Monday Funnies


A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas, and talked with an old rancher.

He told the rancher, “I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs.”

The rancher said, “Okay , but don’t go in that field over there….,” as he pointed out the location.

The DEA officer got red in the face and exploded, “Mister! I have the authority!”

Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher.

“See this badge?!  This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish. On any land!!  No questions asked or answers given!! Do you understand?!!  HAVE I MADE MYSELF CLEAR?!!!!!!”

The rancher nodded politely, apologized, and went about his chores.

A short time later, the old rancher heard loud screams, looked up, and saw the DEA officer running for his life, being chased by the rancher’s big Santa Gertrudis bull.


With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it seemed likely that he’d sure enough get gored before he reached safety.

The officer was clearly terrified.

The rancher threw down his tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of his lungs.

“Your badge, show him your BADGE…….. !!!”

H/t FOTM’s KenL. 😀


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I can see it now . Said bull sees badge and says to himself : BADGES , DON’T NEED NO STINKING BADGES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Thanks Steve! That’s hilarious!

Dressage Rider
Dressage Rider

I have a friend who feeds her bulls week old Krispy Cream doughnuts so they can be handled easier, especially when sending them to market (and you have to get them in the truck. She always joked, “they’d half kill ya being friendly.”

David Dickey

Dont let PETA see that donut story! they’ll go berserk


LOL that’s great! Thanks, doc!