Movie with worst opening weekend of all time

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Even little kiddies can spot crap.

Even little kids have more discriminating taste than to see a movie with an icky-sweet title “The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure,” featuring plastic puppets with the cutesy name of “Oogies,” who live in a place called Lovelyloveville. (Someone pass me the barf bag!)

Grady Smith reports for Inside Movies, Sept. 2, 2012:

After its inauspicious opening Wednesday, when the bizarre kiddie flick The Oogieloves in the BIG Balloon Adventure earned a shockingly low $47 average at each theater, it looked like it could be headed for the worst opening weekend of all time for a film playing in over 2,000 theaters.

Well, it happened.

According to studio estimates, the colorful toddler-targeting entry, which is being distributed by Kenn Viselman Presents (Viselman formerly found massive success as producer of The Teletubbies), earned a truly awful $448,131 from 2,160 theaters in its debut three-day weekend.

That gross yielded a per theater average of $207. Yes, you’re reading that correctly: $207!

Just how low is that? Let’s pretend that the average ticket price for each customer was about $7 this weekend. That would mean that only 30 people saw Oogieloves at each theater — across all its showings — over the past three days.

The film, which stars a series of creepy costumed characters with names like Toofie, Zoozie, and Goobie, as well as a vacuum cleaner named J. Edgar (and not to mention Jamie Pressly, Cary Elwes, Christopher Lloyd, and Toni Braxton, whose heart will never unbreak now), cost $20 million to produce, and another reported $40 million to promote.

Here’s the trailer:

$60 million down the toilet.

Whose bright idea was this to make this putrid piece of excrement?

~Eowyn

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0 responses to “Movie with worst opening weekend of all time

  1. Lol this blog post cracks me up because the choice of subject matter and the choice of intelligent words to express your intense displeasure, “putrid piece of excrement”, reminds me of my brother and me when we were preteens/early teens railing against stuff like Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood.

    That preview (and I guess the movie itself) does manage to have the redeeming quality of playing “Starships” by Nicki Minaj in the background. Though she doesn’t tend to have the most intelligent music in general, I had recently discovered that song the other day and found it to have a satisfying beat.

     
  2. The sequels will be much, much better:
    The Oogieloves In The Big Scary Chainsaw Adventure;
    Oogieloves Don’t Live To See The Taliban Sunrise;
    Stalking Oogieloves;
    Death Becomes Oogieloves;
    Oogiveloves As Appetizers: A Moment of Delicious Truth Movie:

     
  3. Wow, screwed up my user name, huh?

     
  4. This beats the crap out of “Springtime for Hitler.”

     
  5. wow christopher lloyd i always liked him as jim in taxi and as the doctor in the time travel movies back to the future or some such thing..

     
  6. It sounds like a cute movie. I feel sorry for them. Maybe I’ll try to see it.

     

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