Ever Wondered Why Chimps Throw Poop?

Me neither, but somebody in the federal government must have really had a knot in their boxers wanting to know, as last year they spent $592,000 of our money in an effort to find out why.
Via moneymorning.com:
Why Chimps Throw Poop… And 17 Other Examples of Government Waste
February 22, 2012
By David Zeiler, Associate Editor, Money Morning
Never mind the $15 trillion national debt; the government blew $592,000 on a study last year to figure out why chimpanzees throw poop.
That’s just one example of government waste described in a recent book by Sen. Tom Coburn, R-OK. His “Wastebook 2011” features 100 examples of needless or ill-advised government spending.
It adds up to $6.9 billion that America can’t afford. And while such waste is just a fraction of the federal government’s $3.8 trillion budget, a country that needs to borrow 36 cents of every dollar it spends should not be throwing money away on non-essential research.
Like why chimps throw poop.
Here are 17 other things the government wasted tax dollars on last year:
17 Ways Government Wastes Your Money
1. Exporting Elmo: The U.S. Agency for International Development provided $10 million to a Pakistani arts organization to adapt “Sesame Street” for Pakistani toddlers. The money will also help pay for the creation of 130 episodes of the show.
2. Dragon Robots for Preschoolers: The National Science Foundation spent $131,000 on robot dragons designed to mimic human responses to help teach preschoolers language skills. Apparently interaction with real humans was deemed inadequate.
3. Virtual Mummies: Thanks to a $25,000 federal grant, visitors to the Milwaukee Public Museum will now be able to experience a “3-D high-definition, full-color true holographic or holographic-like exhibit of a virtual mummy unwrapping.”
4. Dead Man’s Party: Those who complain federal employment benefits are already too generous won’t be pleased to learn that many government workers keep receiving payments long after they’ve died. The Inspector General for the U.S. Office of Personnel Management says “the amount of post-death improper payments is consistently $100-$150 million annually, totaling over $601 million in the last five years.”
5. Cowboy Poetry: It’s hard to recall John Wayne reciting verse in any of the many Westerns he made, but cowboy poetry is a big enough phenomenon to have its own annual celebration. And this year taxpayers helped pay for it courtesy of a $50,000 contribution from the U.S. government.
6. Promiscuous Quail: The National Institute of Health gave the University of Kentucky $176,000 to determine if Japanese quail are more likely to have sex when high on cocaine. The study is scheduled to last through 2015.
7. Happiness is … Social Media: Another National Science Foundation grant for $198,000 paid for a University of California-Riverside study of “motivations, expectations and goal pursuit in social media.” Among the questions the study seeks to answer: “Do unhappy people spend more time on Twitter or Facebook?”
[…]
16. Chinese Puzzle: The Chinese economy is second only to that of the United States. And China holds billions of dollars in U.S. debt. So the U.S. government sent $17.8 million in aid to China last year to improve the Asian giant’s social services and clean up its environment. That makes sense, right?
You will find the rest of the list here.
And we wonder why we are spinning in the bottom of the financial toilet bowl as a nation, as you can be sure the eighteen things listed here are not even scratching the surface.
-Dave 

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0 responses to “Ever Wondered Why Chimps Throw Poop?

  1. The Repubs in Congress are just as much to blame for this egregious waste of taxpayers’ hard-earned $. I’d love to see the list of those members of Congress who voted for this spending.

     
  2. Ohhhhhhhhh, Sage, you said it—-! Good one!

     
  3. Cheetah, come home. You hanging out with evil chimpos!

     
  4. Is that picture our members of Congress?
    Unfortunately, with their lack of fiscal responsibility, we end up being played for chumps.

     
  5. Throw poop? Because they usually don’t have AK-47s.

     
  6. Good one! My favs were #6 & 16. The chimp video w/the AK-47s was a BEAUT: we need MANY more like it. We should run a contest to develop a request to fund something utterly stupid and see if we get the money. That will forever prove our unbelievably overpaid politicos are way more stupid than us sheeple who pay their bills.

     
    • More chimp action… providing them with things nastier than poop is probably not a good idea.

       
      • Anon,
        Comments on the YouTube site say this video is actually a Hollywood movie, not a real documentary. ???

         
        • Chimp w/ AK-47 is more than likely Hollywood (it is a bit much, part of the promo activity for the Planet of the Apes remake) but the machette bit is at least the sort of insane thing Idi Amin would do (of course, why would he bother when he could more easily send actual people to the field for securing his stuff and chimps have to be taught friendlies from foes too?). Still, giving chimps worse than poop to fling is not a good idea.

           
  7. Don’t forget the Supremes….
    ….makes ME want to fling poo !!!!!

     
  8. monkey see monkey do.

     
  9. I ‘d like to order one to the whitehouse please. Another one to congress. just sayin since we paid for them.. someone stuffed their pockets again. Put him or her on the list.

     
  10. What is super funny about these…
    1) “Exporting Elmo”- I have seen Islam Kids shows, is our $ paying to train their future soldiers to hate us? Does Bert wear a turban? Does the girl puppet cover her pink hair and face?
    5)”Cowboy Poetry”- My husband is a rancher, and he most definitely rides thru the cattle strummin his gee tar while reciting words that rhythm…u know,kinda like Gene Autry. I bet his invitation was sent when our tax refund check for 2010 was sent….NEVER! (Here’s ur Sign!)
    6)”Promiscuous Quail”- HAHAHAHAHAHA! Cause we just gots us so many quails with coke (cocaine) addictions….might as well try to figure out how to make the best of a bad situation! (This one is my all time fav!) 🙂

     
  11. They do that in Gitmo, don’t they?

     
  12. It is always easy for pandering politicians to make fun of science projects. But a lot of these things have real-world applications that completely overwhelm their costs. E.g., why look at the genetics of fruit flies? Except that this has proven to be a very good analog for the human genome, with some direct medical fall-out. If you really want to go after gummit waste, go after the big bail-outs…

     

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