Note: This is NOT an April’s Fool joke post.
TV/radio talker Glenn Beck, a Mormon, is getting stranger by the day.
First, he goes all bromance about Ted Cruz, calling the latter the fulfillment of a Mormon prophecy about the end days, who would ride in on a white horse to rescue the tattered U.S. Constitution.
Then Beck threatened evangelical Christians that if they don’t vote for Cruz in the GOP primary elections, they aren’t listening to “their God”.
Now, Beck has taken his infatuation with Cruz one step further with weird homoerotic allusions.
Jayce Wagner reports for Inquisitr that on Glenn Beck’s show Monday morning, March 28, 2016, Beck made a strange, off-color joke about how he and his crew had all been “raped by Ted Cruz,” referring to the latter’s “Cuban fire”.
Beck said: “I have to tell you, it’s been a hard Monday morning. We’ve all been raped by Ted Cruz.”
Then Beck launched into a soliloquy about his relationship with Ted Cruz and how much Beck and his co-hosts adore Cruz. Beck described how Cruz had romanced him and “backed [Beck] into a bathroom stall” just after an interview discussing the U.S. Constitution, which, according to Beck, left him “needing a cigarette.”
Beck said: “When he [Cruz] said to me, he said ‘Glenn, we need a more perfect union,’ I thought he was talking to me about the Constitution but then he looked at me with those strong brown eyes, oh my gosh he backed me into a bathroom stall.”
The rape joke came at the top of Glenn Beck’s Monday morning show on the Blaze. A bit later, Beck dismissed the rumors of Cruz’s extramarital affairs by saying, not that Cruz has too much moral integrity to cheat on his wife, but that Cruz simply isn’t man enough (“not having enough game”) to have five mistresses.
Urban Dictionary defines “having game” as “When someone (preferably a guy) is able to pull off anyone they desire . . . by saying either the sweetest thing or act in a polite manner.” Blogger Cameron defines “having game” as an alpha-male who “is pretty good at attracting women to himself” by being “confident” (“having big balls”), having an “intuitive understanding of social dynamics,” and making themselves interesting “through humor, great storytelling, or intriguing conversations”.
Glenn Beck agreed, laughingly saying that having met Ted Cruz is enough to know that he’s not capable of pulling off an affair — let alone five affairs with five different women. Beck said his [Beck’s] wife had laughed about the National Enquirer article on Cruz’s five mistresses because, as Beck put it, “she’s been around him.” Beck said:
“I don’t mean to hurt Ted’s feelings at all, but when I told my wife, have you seen the Enquirer, she just laughed, she’s been around him. We’re surprised he had enough game for Heidi….
If somebody had said Ted [Cruz] had one affair and it happened six years ago, I would say I don’t think so but maybe? I mean everyone makes mistakes. But I’m having this really hard time with this five women that he’s backing into bathroom and broom closets at campaign rallies.”
In other words, Glenn Beck thinks Ted Cruz is too much of a dweeb to have wrangled five women into extramarital affairs. But Cruz is the fulfillment of Mormons’ end-days prophecy! Too funny.
For his part, Ted Cruz has also made homoerotic allusions — about Donald Trump. In his statement about the National Enquirer story of his five alleged mistresses, instead of denying he’s had extramarital relations, Cruz instead denied having sexual relations with Donald Trump. (See “Ted Cruz: ‘I have no desire to copulate with Trump’.”
- Who’s the stupid one, Glenn Beck? (On Beck calling “birthers” “dumb”)
- Washington Times caught in lies after firing columnist for confirming 2 of Ted Cruz’s alleged mistresses
- Ted Cruz evades reporter’s question about his rumored adulterous affairs
- Ted Cruz’s senate e-address was a subscriber of Ashley Madison adultery ‘dating’ service