Marriage advice – from a 29-year-old divorcee?

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Divorced 29-year-old says people under 25 shouldn’t be allowed to marry recently divorced woman has a message for those under 25 considering tying the knot: Don’t!  In a column for The Huffington Post, 29-year- old Toronto PR professional Jennifer Nagy is making a case for why people under the age of 25 shouldn’t be allowed to marry.
“I do believe that it would be for the best, better both for the institution of marriage and the individuals getting married, if we could change the law to prevent couples from getting married before the age of 25,” Nagy writes.
Nagy got married when she was 24-years-old, and by age 29, after a nine-year relationship, she and her husband separated.  “I was with this person since I was 19 and I found in my experience that going through a long-term relationship starting when you’re so young and you don’t have the knowledge of yourself and what you want in life, wasn’t necessarily the best idea,” says Nagy.
She says in her case, she’d been so focused on working and developing a career she hadn’t really spent a lot of time considering who she was and what she wanted, and when she finally took the time, she realized she felt pretty disconnected from the life she’d established for herself.
“I found myself as a much older woman realizing that I didn’t really know myself. I didn’t feel connected to my life. Once I decided that, it was very tough to be able to continue with a marriage and a life that I didn’t feel any connection to.”
In her column, Nagy cites statistics from the National Center for Health that says around 60 percent of marriages of couples between the ages of 20 and 25 end in divorce.
Nagy says she doesn’t expect every marriage between people under age 25 will go bust, but she does think it makes things more difficult.  “I do definitely think that there are people out there that can make it work,” says Nagy.
“I think the reason I wrote this article was because I wanted to raise awareness of the fact that people should be thinking about more than just ‘I love this person and I want to get married,'” says Nagy. “I think there should be some thought about who I am and whether I’m ready for this, and whether my maturity level, and my potential spouse, whether their maturity levels, are high enough to really survive the ups and downs of marriage.”
So does Nagy believe her marriage would have lasted if she married at 25-years-old instead of 24?  I doubt it. 
She’s entitled to her opinion, of course.  Yet that doesn’t mean it should be a law.  Nor does it guarantee that everyone that marries after the age of 25 will remain in a committed marriage.  Just ask Al Gore, Andrew Cuomo, Newt Gingrich, and Rush Limbaugh.

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0 responses to “Marriage advice – from a 29-year-old divorcee?

  1. Winston Smith

    Besides, a fat lot of good such a Law as this would do – the [pre]teen pregnancy/abortion rate is out the top! And denied the right to marry – they’d still shack-up and crank out babies.

  2. Sounds so ridiculous to spend time on a law such as this. Would love, rather, to see some laws on educating our youth on how to be in effective relationships. Teaching communication skills, conflict resolution, self awareness. That might help us lower the divorce rate.
    Very interesting post. Thank you.

  3. When you’re twitter-pated age doesn’t really matter until your
    feet get back on the ground … which for me was about eighteen
    years if you don’t count the dozen it’s taken to learn to walk again.
    Legislation is about the force of law….love is an undeniable force
    of nature that defies man’s logic.

  4. Another individual lacking intelligence. It’s not necessarily your age but the love and concern the two are willing to give for the honor of one another. Faith in God should be a good standard before marriage in light of the fact eaxh of the two getting married are taking an oath to honor each other before God himself. For unbelievers their is no foundation for an oath. But God himself has specifically said, I hate divorce. Marriage is holy. It is also a bond in the creation of life.

  5. I know what you mean, I was 19, my wife was 18. We have been married for 36 years (as of last April 23), I don’t know if it will work, but so far I have her fooled and we are still married. 😉

    • Winston Smith

      It’s not been that long ago – one or two generations – when folks would get married as early as their MIDDLE TEENS and grow VERY old TOGETHER. Are “liddle kiddles”, today too stupid, shallow, uncaring or ??? to think beyond the end of this season of “Friends:?

  6. Sometimes the longer ppl wait to get married the harder it is….someone told me that he had lived by himself for so long that it was hard to live with his spouse after he got married. He liked things a certain way. Plus, going thru the hard times together can make the marriage stronger…at least that is my grandmother’s opinion (she married at 17).

    • Valid point… my folks just celeberated their 50th two years ago… know about the spellin…

  7. There are no hard and fast rules. One person’s experience is just that. It’s a real crap shoot this thing called “life”. And that’s a big part of the magic.

  8. Keep in perspective this is more refuse from the liberal waste bin, the Huff n Puff Post. “Could we possibly control your life a leetle more, dahling?”


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