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My Wife Is Missing

Husband: “My wife is missing. She went to Walmart yesterday and has not come home!”

Officer: “Age?”

Husband: “I’m not sure. Somewhere between 50 and 60. We don’t do birthdays.”

Officer: “Height?”

Husband: “I’m not sure. A little over five-feet tall.”

Officer: “Weight?”

Husband: “Don’t know. Not slim, not really fat.”

Officer: “Color of eyes?”

Husband: “Um, sort of brown, I think. Never really noticed.”

Officer: “Color of hair?”

Husband: “Changes a couple times a year. Maybe dark brown now. I can’t remember.”

Officer: “What was she wearing?”

Husband: “Could have been pants, or maybe a skirt or shorts. I don’t know exactly.”

Officer: “What kind of car did she go in?”

Husband: “She went in my truck.”

Officer: “What kind of truck was it?”

Husband: “A 2017, manufactured September 16th, pearl white Ram Limited 4X4. with 6.4l Hemi V8 engine ordered with the Ram Box bar and fridge option, led lighting, back up and front camera, Moose hide leather heated and cooled seats, climate controlled air conditioning. It has a custom matching white cover for the bed, Weather Tech floor mats. Trailing package with gold hitch, sunroof, DVD with full GPS navigation, satellite radio, Cobra 75 WX ST 40-channel CB radio, six cup holders, 3 USB ports, and 4 power outlets. I added special alloy wheels and off-road Toyo tires. It has custom retracting running boards and underglow wheel well lighting.”

At this point, the husband started choking up.

Officer: “Take it easy sir. We’ll find your truck!”


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1 month ago

Oh that third one is funny!!

1 month ago

Ha ha ha ha haaa!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂 Humor is an “essential bizness!” 😉

Why are married women heavier than single women?

Single women come home, see what’s in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what’s in bed and go to the fridge.

1 month ago

The wife wanted to go somewhere shes never been and do something shes never done.
I told her to go in the kitchen and make me a sammich!

1 month ago

Officer: “Take it easy sir. We’ll find your truck!” 😀
I love it!

Steven Broiles
1 month ago

The truck joke was funny! All good ones, of course.