Jokes to offend men and women. LOL

No_PCA wife asks her husband, “Could you please go shopping for me  and buy one carton of milk and if they have avocados, get 6.”

A  short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.

The wife asks him, “Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?”

He replies, “They had avocados.”

If you’re a woman, I’m sure you’re going back to read it again! Men will  get it the first time. 😉


Wife: “There is trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor.”

Husband: “Water in the carburetor? That’s ridiculous ”

Wife: “I tell you the car has water in the carburetor.”

Husband: “You don’t even know what a carburetor is.  I’ll check it out. Where’s the car?

Wife: “In the pool”


Husband and wife have a tiff.

Wife calls up her mom and says,  “He fought with me again, I am coming to live with you.”

Mom says, “No darling, he must pay for his mistake. I  am coming to live with you!”


Today’s Short Reading from the Bible

From Genesis: “And God promised men that good and  obedient wives would be found in all corners of the earth.”

Then He made the earth round … and He laughed and laughed and laughed!!!

Jesus laughs with babyH/t FOTM’s KenL 😀


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The second one sounds like an “I Love Lucy” moment. Priceless!

Dave McMullen
Dave McMullen

These jokes are timeless..still be true 100 years from now.


Good stuff. 😆


My wife and I had a huge argument.
She told me to pack my bags and leave.
On my way out the door she said; “ I hope you die a long, slow and miserable death”.
I said “Good grief. Would you make up your mind. First you tell me to leave and now want me to stay.”


Those are great!