Male vs Female At The ATM

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A new sign in the Bank reads:
‘Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.
Customers using this new facility are
requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.
After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender.’


MALE PROCEDURE:
1… Drive up to the ATM.
2. LOWER your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Raise window.
7. Drive off..


FEMALE PROCEDURE:
(Unfortunately, most of this is true.!!)   Hey, He said it not me..  😀
1. Drive up to ATM machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Put hand brake on, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on mobile phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Attempt to  Re-insert card the right way.
10. Get out of car and pick up card you dropped.
10. Insert card
11. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
12. Enter PIN …
13. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Decide to check balance.
14. Take slip with balance and press new transaction.
14. Redo steps 6-12
15. Enter amount of cash required.
16. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
17. Retrieve cash and receipt.
18. Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside.
19. Write debit amount in cheque book and place receipt in back of it.
20. Re-check makeup.
21. Drive forward 2 feet.
22. Reverse back to ATM machine.
23. Retrieve card.
24. Re-empty hand bag, locate card
holder, and place card into the slot provided.
25. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
26. Restart stalled engine and drive off.
27. Redial person on mobile phone.
28. Drive for 2 to 3 kilometres.
29. Release Hand Brake.
30. Don’t kill the messenger.  😀
~Steve~                          H/T  I-Man

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0 responses to “Male vs Female At The ATM

  1. It’s “jokes” like this that lends fuel to PC.
    I’m a woman and I’m always organized and prepared when I go to the ATM machine. I challenge Mr. macho I-Man to an efficiency duel against me — any time.

     
  2. So how are they at the polling booth?

     
  3. hehehe 🙂 I don’t do drive-ups…did you ever drop your
    card under the car? Doing things like that and even toll-
    baskets is too stressful for me…so I go in and have a flirt
    with the girls at the counter.Sometimes they give me a candy.
    I also give fair warning in the grocery that any line is faster than
    the one that follows me.

     
    • Steve~
      I am MOST DEFINITELY this woman! But you forgot one…..I am usually slapping towards the back seat screaming “BE QUIET”! So the man behind me is too scared to ever quit smiling even if he is irritated. Besides, you guys don’t realize that the car is the only place a mother can legally tie her child to a seat! When do men expect us to do our makeup? 😉

       
      • HAHAHAHA! Oops! Hehehe… 🙂
        Hey, what can I say, I’m honest. In fact, as we speak….one just tip-toed into the kitchen and is trying to get the candy outa of the cabinet. He thinks he is being sneaky.

         
  4. ROFL!! alright sometimes my honesty gets me into trouble,I’ve been behind these kind of women before and it’s not fun!! I’m only laughing cause I’m not behind one now!!!!!

     
  5. I just get cash back at the checkout line at Publix. 🙂
    It’s quick, safe, easy, and free (for now, anyway).
    -Dave

     
  6. Steve,
    LOL – Ain’t nuthin’ wrong with stirrin’ the puddin’ now and then.
    Hell, I do it all the time. 😀
    -Dave

     
  7. I thought this article hit the nail on the head and was funny! The last time I did this….I finally left. I couldn’t find my card…that night, my hubby dug it outa the CD player. One of the kiddos had stuffed it into the cd slot! What can I say….Sh*t happens! 🙂

     
    • Hehehehe….now that is one I haven’t heard! Boy is 4 girl is 3. They double team me. A couple of days ago my little girl spilt whole box of cereal. While we were cleaning it up, son went out to the storage building and drug out the blow up Santa Claus for the front yard. When I walked into the living room, there was the blow up Santa, jumping in and out of the Christmas tree. I couldn’t help it, I had to laugh! I swear they had planned it! 🙂

       
      • Well….I think mine are cute but I don’t know if everyone else thinks they are. They are both very strong minded {don’t know where they get that from 😉 }. I know that someday I will be glad, but it makes everyday…..what’s the word….interesting! Very fun though! God has taught me a lot, a lot, a lot! 12 yrs old is when urs starts getting busy right? I bet y’all are having fun! My little brother graduated last yr, he is 10 yrs younger, and my mom is suffering from empty nest like u cannot imagine! And I live not even a BLOCK from her! from 12 on it flies by!

         
  8. That was stupid

     
  9. All the extra-complexity of the Ladies methodology has to do with ‘Brain Development and Preservation’. Us guys tend to ‘short cutting’ and eventually end up begging for mercy from the Ladies.

     
  10. Still here waiting at the ATM.

     

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