Even little kiddies can spot crap.
Even little kids have more discriminating taste than to see a movie with an icky-sweet title “The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure,” featuring plastic puppets with the cutesy name of “Oogies,” who live in a place called Lovelyloveville. (Someone pass me the barf bag!)
Grady Smith reports for Inside Movies, Sept. 2, 2012:
After its inauspicious opening Wednesday, when the bizarre kiddie flick The Oogieloves in the BIG Balloon Adventure earned a shockingly low $47 average at each theater, it looked like it could be headed for the worst opening weekend of all time for a film playing in over 2,000 theaters.
Well, it happened.
According to studio estimates, the colorful toddler-targeting entry, which is being distributed by Kenn Viselman Presents (Viselman formerly found massive success as producer of The Teletubbies), earned a truly awful $448,131 from 2,160 theaters in its debut three-day weekend.
That gross yielded a per theater average of $207. Yes, you’re reading that correctly: $207!
Just how low is that? Let’s pretend that the average ticket price for each customer was about $7 this weekend. That would mean that only 30 people saw Oogieloves at each theater — across all its showings — over the past three days.
The film, which stars a series of creepy costumed characters with names like Toofie, Zoozie, and Goobie, as well as a vacuum cleaner named J. Edgar (and not to mention Jamie Pressly, Cary Elwes, Christopher Lloyd, and Toni Braxton, whose heart will never unbreak now), cost $20 million to produce, and another reported $40 million to promote.
Here’s the trailer:
$60 million down the toilet.
Whose bright idea was this to make this putrid piece of excrement?