Felon farts marijuana after shooting himself in the testicles

Source: KPRC AM 950

From Fox News.com.com, May 24

A bungling felon from Washington state made a series of blunders when he shot himself in the testicles and tried to hide the weapon — all while storing drugs in his anus, a report said Wednesday.

Cameron Jeffrey Wilson, 27, was carrying a pistol in his front pocket while in his Cashmere, Wash., apartment on April 5 when the firearm accidentally discharged and pierced his groin and thigh, according to the Wenatchee World News.

Wilson, who is a 13-time convicted felon, told his girlfriend to dispose of the weapon before heading to the hospital, the paper said.

When the ex-con finally went to the hospital, a balloon of marijuana slipped out of his anus while a doctor was operating on the gunshot wound, court records show.

Cops also arrived at the hospital when alerted of the gunshot wound and searched Wilson’s car where they discovered a bag of meth in the blood-stained jeans he was wearing when he shot himself. The officers issued an arrest warrant for Wilson and he turned himself in to police on April 18.

As he was being processed at the Chelan County Regional Justice Center, Wilson was strip-searched and another balloon of marijuana slipped from his anus, the paper said.

While in jail, Wilson made a number of calls to his girlfriend and asked her not to cooperate with investigators working on his case. Authorities were listening in on the calls.

The convicted felon was charged with possession of a firearm, unlawful possession of meth, possession of a controlled substance in a correctional facility, and four counts of tampering with a witness.

Wilson was being held on $110,000 bail and is due in court on June 18.

~ Grif

Pic of Wilson added by Dr. Eowyn

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Dr. Eowyn
Admin
1 year ago

Let’s hope shooting himself in the testicles will prevent this useless eater from procreating.

Lori Qualls
Lori Qualls
1 year ago

Future Mensa Member!

Watertender
Watertender
1 year ago

Darwin Award Valedickheaditorian

William
William
1 year ago

This has to be one of the all-time great FOTM headlines, right up there with “Morroccan Muslims get Rabies after having Sex with donkey”. I’ll have to read it after I stop laughing. I saw the part about the “Balloon of marijuana in his anus”. Why would anyone have a balloon of marijuana in their anus? Heroin maybe, but isn’t marijuana pretty much legal? I imagine it’s a challenge for this loser to tie his shoes. He should go with velcro

Lophatt
Lophatt
1 year ago
Reply to  William

He probably didn’t have access to a champagne cork.

chemtrailssuck
1 year ago
Reply to  William

Reminds me of a joke about a monkey, a pig and a cork.

Alma
Alma
1 year ago

Serves him right, guess the marijuana “vault” gave away his secret.

Lophatt
Lophatt
1 year ago

That meth is a hell of a drug! These are the sort of stories judges get to hear all the time from these guys. “Well, you see first I did…….., then I did…….., and of course I had no choice but to…….! None of which makes any sense at ALL.

Maybe they should just shoot him in the other nut. Some people pay good money for that.

YouKnowWho
YouKnowWho
1 year ago

He looks a little loser-ish

Clarioncaller
Clarioncaller
1 year ago

Sounds like a perfect screenplay for Jim Carrey’s next installment of “Dumb and Dumber”.

Mad Celt
Mad Celt
1 year ago

We call him Jane.

Steven Broiles
1 year ago

I’m sorry but the schadenfreude here is just too rich! I feel sorry for Wilson, but I’m sublimely laughing my ass off over this one! And it was only marijuana. Give the man a near-Darwin Award!

Lophatt
Lophatt
1 year ago
Reply to  Steven Broiles

Are you asking him to “aim higher” next time?

chemtrailssuck
1 year ago

What a nut, doesn’t he know that only the CIA is allowed to import drugs?