How to give a cat a Pill..ouch

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  1. Sit on sofa. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your elbow as though
    you were going to give a bottle to a baby. Talk softly to it.
  2. With right hand, position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s
    mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. (be
    patient) As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and
    swallow. Drop pill into mouth. Let go of cat, noticing the direction it runs.
  3. Pick the pill up off the floor and go get the cat from behind sofa. Cradle
    cat in left arm and repeat process. Sit on floor in kitchen, wrap arm around cat
    as before, drop pill in mouth. Let go of cat, noticing the direction it runs.
  4. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away. Scoot across floor to
    pick up pill, and go find the cat. Bring it back into the kitchen. Take new pill
    from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand.
    Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth
    shut for a count of ten. Drop pill into mouth.
  5. Pry claws from back legs out of your arm. Go get the cat, pick up
    half-dissolved pill from floor and drop it into garbage can.
  6. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of closet. Call spouse
    from backyard. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front
    and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly
    with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and
    rub cat’s throat vigorously.
  7. Retrieve cat from curtain rod, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to
    buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered Doulton figures
    from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
  8. Get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill
    in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking
    straw.
  9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to
    take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse’s forearm and remove blood from carpet
    with cold water and soap.
  10. Retrieve cat from neighbor’s shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard
    and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert
    spoon. Flick pill down throat with rubber band.
  11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Apply cold
    compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Throw T-shirt
    away and fetch new one from bedroom.
  12. Call fire department to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to
    neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take another pill
    from foil wrap.
  13. Tie cat’s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg
    of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed, force cat’s mouth
    open with small spanner. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet
    steak. Hold head vertically and pour one cup of water down throat to wash pill
    down.
  14. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor
    stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call at
    furniture shop on way home to order new table.
  15. Get last pill from bottle. Go into bathroom and get a fluffy towel. Stay in
    the bathroom with the cat, and close the door.
  16. Sit on bathroom floor, wrap towel around kitty, leaving only his head
    exposed. Cradle kitty in the crook of your arm, and pick up pill off of counter.
  17. Retrieve cat from top of shower door (you didn’t know that cats can jump 5
    feet straight up in the air, did you?), and wrap towel around it a little
    tighter, making sure its paws can’t come out this time. With fingers at either
    side of its jaw, pry it open and pop pill into mouth. Quickly close mouth (his,
    not yours).
  18. Sit on floor with cat in your lap, stroking it under the chin and talking
    gently to it for at least a half hour, while the pill dissolves.
  19. Unwrap towel, open bathroom door. Wash off scratches in warm soapy water,
    comb your hair, and go find something to occupy your time for 7-1/2 hours.
  20. Arrange for SPCA to get cat and call local pet shop to see if they have any
    hamsters.
  21. ~Steve~           Insperation from Miss Sage. :       
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0 responses to “How to give a cat a Pill..ouch

  1. Oh so painfully true and hilarious! My mother actually used to wrap the cat in a towel and then spit the pill into the back if it’s throat so it gagged the tablet down. Classy!

     
  2. Hahahahahahahaha… been there, done that!!! So true!!!

     
  3. That’s is so funny because it is so true.
    We had two cats when I was a kid.
    I finally figured out through trial-and-error that the best way to get them to take their pills was to wait until they were really hungry, put them in separate rooms, crush up the pill, mix it with a little bit of their food, and don’t let them out until they have eaten it.
    It took a little longer but was much less destructive and dangerous. 🙂
    -Dave

     
    • Another method is to either:
      a. Ask the vet for the medication in liquid form, administered through an eyedrop syringe.
      or
      b. Crush the darn pill yourself, mix it with a little bit of water, and squirt it into cat’s mouth with syringe.
      Why?
      Because it is darn near IMPOSSIBLE to pill a cat ! – spoken from years and years of experience. LOL

       
      • Back in the 90’s I had a pair of Lab-Doberman mixes.
        LOL – Even thoough they could have taken my hand off with one bite, I much preferred giving them pills than a cat.
        -Dave

         
  4. here kitty-kitty-kitty… mrrrrrr grrrrr spitsssss hissss
    one of lifes little lessons best learned young …
    when the cat makes that noise,you’d best just run
    Don’t mess with the cat or rattle snakes,lol’s
    …and just be thankful that cat’s don’t have thumbs.

     
  5. A vet told me this secret, blow a strong puff of air in his face when you put the pill in his mouth. He is suppose to swallow when you do it. At least it worked for the vet…;-)
    Cute article Steve…

     
  6. I had to get a tetanus shot once after giving my cat Sammy a pill. Seriously. This was the cat that I once (and only once) tried to bathe with leather gloves and still ended up scratched all over. Silly girl…

     
  7. The “cat in the towel” thing IS the way to go…lol…however, I didn’t “spit” the pill into his mouth. I crushed and dissolved it in a bit of chicken broth, and used an eye-dropper by carefully sliding alongside the inner jaw toward the back of the throat and gave a quick squeeze of the dropper and blew a puff of air in his face…. voilà! LOL He was rather miffed, and ignored me for hours….But…it worked for me! 🙂

     
  8. Steve, this is hysterical! We have a cat named ,”Joanie” that we give two pills a day to for her thryoid problems. She is a dear, dear sweetie! Dr. Eowyn knows her. However, she is very easy to give pills to – you just kiss her on the head, open her mouth and down it goes. She knows she needs it and so she is cooperative. She is so very cute!

     
  9. LOL! Yes, we are lucky to have Joanie!

     
  10. never any such problems giving pills to the dogs… you just couldn’t use the word pill when preparing their food. or show them the pill and mention you where going to mix the pill in their food. you had to be sneaky.

     

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