How to install a Southern Home Security System.

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1. Go to Goodwill and buy a pair of size 14-16 men’s work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a  copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.
3. Put four giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads  ……



Bertha, Duke,  Slim, & I went for more ammo and beer.

Be back in an hour. Don’t mess with the pit bulls.

They got the mailman this morning and messed him up bad. I don’t think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of ’em in the house. Better wait outside. Be right back.


~Steve~             H/T    Miss May

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0 responses to “How to install a Southern Home Security System.

  1. This is SOP for us Okies….

  2. I would add: Oh, yeah don’t go around back, that mamma alligator laid eggs again and you know how testy she gets. Also, Bubba jr. left the rattle snake cage open again.

  3. Works for me!
    I like the boots idea too…

  4. LOL!

  5. As soon as I read this I knew what it was: the most cost-effective redneck security system! I’m getting right on it, soon as I put my Jeff Foxworthy CDs on!!

  6. i always had good luck with my wolf/dogs patrolling my property igor and rocky and their mother tasha

  7. Hey there, Does anyone know of any good sites that have bird house plans on them. The ones I have found are not too good.
    I am looking for plans for birds that live in the southern U.S.


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