Letter by a Job Applicant

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Re-hire Me, Please

September 20, 2011
To all my employers:
Yes, I know now that I applied for this position with too little experience and even less competence.  And I know that my performance has been a disappointment to a lot of you… okay, most of you. 
But it is with hope, bordering on great confidence, that I can now assure you:  Not only have I learned a lot from my mistakes, there are going to be improvements – big ones. They are coming any day now. 
Every week or so, I am learning a lot more. 
Yes, I know that 31 months and 3 weeks on the job was a long time to wait for improvement, but when you think about it… it really was only 26 months when adjusted for my training and vacations. 
Now that I am finally ready, I really need another couple of years, at least, to begin to deliver some improved results…and improve my resumé.
So please rehire me when my contract runs out.  You probably won’t be sorry.
Sincerely yours,
B O (POTUS)
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Disclaimer:
BO did not write the above, just as he did not write his two autobiographies. It is not for nothing that he’s known as the Teleprompter POTUS.
The above letter was ghostwritten by my friend Jay B. Gaskill, licensed attorney and former Public Defender of Alameda County, California. Check out his Policy Think site, here!
~Eowyn

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0 responses to “Letter by a Job Applicant

  1. Well done! As an employer, you couldn’t pay me enough to take this fraud back on my payroll. His best role will always be what he really is: a plant by the enemy to destroy the hand that feeds him.

     
  2. Let me tell you a short story.
    I have been brewing beer and wines for over 20 years and have entered and recieved many acclaims from my peers. I have the ribbons, ect to prove it…Whoopee No realy BFD.
    At one event on neumerous occasions (yearly for about 3 years) I came to know a public defender in Alameda County, I can’t remember his name, nor did I want to.
    This guy was a party animal (ape) to be more descriptive.
    He’d get sloppy drunk and was a druggie to boot.
    Just the kind of guy you wanted to stay away from.
    When I found out he was a public defender, it was a jaw dropping experience.
    Needless to say I steered away from this individual, and stopped going to this event. However I still make beer and wine when I have the time and motivation.
    I have known of many public sector employees that should have never been getting their paycheck from the taxpayers.
    Integredy is everything.

     
    • And what relevance does your little story have to this post?
      Are you implying that Jay Gaskill is not an honorable man?
      What a self-congratulatory, narcissistic (“recieved [sic] many acclaims from my peers. I have the ribbons, ect [sic] to prove it“), loathsome bigot you are. Keep this up, and you’ll lose your posting privileges on this blog.

       

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