.

  8. PA-LEEZE. So much angst over something so biologically “supra’normal.” It’s called “selfish genes,” in biology. You must protect your future genetic existence on Earth—be you a homo sapien or a feathered eagle…..
    A woman biologically carries ALL the eggs she will ever have the moment she is born. The health of these eggs depends upon the health and DNA and all the environment/nutrition/safety that surrounded HER mother…from whose egg she developed…and the mother of HER mother, influenced the health and existence of HER…and so it goes….backward in time like dominoes in reverse.
    This is the STUFF of the future of mankind. Beyond that, biologically, she carries the mitochondrial DNA of EVERY WOMAN WHO CAME BEFORE HER….BACK TO EVE. I don’t care who you think “EVE” was or is or might have been…it is a biological FACT that a woman passes on IN TACT the genetic DNA that goes back to the VERY FIRST WOMAN ON EARTH. If she begets a boy child…the line comes to a dead stop after him…but if she begets a girl child…the line is unbroken back to the FIRST WOMAN who passed this genetic DNA to her girl child and will be passed on at LEAST another generation. I don’t care how “politically correct” you try to be…how gay/lesbian/transexual/whatever you “FEEL” like….you can NOT FOOL MOTHER NATURE. These are the genetic facts of existence on this planet! So, what is my point?
    My point is….if all the eggs of your future existence as mankind on EARTH are being carried in one a basket as SHE passes you by….you MIGHT show her honor and the knowledge of her importance by OPENING THE DAMNED DOOR for her. You might cherish her, protect her, and honor her in cultural ways that are not “benevolent sexism” but an honor to our future as mankind AND…telegraphs that she and and what she embodies is important,to be honored, and to be preserved and protected for ALL our sakes. Do Ya Think you can do that in culturally telegraphed sublte ways, like opening the DAMNED DOOR in tribute…without sending up a huge stinking fog of “gender inequality” to choke us into the grave or some such thing??????
    Personally, I’d like them to stop playing that imperial “Hail to the Chief” ruffle and flourish crap if we’re going to be dropping all our inequalities…..gender and otherwise.


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