DARPA scientists: Young Obama went to Mars

Being a blogger, I’m constantly trawling the net for news. Rarely, however, have I come across a piece of news this bizarre. It does not appear to be a hoax.
There is an agency within the U.S. Department of Defense called the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, better known by its acronym DARPA.

Headquartered in Arlington, Virginia, DARPA is charged with developing new military technology. The agency focuses on short-term (2 to 4 years) projects and is independent from other more conventional military R&D, reporting directly to senior Department of Defense management. DARPA has around 240 personnel and a budget of $3.2 billion. Since its founding in 1958, DARPA has been responsible for funding the development of many technologies that have had a major effect on the world, such as computer networking.
DARPA has six program offices, all of which report to the DARPA director. The current DARPA director (since 2009) is Regina E. Dugan.
Some of DARPA’s current active projects are:

DARPA (under its first name, ARPA) was created 1958 in response to the 1957 Soviet launching of Sputnik. Given its beginning and its mission to develop cutting-edge military technology, the news that two DARPA scientists claim they once served as chrononauts (time-traveling, universe-exploring government agents) may not be completely outlandish.
What is outlandish is that the two scientists say they had been accompanied on a Mars mission by a teenage Barack Obama, then named Barry Soetoro.

Finally the mystery of the Face on Mars is solved! It’s Barack Obama!

Spencer Ackerman reports for science and technology magazine Wired, Jan. 3, 2012:

As a young man in the early 1980s, Obama was part of a secret CIA project to explore Mars. The future president teleported there, along with the future head of Darpa.

That’s the assertion, at least, of a pair of self-proclaimed time-traveling, universe-exploring government agents. Andrew D. Basiago and William Stillings insist that they once served as “chrononauts” at Darpa’s behest, traversing the boundaries of time and space. They swear: A youthful Barack Obama was one of them. […]

As “Barry Soetero,” the 19-year-old Obama was one of 10 youths selected to secretly teleport to and from Mars, forming a band of interplanetary Teen Titans. Regina Dugan, the director of Darpa, was another member.

Between 1981 and 1983, Obama is supposed to have visited Mars twice, by way of a teleportation chamber called a “jump room.” Basiago, a fellow chrononaut, told the website Exopolitics that he saw Obama “walk back to the jump room from across the Martian terrain.” To acknowledge his comrade, Obama is said to have told Basiago, “We’re here” — apparently, “with some sense of fatalism.”

It is not known what exactly Obama did on Mars. […] “Simply put, your task is to be seen and not eaten,” an elder chrononaut, retired Army Maj. Ed Dames, is alleged to have told a young Obama.

Ackerman reports that “Officially, the White House says Obama never went to Mars.”
Maybe that’s why Obama ended NASA’s manned space program. He’s been there and done that! LOL
~Eowyn

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lowtechgrannie lowtechgrannie

Consider if you will, they went to Mars and found a young man they named Barry Soetoro and brought him back to earth with them. If he is actually a Martian, it’s no wonder he can’t provide proof of natural born citizenship! ROFL!

khetaamenti
khetaamenti
8 years ago

Talk about a stranger in a strange land, you groak?

joandarc
Editor
8 years ago

I wonder why they chose Obama to go to Mars? I like the idea of remote controlled insects and a flying car! Maybe Obama should go back to Mars! Incidentally, thank you, Dr. Eowyn, for this fascinating post!

art
art
5 years ago
Reply to  joandarc

I might believe it more if Barry Soetoro had traveled to Uranus 🙂 Seems he had made a number of trips to Uranus with his gay playmates, who all later wound up dead for some strange reason
This story would at least make a good Sci-Fi story

truckjunkie
truckjunkie
5 years ago
Reply to  joandarc

It’s like something out of “Forrest Gump”,isn’t it?

Dave
Editor
8 years ago

LOL – I wish he would go back to Mars and this time stay there. 🙂
-Dave

Trail Dust
Admin
8 years ago

Darn!!! Where did I put my tin foil hat?!!!

Trail Dust
Admin
8 years ago

My all time favorite fiction about Mars is “Out of the Silent Planet” by C.S. Lewis. Its companion books are remarkably prescient in their description of the rising threat of a worldwide distopia called the National Institute for Coordinated Experiments (NICE). The author had a sly sense of humor in his recognition that the vilest organizations often cover themselves with names that are euphemistic acronyms.
“ACORN”! How “NICE”!

DCG
DCG
8 years ago

Too bad he came back to earth…

goldbug36
8 years ago

Once a space case, always a space case! Maybe he was the Imperial Ruler of Mars, chin jutting toward the heavens, his finger on the red button, oops, kaboom! Now, he’s trying to render planet Earth uninhabitable.

Aragon
Aragon
8 years ago

This makes so much sense.

pnordman
6 years ago

Wow, thanks so much for getting this out again! The final piece to this crazy puzzle – haha!
2 Thessalonians 2:9: “Even him, whose coming is after the working of Satan with all power and signs and lying wonders…”

truckjunkie
truckjunkie
5 years ago
Reply to  Dr. Eowyn

Can we now blame Obama for not putting this Technology to better use?

Larry Fields
Larry Fields
6 years ago

Speaking of Mars, here’s an Obama mind-reading quote. It’s not well-known, because he thought it, but never said it!
“Take me to your leader. Oh, wait a minute; I am your leader. Never mind.”

Andy
Andy
1 year ago

I think I’d donate my entire savings down to my very last dollar, if we could get Barack to go back to Mars and stay there, forever.
Barack is an Alinsky, a Radical Marxist! And his cohorts with Frank Marshall Davis, who was a known Communist.

Communists are from Mars.