I love Bagram…not!

My boyfriend spent a year stationed in Bagram and discovered the web site, ilovebagram.com . It’s where soldiers post their daily rants about life in Bagram. Although my soldier returned home from the war zone last year, we still check out the site for some laughs. Below, I present some tales of what life is like over there. (Warning, the web site has graphic language!)
ILB = I love Bagram  ILBB = I love Bagram because…

  • ILB because you never know when you are going to open a porta john and get a full frontal view of a LN standing on the seat taking a squat.
  • ILBB of this terrible stomach virus it gave me, transitioning between diarrhea and vomiting is no fun.
  • ILB because the brown splash is so much worse than the blue splash. (in the porta johns)
  • ILBB of the daily gamble I take flying my sortie in a single seat aircraft while wondering when the explosive diarrhea will strike.
  • ILBB I have lost all touch with reality….and am fine with it.

  • Because I have to move my stuff for the 8th time in 3 months.
  • ILBB I finally understand why they want to kill us. Eventually we get to leave and they are stuck here.
  • ILB because whatever is killing these birds is probably going to end up killing me if I don’t get out of here.
  • ILBB I get so bored that I am going to end up trying out the Squat Shit N Pray technique in a Portajon.
  • ILB because after being here for 12 years, we still don’t have paved roads, and a Wal-Mart.
  • ILB because even though Afghanistan is a land locked country, somehow jellyfish always find their way into the men’s showers.
  • lLB because we were winning when I left.


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6 years ago

It would almost be funny if not for the fact these poor guys still get the runs after 12 yrs. ughhh

Dr. Eowyn
Dr. Eowyn
6 years ago
Reply to  Steve

Ditto. 🙁

6 years ago

Heh! I go to that site every so often. My daughter spent a year there.
Despite Bagram’s reputation, she’d rather be redeployed there than Goodfellow AFB in TX. Which is where she might spend the next three years.

6 years ago
Reply to  DCG

Thanks! So are we!

6 years ago

Then there’s Bagram Batman… words fail.