Hugh Hefner’s #1 girlfriend: Life in Playboy mansion made me want to commit suicide

Playboy magazine, founded by Hugh Hefner in 1953, sold men (and women) the illusion of the promiscuous “playboy” lifestyle as glamorous and desirable. Nothing epitomized that lifestyle more than Hefner’s Playboy mansion in Los Angeles.

But Hefner’s #1 girlfriend, Holly Madison, 39, said that life in the Playboy mansion made her want to kill herself.

Madison’s work as a waitress at Hooters led to an invitation to move into the Playboy mansion when she was 21 years old. A year later, she “graduated” from being one of 75-year-old Hefner’s girlfriends to be his #1 girlfriend, whatever that means.

Insecure about her looks, Madison had a nose job and breast implants to boost her breasts from A to D-cup.

Madison said she wanted to marry Hefner and have his children, but in an interview at the Playmate of the Year luncheon in May 2008, Hefner said that although he loved Holly “very much” and they would be together the rest of his life, “marriage isn’t part of my puzzle.” Five months later, Madison announced that her relationship with Hefner had ended.

Fr. Mark Hodges reports for LifeSiteNews that in her 2015 memoir, Down The Rabbit Hole: Curious Adventures and Cautionary Tales of a Former Playboy Bunny, Madison said her promiscuous lifestyle of “hollow emptiness” at the Playboy mansion led her to deep despair and the point of suicide.

She said that the seemingly glamorous life at the Playboy mansion, watched by millions on television, was in reality “vacant” and a “nightmare”. There were cat fights and backstabbing among the Playboy “bunnies” because Hefner worked the girls against each other. She felt trapped in the mansion, and saw its entrance gate as “meant to lock me in.”

Describing Hefner as “a man old enough to be my grandfather,” Madison wrote that while in the bathtub one day, she thought, “If I just put my head under water and take a deep breath in, it would all be over. Maybe it was the pot and the alcohol, but drowning myself seemed like the logical way to escape the ridiculous life I was leading. I just couldn’t take my misery anymore.”

Madison said she believed that, with one possible exception among the other Playboy bunnies, no one would miss her: “Of course my family would be devastated, but I rarely saw them enough for my absence to make a difference.” Nor would Hefner care because “I was certain I was just another warm body – as we all were. ‘Just another blonde,’ I could hear him say.”

Madison ultimately concluded that suicide would be in vain, because it would just be “swept under the rug,” just like every other “scandal and ghost that once plagued Hugh Hefner.”

A mother of a girl, 6, and boy, 3, with Pasquale Rotella, Madison is now divorced. She told US Magazine that she wants her daughter to “hopefully learn from [her choices] and not make stupid mistakes herself.”

Meanwhile, another Playboy alumnus, former Baywatch star and Playboy playmate of the month Donna D’errico, 51, also turned away from her previous lifestyle to become a devout Catholic who goes to Mass every week and prays the Rosary every night with her two children.

In a Fox News interview, D’Errico said: “I’ve made mistakes and choices in my past that I wouldn’t make today. That’s a chapter in my life that I’ve closed the door on. It seems to me like another person. It’s not who I am today.”

When a Catholic reporter with Ignitum Today asked D’Errico to give advice to young women who find themselves struggling against the vicious cycle of female objectification and loss of self-esteem in modern society, D’Errico replied:

“Pray the Rosary every day. Attend Mass every Sunday. Go to Confession regularly. If you do these things, you will be able to withstand and get through anything. I know what it’s like to be led astray and fall into a life of sin. I know how easy that is. I’ve lived it. I also know what it’s like to come back.”

D’Errico also sensibly voted against Barack Obama. (LifeSiteNews)

See also:

~Eowyn

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Jon B.hickoryAuntie LuluDr. Eowynwilliamofberkshire Recent comment authors
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William
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William

The hideous and dehumanizing objectification of women by “men” is one of the reasons I once thought of myself as pro-feminist. Of course feminism was never really about that anyway. I used to buy Playboy years ago (just for the articles) but I never thought Hefner was “cool”, although he certainly tried to be. In the final analysis he was nothing more than a pornographer and a dirty degenerate old man who shamelessly exploited women. And made a fortune doing it. If he were alive today and I could meet him I’d say, you should be ashamed of yourself

Auntie Lulu
Guest
Auntie Lulu

William . . . Thank you, I certainly agree, Hefner was a “pornographer and a dirty old man.” I have always been left wondering why young women would submit themselves to being treated in such an ill manner–obviously they were looked at as though they had no value. This is very sad. I’m glad that Hefner is gone and cannot continue in this vein.

Alma
Guest
Alma

Money talks, bullshit walks. Nobody made them do it, it was their choosing, rebellious, glamour, money, the highlife, wild parties, they allowed themselves to be used, then when they were no longer usable, they were discarded -now they are older, wiser and mothers, let’s hope that saying, “like mother like daughter” doesn’t become a reality.

TrailDust
Admin

Great advice.

SAF
Guest
SAF

Hefner is to pornography what Mitt Romney is to same-sex marriage. They both did Satan’s bidding for him. Though Hefner promulgated “female objectification” so did Gloria Steinem, Betty Friedan, and Margaret Sanger, and the women who lined up to do the bidding to destroy family by making women feel that cherishing virginity and motherhood made them failures. Steinem went undercover as a Playboy bunny ostensibly to expose this female objectification. Meanwhile, this Moloch embraces the evil eugenics of Margaret Sanger and advocates the abortion of infant girls. It was because of the radical second wave feminist movement that women lost… Read more »

William
Member
William

Steinem was also a contract agent for the CIA, that agency being described by her as “liberal” and “honorable”. It is my view that second-wave feminism was essentially a bolshevik initiative. They had little success attempting to create economic class divisions in the US so opted for creating gender conflicts in order to divide and conquer. And feminism is of course profoundly anti-Christian. Kate Millet was another early “party theoretician”. I met her once at her depressing lesbian labor camp (Christmas tree farm) in upstate NY, a brittle, morbidly obese womyn. Not a good public face for feminism so they… Read more »

SAF
Guest
SAF

Unwittingly, the second wave feminist poster girls fell, hook, line, and sinker, for the deliberate dumbing down of their own sex. The academy, namely elite colleges of the liberal arts, became the breeding ground for the communist manifesto disguised as psychology using textbooks and brainwashing those who paid to play for their degree in order to be ordained “Professor.” Andrew Carnegie, who passionately rejected Christianity, published his “Gospel of Wealth” in 1899, disguising the use of financial control as philanthropy with his principal goal to promote libraries, ostensibly as free public libraries, and to control educational corporations. Carnegie felt that… Read more »

Auntie Lulu
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Auntie Lulu

SAF . . . Thank you for that most insightful reply to this article. All I can say is “Bravo” to you.

Jon B.
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Jon B.

I open doors for women, regardless of what their reactions might be…However, if I get a ‘deeply offended’ one, who sails through said open door with nary a ‘thank you’ or even a glance, I say loudly in a cheerful voice, “You’re welcome!”, and boooooy does THAT tick off some of these ‘ladies’….

DCG
Admin

Better late than never that these gals woke up and changed their lives.

Steven Broiles
Member

I hope that Holly Madison follows Donna D’Errico’s example and converts. It just shows us that repentance is possible. If Hefner is in hell, as I believe he is, it seems to me that he, of all people, VOLUNTEERED for it.

I’m no prude. I’m not necessarily against looking at tastefully done photography. Women were meant to be beautiful. But pornography demeans women—and men. And the pornography never seems to stop, in that we now have drag queen story hour and explicit sex education for kindergarten! Yes, Margaret Sanger and Hefner DO bear some responsibility for this.

D3F1ANT
Guest
D3F1ANT

Meh…all they had to do was leave.

pigpen51
Guest
pigpen51

In much the same way that women who are living with abusers, I suspect that it is difficult for women who are living the lifestyle of the sex toy to the rich and famous is hard to get out of, also. The unknown, especially for those women who have their entire lives relied upon their looks, instead of their brains or their talent to get by, can be a scary thing. I am not excusing sexual sin, which many of us commit, if not all of us have done so, either in the past, or even in the present. What… Read more »

William
Member
William

Good points, well stated

William
Member
William

I can relate re: working beneath our aptitude. I spent half my working life doing that including, now that I think of it, foundry work. Inertia, being stuck, is a formidable obstacle. As it was for these women

pigpen51
Guest
pigpen51

And of course, most of these women who enter the world of the sex workers, or the Playboy lifestyle, do so with their eyes wide open, but once in the life of sin, it is hard to get out, without the Savior. Especially with the trappings of money, and the people who worship them for their outward beauty, etc. Not that I have been in the Playboy mansion, or the like. I just know how it is for professional athletes, as well. And how they only have the one thing that they are worshipped for their entire lives, that of… Read more »

Getout
Guest
Getout

Duh.

chemtrailssuck
Guest
chemtrailssuck

I just went blind imagining Hefner having sex….argh! Yuck, what deranged woman would want to have his baby at that age….eww.

William
Member
William

It’s none of my business but I think you need to get a handle on your imagination 🙂

Truthy1
Guest
Truthy1

Hmm from Playboy to / or back to Catholicism … not much of an improvement … jumping from the fire into the frying pan … there is still a chance for redemption … put away the rosary beads to begin with …

DCG
Admin

Well, that’s your opinion.

Guess “redemption” is only allowed for demorat folk like the “Coonman,” from which your IP address hails.

Lana
Guest
Lana

So strange that this article is posted after a thought I had the other day….. I thought of the ” Playboy” mansion when the old Buzzard dies and who and how will they sell the thing. I have heard that the place is extremely depressing with the carpets smelling like urine and other horrors. But the biggest horror of all has to be the indisputable fact for anyone who is spiritually discerning, that they would be moving into a place that is possessed by demons. Beyond the pure vapid hedonism that has taken place there, I bet my bottom dollar… Read more »

William
Member
William

That happens to me frequently, I’ll think of something and then there it is. Synchronicities are subtle messages I think. I thought that Hefner’s daughter took over the management of his degenerate “empire”. The “mansion” should have a Rite of Exorcism performed and then be purified with fire and then the ground sown with salt. But some Satanist billionaire will probably buy it and keep the portal open. Or perhaps the goobermint will declare it a national heritage site. Thinking of Hefner (involuntarily), I recall his smirking libertine father-knows-best persona. Disgusting, the antithesis of honorable manhood. Now on to more… Read more »

Auntie Lulu
Guest
Auntie Lulu

What a sad commentary on life that one would choose to live among such morally bankrupt individuals. Frankly, looking at the picture of this young woman with Heffner . . . . . those fake boobs aren’t really anything to be envied. They look fake, and are reminiscent of a side-show attraction, and nothing else.

Alma
Guest
Alma

The only conversion for these whores is from one user to another. They’ll never be decent women.

hickory
Guest
hickory

Praying that all might be saved and come to a knowledge of the truth and repentance.
There are saints who were murderers, fornicators, and all the rest. We can’t write anyone off even though ‘by the odds’ it might seem to be true.

Jon B.
Guest
Jon B.

Maaaan, what a heinous thing to say…HOW HEAVY was that first stone, hmm??